General Discussion

TexasMommaWithAHat

(3,212 posts)

299. I wish my father had beat the shit out of my mother.

Mon Sep 29, 2014, 03:39 PM

Sep 2014

I grew up lower middle class, raised by a mother was one of the meanest people I've ever met. We were spanked with belts that left welts. Daddy knew mom spanked us, but I don't think he ever realized how hard she hit us.

My dad would have never left her because they could barely support us in one household on two paychecks, and in those days he would have probably never gotten custody. Besides, who had money for attorneys.

She sent him to the hospital once, but in a police car, of course, because he was the male and must have been the aggressor. She was just plain shit mean and abusive.

He wasn't going to report her. He wasn't going to leave her. And if he had fought back, he most likely would have been jailed.

It was a sucky situation all around, but to this day I wish that just once he could have beaten the crap out of her.

Yeah...that kind of childhood leaves emotional scars, even if I did avoid the physical kind.

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If a woman is hitting me....I still won't hit her. [View all] trumad Sep 2014 OP

I don't know. I would hit anyone who hit me first. Recursion Sep 2014 #1

IMHO, you should use only such force as is necessary to protect yourself as you retreat./NT DemocratSinceBirth Sep 2014 #6

Maybe I'm unromantic Recursion Sep 2014 #7

That's pretty much my first impulse, too. Then I get that flash of rationality and get out of dodge BlueCaliDem Sep 2014 #257

As I have taught my son's & has always been my rule as giftedgirl77 Sep 2014 #2

Nope.... trumad Sep 2014 #4

And if you can't run? randome Sep 2014 #8

Well why can't you? trumad Sep 2014 #15

Close quarters. randome Sep 2014 #17

I would get my son and daughter out of there... trumad Sep 2014 #19

Normal domestic type shit involves trapping people in close quarters joeglow3 Sep 2014 #104

What if she just starts wailing on you & doesn't stop? giftedgirl77 Sep 2014 #10

I wouldn't hit either, unless I saw no other way to protect myself. Jackpine Radical Sep 2014 #76

Most guys don't think women like you exist. edgineered Sep 2014 #228

I've met girls like you. Xyzse Sep 2014 #256

I don't fight unless I have to. giftedgirl77 Sep 2014 #297

Well, for someone like me, it was ingrained from a young age. Xyzse Sep 2014 #298

I've always taught my kids that you don't swing first giftedgirl77 Sep 2014 #306

That's a good way to go about it. Xyzse Sep 2014 #310

Yeah, I've learned that with age. giftedgirl77 Sep 2014 #313

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #5

Oh Pinto trumad Sep 2014 #12

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #20

Only little boys I remember are the MRA gang trumad Sep 2014 #23

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #26

look..I say I wouldn't punch a woman with a fist trumad Sep 2014 #27

Would you punch a man with a closed fist? joeglow3 Sep 2014 #109

I really have to explain the distinction? trumad Sep 2014 #113

it wasnt healthy for me to walk into this thread. my eyes kinda opened in surprise, at that one. nt seabeyond Sep 2014 #214

Quit the bullshit joeglow3 Sep 2014 #235

quit the bullshit on expressing my experience reading your post? you are telling me seabeyond Sep 2014 #237

Quit the bullshit logic you fail at employing joeglow3 Sep 2014 #239

Omg... Lmfao. I am so tired of you posters continually taking it to seabeyond Sep 2014 #246

You responded with faux outrage that would have done Fox News proud joeglow3 Sep 2014 #247

at least here i can actually address your accusations. first. 1. faux outrage? you accuse. seabeyond Sep 2014 #266

And I clearly stated it is sexist to assume ALL women are weaker to ALL men joeglow3 Sep 2014 #269

"Are you saying"... no. you are saying that. quit. seabeyond Sep 2014 #270

"Would you punch a man with a closed fist? If yes, why the distinction." seabeyond Sep 2014 #271

Trumad made a claim that he would NEVER strike a female with a closed fist joeglow3 Sep 2014 #272

