General Discussion

RC

(25,592 posts)

16. You're a woman, so if your think about sex,

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:49 PM

Apr 2012

you are morally depraved. Only white Republican men can do that without being depraved. All you Liberals are gonna go ta Hell!
If you say your are pregnant and they test you and you are not, you will be charged with murder for the abortion.
If you are 90 or something, have sex and don't give birth, you are assumed to be over due. You must submit to a forced birth, not to be confused with an abortion.
Being a woman, you need to know how to cook and keep the kitchen floor clean. (barefoot, ya know) Helps keep your mind off sex and depravity. Never mind being preggers most of the time.

For those missing the sarcasm gene -

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Ok so I'm thinking of getting pregnant. Does that make me pregnant in Arizona? [View all] MichiganVote Apr 2012 OP

Heheh! GreenPartyVoter Apr 2012 #1

Absolutely. Even if you weren't thinking Roselma Apr 2012 #2

Oh cool then we can all apply for the Family Leave thing. Let's do it! MichiganVote Apr 2012 #8

LOL! nt avebury Apr 2012 #3

You are only pregnant if you are between menstrual periods. Once you are bleeding, then you must uppityperson Apr 2012 #4

Oh fuck that's too much work. Can't I just be a slut instead? MichiganVote Apr 2012 #9

Sure, slut on! uppityperson Apr 2012 #18

Well hell it worked in HS, why change now? MichiganVote Apr 2012 #20

Counting how many times I could've been pregnant, according to this law, I didn't have uppityperson Apr 2012 #23

God didn't think of that. Well another reason I'm going to Hell. Oh well. MichiganVote Apr 2012 #26

LMAO! Kath1 Apr 2012 #49

Well, when was your last period? If you arthritisR_US Apr 2012 #5

Ok but I'm not exactly sure that the period really happened in Arizona. I travel. MichiganVote Apr 2012 #11

I would tink the minute you hit Arizona air space arthritisR_US Apr 2012 #38

You know I think that baked face Jan Brewer has a thing for me. MichiganVote Apr 2012 #41

She's an odd duck, that one. Her god complex arthritisR_US Apr 2012 #47

You probably already qualify for prenatal assistance. Downwinder Apr 2012 #6

And food stamps! My boys will be so pleased. MichiganVote Apr 2012 #33

I've heard you can get pregnant in Arizona just by sharing bathwater with your brothers Major Nikon Apr 2012 #7

I believe it. They think of sex all the time. Its "normal" for them you know. MichiganVote Apr 2012 #10

Congratulations! ornotna Apr 2012 #12

That's a good question. In China they only want the boy things. So if MichiganVote Apr 2012 #15

just keep pumping out those babies ladies!!! fascisthunter Apr 2012 #13

You were 'pregnant' 2 weeks ago! elleng Apr 2012 #14

Really? Well shit, and I got drunk last weekend. MichiganVote Apr 2012 #17

You're a woman, so if your think about sex, RC Apr 2012 #16

Oh man, can't wait for such a fulfilling life! MichiganVote Apr 2012 #19

I'm menstruating... Lucy Goosey Apr 2012 #21

LOL LOL LOL!! Your post caused me to seriously laugh the fuck out loud! MichiganVote Apr 2012 #24

If they had their way. It probably does. LiberalFighter Apr 2012 #52

I don't know but I am absolutely sure that Cardinal Dolan chieftain Apr 2012 #22

Mortal sins are just so cool for drama. The little venial signs are babies. MichiganVote Apr 2012 #25

Yes, you are officially pregnant! Kath1 Apr 2012 #27

Yup. An entire state legislature have fucked me and made me pregnant! YES! YES! MichiganVote Apr 2012 #30

Yes, they did. Kath1 Apr 2012 #37

If you have met the guy quaker bill Apr 2012 #28

Oh baby, I'm thinkin' of taking on the entire Ariz. legislature for fun MichiganVote Apr 2012 #31

Then he is the daddy quaker bill Apr 2012 #56

So you finally figured out how to do it without us, huh? bluedigger Apr 2012 #29

-----> jillan Apr 2012 #32

But move to Michigan and you can have an emergency manager! MichiganVote Apr 2012 #34

You know what sucks? That whole area by Benton Harbor is one of my favorite areas to vacation. jillan Apr 2012 #35

I love Michigan too, sadly, its in sorry trouble and NOT b/c of jobs. MichiganVote Apr 2012 #36

I think it's called an immaculate contraption.... Permanut Apr 2012 #39

Correct terms are necessary for our dignity MichiganVote Apr 2012 #43

You're overdue for your slutwalk of shame to your nearest GOP pol's mysogenicological office pinboy3niner Apr 2012 #40

Well I DO need some time to decide what to wear you know. MichiganVote Apr 2012 #42

LOL! Kath1 Apr 2012 #44

I'm just hoping to emulate Saint Ann of the Mormons Kath. You know, the do it right thing. MichiganVote Apr 2012 #45

I don't know a damn thing about Saint Ann... Kath1 Apr 2012 #46

Wow matt819 Apr 2012 #48

According to Arizona Law, I am probably pregnant too jmowreader Apr 2012 #50

Yes you are, and if you change your mind you're a murderer! Egalitarian Thug Apr 2012 #51

If you are thinking of getting preggers you best be married first SydBAThule Apr 2012 #53

You're "Schroedinger's-Pregnant." eShirl Apr 2012 #54

Love it!!! etherealtruth Apr 2012 #55

So is there a buzzer or something in the womb that announces the start of the mission? MichiganVote Apr 2012 #59

Please take your shoes off. They also want you to be barefoot. blue neen Apr 2012 #57

If you are a mentruating female Sheepshank Apr 2012 #58