This Is A Tough One Folks... But What's Your Best Guess... As To What Is Gonna Doom Us

[Whiskeytide]

7. I think ISIS will establish a base...

... in Antarctica. The MIC will lobby for a bombing run with new, sophisticated weaponry which will accidentally accelerate climate change by melting copious amounts of snow and permafrost. An up til then unknown, but highly contagious, form of Ebola will be let loose from its frozen, dormant state and will begin spreading in a pandemic - Aggressive countermeasures will be stymied in the Republican controlled Congress - placed into power by ignorant voters - so as not to give Obama any credit, and also to prevent a market crash and the loss of Billions on Citrus futures. Future generations of human mutants will study these events from the Asteroid Weyralfuctd, which struck the Earth at the height of the pandemic, thereby interplanetarily transferring our species to its new home.

So, actually - the Asteroid's going to save us.