Okay, no spanking. I get that but what's this dad suppose to do?

[phylny]

119. Two things to share with you:

I'm a speech-language pathologist who not only helps with behavior, but with feeding. First, behavior.

I work with toddlers and children and some of them have autism, which at times makes behavioral issues worse. When parents come to me with this problem, and when we come across it during early intervention sessions, I show them that they tell the child, calmly, that if they do x again, they'll be put in time out. "We don't hit people, so if you hit Mommy again, you'll go to time out." The child hits, and they go into time out.

Yes, they will come out. You calmly tell them that they are in time out and are to stay put and you put them back. They may try once, they may try 100 times, to leave and keep screaming, but don't engage them and don't give them attention. Somewhere along the line, the child has learned that the tantrum gets results. Back to time out they go.

Once they stay put, but if they're still screaming, I say, "Tell me when you're done" and the mother and I have a pleasant conversation and we absolutely ignore the child. Please do a bit of research and look up the term "extinction burst," which is the "burst" when the undesirable behavior escalates and escalates as they try to have you bend to their will, and it will get worse before it gets better. Do not give in.

The eating dinner in front of the television has to stop. With all due respect, you don't need to "try" to break her of the behavior of eating with the television on, you just do it. End of discussion. "We have decided that from now on, no one eats with the television on."

Eating has a nutritional, but also a social function, and we learn to eat by being with and watching others eat. Young children's brains are wired as they learn, and if they watch television while eating, they don't learn to eat properly. I could say lots more, but the bottom line is, no television during meals.