"Would you punch a man with a closed fist? If yes, why the distinction." seabeyond Sep 2014 #273

So, it appears the disagreement is around the fact that you like statements that are absolutes joeglow3 Sep 2014 #274

"he fact that you like statements that are absolutes". no. there is no FACT in your false accusation seabeyond Sep 2014 #276

"i did not even read the rest of your post." VERY convenient... joeglow3 Sep 2014 #277

OMG.... omg omg. "Like I said, intellectually dishonest." seabeyond Sep 2014 #278

Then read the substance of what I wrote and respond joeglow3 Sep 2014 #280

no. you lose the respect of having your post read, when i immediately come up on a fabricated seabeyond Sep 2014 #283

"fact that you like statements that are absolutes" i call bullshit. is that clear enough? seabeyond Sep 2014 #284

Bull shit joeglow3 Sep 2014 #286

no. i did not read what you posted. and now. i am done. seabeyond Sep 2014 #287

I already explained how it is not a fabrication. You just decided to not read those posts. joeglow3 Sep 2014 #289

Yes. You really have to explain the distinction. joeglow3 Sep 2014 #236

Look---let's just put it this way trumad Sep 2014 #241

Like I said, we both know why you wouldn't answer the question joeglow3 Sep 2014 #245

Yeah--suuuuure you are. trumad Sep 2014 #254

Then why the refusal to answer the question? joeglow3 Sep 2014 #258

What the distinction thing? trumad Sep 2014 #259

kinda like why i do not close fist, and punch my little kid? lol. nt seabeyond Sep 2014 #262

other than being nonvioent, always, that is. nt seabeyond Sep 2014 #263

I never made that claim joeglow3 Sep 2014 #264

I think I mentioned that if your life depended on it... trumad Sep 2014 #292

It's not really surprising though, is it? Sheldon Cooper Sep 2014 #288

Little boys? oh my LittleBlue Sep 2014 #38

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #39

post it... trumad Sep 2014 #56

Post removed Post removed Sep 2014 #86

Thanks for reposting that.. trumad Sep 2014 #107

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #115

Oh I see...you were watching out for me. trumad Sep 2014 #118

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #121

Another saved post from 9 months ago?! Holy crap! R B Garr Sep 2014 #125

Post removed Post removed Sep 2014 #126

and the "dumb-fucks" are always in your photobucket... R B Garr Sep 2014 #129

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #136

...and you saved the posts for 9 months, R B Garr Sep 2014 #142

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #145

So you have files on people with those spreadsheets R B Garr Sep 2014 #161

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #164

Obsession has nothing to do with basic computer skills. R B Garr Sep 2014 #165

Life of a net nanny. Texasgal Sep 2014 #190

Net nanny is a very kind description. R B Garr Sep 2014 #195

Distuptive and obvious. Texasgal Sep 2014 #196

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #199

Seems you are always involved. Texasgal Sep 2014 #203

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #206

Thank you! Disruptive and obvious is exactly right. R B Garr Sep 2014 #201

i saw this the other day. i thought perfect. seabeyond Sep 2014 #217

you really are a piece of work pitobean. you have this shit you are feeding on two boards now. seabeyond Sep 2014 #211

It's pretty obvious what you were posting about, not sure why pintobean thinks he's scoring seaglass Sep 2014 #117

Oh but he was watching out for me. trumad Sep 2014 #119

Hmmm I knew I had seen that screenshot recently... seaglass Sep 2014 #166

oh my fuggin' god. really? and he is all innocent about it when shown the ridiculousness seabeyond Sep 2014 #218

That's ... sheshe2 Sep 2014 #227

Yep. JTFrog Sep 2014 #281

Well, the admins may have turned a blind eye to that crap, JTFrog Oct 2014 #327

Really? Rex Sep 2014 #213

True. And what's also revealing is how much the post he stored for 9 months R B Garr Sep 2014 #120

They do that at the cave? Kingofalldems Sep 2014 #151

pintobean's posts reveal all. R B Garr Sep 2014 #162

Is that what the self-delete campaign is all about? Rex Sep 2014 #219

Well damn, looks like he just self deleted everything. Kingofalldems Sep 2014 #221

Methinks someone was avoiding more hidden posts... DeadLetterOffice Sep 2014 #222

thanks for taking the time to clearly express what i feel about that. over and over and over. nt seabeyond Sep 2014 #216

"I'm a fighter by nature." Says all I need to know about you! LOL. Really?? nt Logical Sep 2014 #18

Ummm...huh? randome Sep 2014 #22

Yeah really. I can win fights both verbally & physically. giftedgirl77 Sep 2014 #50

LOL, I love internet toughies! Sounds like a SNL skit. nt Logical Sep 2014 #81

Except I grew up on the streets of Miami, joined giftedgirl77 Sep 2014 #207

Only you think they are all hippies apparently. nt Logical Sep 2014 #212

Post removed Post removed Sep 2014 #303

Are u fuckin serious? giftedgirl77 Sep 2014 #305

Meh. There are women who can fight. RedCappedBandit Sep 2014 #3

Well of course there are women who can kick ass.. trumad Sep 2014 #16

If some guy punched me, ... it isn't his ass that I would kick. meti57b Sep 2014 #31

I would if I had to, is what I'm saying. RedCappedBandit Sep 2014 #51

Why this OP? yeoman6987 Sep 2014 #54

Women can hurt and even kill men physically ripcord Sep 2014 #102

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #9

again..your faux concern for teh women's is hilarious. trumad Sep 2014 #13

See my initial post -#6 DemocratSinceBirth Sep 2014 #11

I wonder what's with the concern about the right to hit others? alp227 Sep 2014 #175

But you -can- think of a circumstance where a woman would hit you? HereSince1628 Sep 2014 #14

Far too broad of a statement fo rme to agree with. 99Forever Sep 2014 #21

You can punch all you want. .. trumad Sep 2014 #24

Is that what I said? 99Forever Sep 2014 #25

I think -- rogerashton Sep 2014 #28

A dangerous, trained fighter would catch you. randome Sep 2014 #29

Probably! rogerashton Sep 2014 #64

I like the way you think :-) n/t seaglass Sep 2014 #180

My Sensei taught us to not give chase. And it wouldn't be wise legally to pursue. freshwest Sep 2014 #232

I assume you hold the same standards if a man is hitting you? Schema Thing Sep 2014 #30

Oh so equity means punching a woman with a fist trumad Sep 2014 #32

well, yeah, if you would do the same with a man Schema Thing Sep 2014 #35

agreed Man from Pickens Sep 2014 #33

This message was self-deleted by its author Islandurp Sep 2014 #34

Why did you self-delete, Islandurp? That was the funniest post in this thread! randome Sep 2014 #36

Had a list of scenarios in my head that went all the way up to a her setting off nuclear bomb... Islandurp Sep 2014 #37

I Would Call The Cops Dirty Socialist Sep 2014 #40

"Excuse me a moment, can you stop beating me so I can call the police?" randome Sep 2014 #45

Touche! Dirty Socialist Sep 2014 #87

I guess I would have to wrestle her to the ground Dirty Socialist Sep 2014 #90

Sounds sexy. randome Sep 2014 #123

I just don't see why this can't be framed as "much smaller and weaker person" instead of "woman" Threedifferentones Sep 2014 #41

I agree........... socialist_n_TN Sep 2014 #53

benevolent sexism is the first thing that popped into my head as well. nt m-lekktor Sep 2014 #92

Because otherwise it wouldn't be flame-bait, and would be devoid of strawman replies by the OP. arcane1 Sep 2014 #152

Sorry I can't agree that I would do the same.... socialist_n_TN Sep 2014 #42

I've practiced a martial art for over a decade deutsey Sep 2014 #282

Yep. Graduated response. I was taught that way from the very first class I took....... socialist_n_TN Oct 2014 #317

Shotokan, supplemented with some very basic Hapkido and Krav Maga techniques deutsey Oct 2014 #318

I don't think anyone disagrees with this. Dr. Strange Sep 2014 #43

Another DUzy! randome Sep 2014 #44

Lmao! Quackers Sep 2014 #49

That is funny trumad Sep 2014 #55

And that is expected of you, trumad. Go with the flow! randome Sep 2014 #62

Heh. n/t lumberjack_jeff Sep 2014 #70

lol Liberal_in_LA Sep 2014 #99

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #46

White knight? randome Sep 2014 #47

I was thinking more on the lines of... Puglover Sep 2014 #48

again. You are bent out of shape because I won't hit a woman. trumad Sep 2014 #63

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #82

You're just bent. randome Sep 2014 #131

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #132

I know right? Union Scribe Sep 2014 #84

a fauxminist Doctor_J Sep 2014 #89

That's great. Rex Sep 2014 #52

Personally, I wouldn't hit, nor would I associate with another who has a tendency towards physical notadmblnd Sep 2014 #57

"And when I mean hit her...I mean with a open hand or fist." Scootaloo Sep 2014 #58

+1 Jamaal510 Sep 2014 #223

Gotta have room for an Austin Powers style judo chop, baby. That is how a gentleman settles a TheKentuckian Sep 2014 #275

an observation trumad Sep 2014 #59

But would you, could you, in a box? randome Sep 2014 #61

Would you, could you, give a guy a break? moriah Sep 2014 #65

Oh, I'm not arguing against anyone's personal choices. randome Sep 2014 #68

I wish my father had beat the shit out of my mother. TexasMommaWithAHat Sep 2014 #299

Excuse me? 99Forever Sep 2014 #69

Come on now... trumad Sep 2014 #78

There is nothing common about sense. 99Forever Sep 2014 #95

I could not bring myself to take a swing at a woman, either. Nye Bevan Sep 2014 #60

I hear that ladies swear a lot in your presence, though. randome Sep 2014 #73

If my life is in danger, I'm hitting him, her, it (nt) bigwillq Sep 2014 #66

If a woman is hitting me, I will call the cops. lumberjack_jeff Sep 2014 #67

What if it's a woman cop who is beating you? What then, smart guy? randome Sep 2014 #71

Well, that's a good point. lumberjack_jeff Sep 2014 #72

Indeed. randome Sep 2014 #80

need a clarification please irisblue Sep 2014 #110

The way I read it Prophet 451 Sep 2014 #143

Yes. 50% is reciprocal, 35% is female on male. lumberjack_jeff Sep 2014 #249

70 percent of nonreciprocal. lumberjack_jeff Sep 2014 #242

If ANYONE was hitting me, I still wouldn't hit them. RoccoR5955 Sep 2014 #74

I'm with you. n/t seaglass Sep 2014 #188

WWSD? randome Sep 2014 #75

Male or female; ya get what ya give. If that's too brutal for ya? cherokeeprogressive Sep 2014 #77

Well that's fine by your standards. trumad Sep 2014 #79

If there is one standard for everyone, then everyone knows what to expect. cherokeeprogressive Sep 2014 #85

These things are a matter of relative size and strength treestar Sep 2014 #83

has this happened to you often? Doctor_J Sep 2014 #88

I always wonder why people feel the need to make claims such as the OPs. Rex Sep 2014 #93

Position good. AngryAmish Sep 2014 #98

I like Rocky road Doctor_J Sep 2014 #147

Well That's A Thread Killer! ProfessorGAC Sep 2014 #279

I know. Founder's Favorite is the only one worth the time! randome Sep 2014 #285

Good on ya old boy libodem Sep 2014 #91

The gender of an attacker is irrelevant to me. Xithras Sep 2014 #94

Sounds benovolently sexist (nt) The Straight Story Sep 2014 #96

It only sounds that way to the MRA gang. trumad Sep 2014 #97

I have to disagree with you there. DeadLetterOffice Sep 2014 #204

well... domestic violence is big news lately. .. trumad Sep 2014 #208

As you wish. DeadLetterOffice Sep 2014 #215

well-said Vattel Sep 2014 #220

This is a very sexist and also contradictory post WestSideStory Sep 2014 #100

really? trumad Sep 2014 #103

Reasons WestSideStory Sep 2014 #105

Nice try trumad Sep 2014 #112

So many deletions and accusations. IDK why a simple OP is trashed. This pegs the: freshwest Sep 2014 #233

Oh I know why... trumad Sep 2014 #234

. Iggo Sep 2014 #101

Thank you. Unless she's got a weapon, she's not going to do a lot of damage Warpy Sep 2014 #106

I've made it perfectly clear in this thread trumad Sep 2014 #116

I sure as hell ain't going to do like some cops. LiberalFighter Sep 2014 #108

my late husband's first wife used to hit and scratch him. he DesertFlower Sep 2014 #111

I was raised to be a gentleman and paid for it in the last year of middle school. LiberalArkie Sep 2014 #114

So I can gladly kick your ass? RiffRandell Sep 2014 #122

Well I wouldn't let you... trumad Sep 2014 #124

That's probably wise. RiffRandell Sep 2014 #153

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #128

Tempting, but I don't think admins will go for it. RiffRandell Sep 2014 #154

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #158

Well that sucks. RiffRandell Sep 2014 #159

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #160

I'm the same way steve2470 Sep 2014 #127

Paging DUer, Skittles. Ordering up an ass kicking for trumad... madinmaryland Sep 2014 #130

I really am of two minds about this. DemocratSinceBirth Sep 2014 #133

That's your call trumad Sep 2014 #134

You were in the armed forces I believe and I respect that. DemocratSinceBirth Sep 2014 #135

Again I'm fascinated by some here... trumad Sep 2014 #137

I don't know what I would do in that situation DemocratSinceBirth Sep 2014 #139

sure trumad Sep 2014 #140

Years ago a woman at a gas station approached me and kept punching my face. ZombieHorde Sep 2014 #138

wow, I admire your self-restraint steve2470 Sep 2014 #167

I disagree Prophet 451 Sep 2014 #141

If ANYONE Lays Hands on Me Wolf Frankula Sep 2014 #144

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #146

I would, under the right circumstances. Adrahil Sep 2014 #148

Would you do the same if a man was hitting you? Kaleva Sep 2014 #149

What if she had one of these on her face? Would you hit her then? randome Sep 2014 #150

It appears, for some, a supinistic masochistic experience is worth it. AngryAmish Sep 2014 #155

I just saw/read this post and I've learned one thing.: If you say it's wrong to hit a woman,... BlueJazz Sep 2014 #156

Suit yourself. I defend myself. closeupready Sep 2014 #157

What's the point of this OP? NaturalHigh Sep 2014 #163

It's one in a long line of "look at me" posts. Bonobo Sep 2014 #169

Yes, I've noticed that. NaturalHigh Sep 2014 #171

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #172

Oh lookie.. trumad Sep 2014 #173

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #174

check your archive.. trumad Sep 2014 #177

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #181

Missed a day on your spreadsheets? R B Garr Sep 2014 #178

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #184

I was busy in real life when you made your post. You know...real life. R B Garr Sep 2014 #197

Say, what are the odds R B Garr Sep 2014 #176

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #179

A learning experience. Rex Sep 2014 #182

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Sep 2014 #187

I see. So he toggles back and forth from DU R B Garr Sep 2014 #194

I see in my minds eye, someone hitting the alert button over and over again. Rex Sep 2014 #205

Wrong place nt Bonobo Sep 2014 #191

it's always cheap attention seeking with that guy. dionysus Sep 2014 #202

How am I better than thee? Let me count the ways... That's the point. cherokeeprogressive Sep 2014 #189

I always wear shoes I can run in. I have a few sordid stories too. hunter Sep 2014 #168

What if "a woman" pulled a weapon on you? U4ikLefty Sep 2014 #170

Fascinating thread ismnotwasm Sep 2014 #183

I am short, very obese and just enough of a bitch. If I were to hit you - you would not hit back. KentuckyWoman Sep 2014 #185

I promise you I would not hit you back. trumad Sep 2014 #186

I wouldn't either. Not even a smaller man. Bonobo Sep 2014 #192

Frazier's style wasn't effective against tall power hitters. NaturalHigh Sep 2014 #224

True, but against shorter women, it would be perfect. Bonobo Sep 2014 #229

Would you hit a man back? elias7 Sep 2014 #193

Well then grab yourself a cookie, there, son. nt Dreamer Tatum Sep 2014 #198

I don't get gaspee Sep 2014 #200

Excuse me. DeadLetterOffice Sep 2014 #209

More deliberate obtuseness gaspee Sep 2014 #307

Are you having comprehension problems today? DeadLetterOffice Sep 2014 #308

I would like to say I'm stunned by the comments in this thread trumad Sep 2014 #210

I probably wouldn't either. Not for any noble reasons though. LostInAnomie Sep 2014 #225

You have a good point there. NaturalHigh Sep 2014 #226

Yup. Look what happened to Alan Grayson on DU. closeupready Sep 2014 #248

For me it's about proportion. joshcryer Sep 2014 #230

I am kind of fearful for one of the smaller guys at work nolabels Sep 2014 #238

If I were a male and a female was hitting me and the female was a valerief Sep 2014 #231

Ah, but some chimpanzees can be reasoned with. randome Sep 2014 #250

It wouldn't appear so. valerief Sep 2014 #295

When fleeing violence is an option, I recommend it. Orsino Sep 2014 #240

Really shocked at so many of the replies. NCTraveler Sep 2014 #243

IMO Mr Dixon Sep 2014 #244

Same here... Though there are some circumstances where I would run the f... away Xyzse Sep 2014 #251

what about a guy with glasses? Enrique Sep 2014 #252

What about a rock star with glasses? randome Sep 2014 #253

fair game Enrique Sep 2014 #260

I've been in that situation JonLP24 Sep 2014 #255

I get that there are crazy ass females out there who can scare the shit out of you. trumad Sep 2014 #261

She isn't crazy as far as I would say JonLP24 Sep 2014 #265

What noble gender bias you have. TheKentuckian Sep 2014 #267

If a child hits me there is no way I am hitting him or her back, no way... DemocratSinceBirth Sep 2014 #268

Define child joeglow3 Sep 2014 #290

Yes, of course. That's applying logic which is 100% consistent closeupready Sep 2014 #291

no. it means you understand the difference in size and strength. seabeyond Sep 2014 #293

Depends on the severity of the blows. dilby Sep 2014 #294

This has been a fun thread. LanternWaste Sep 2014 #296

Actually hitting teh womens is considered "equality" to some trumad Sep 2014 #300

The deletions crack me up! demmiblue Sep 2014 #316

This is smart. Mojo Electro Sep 2014 #301

Yeah us poor men. trumad Sep 2014 #302

What I taught my son ginnyinWI Sep 2014 #304

Question GummyBearz Sep 2014 #309

No I'd be dead. trumad Sep 2014 #312

Get less myopic GummyBearz Sep 2014 #315

How about, in any #%^*ty situation MannyGoldstein Sep 2014 #311

So, did this thread devolve into looking for an excuse to hit a woman? Iggo Sep 2014 #314

Eight rationalizations to strike a female in this thread by my count. LanternWaste Oct 2014 #319

Never fails. Iggo Oct 2014 #321

Now it's nine. Iggo Oct 2014 #325

That happened after the sanctimonious proclamation mythology Oct 2014 #324

But it did happen. Iggo Oct 2014 #326

If someone is posting a "look at me" holier-than=thou thread.....I still won't read it. brooklynite Oct 2014 #320

May one safely presume you read this OP, then? LanternWaste Oct 2014 #323

I've hit a woman once in my life. skypilot Oct 2014 #322