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ZombieHorde

(29,047 posts)

16. There are some things you can control.

Reply to RandySF (Original post)

Sun Oct 5, 2014, 10:41 PM

Oct 2014

If she has decent hospice care, then family input should be a big consideration. The amount of morphine she receives can often be influenced, and her O2 levels can be adjusted. Increasing morphine can increase comfort and the pace of death. Increasing O2 increases comfort but delays death.

My wife and I were helping a woman die about a month ago. My wife wanted to decrease her O2 to hasten her death, but the patient's son wanted the O2 turned up to increase comfort. We just let him control the dial. We put a pulse oximeter on her finger and let the son make adjustments based on her O2 readings.

Unfortunately, some healthcare workers are also control freaks, and they may not let you do anything.

I wish you and your loved ones peace.

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Highlight:

It sucks being a control freak while my mom is slipping away. [View all] RandySF Oct 2014 OP

I feel you, my dad died the middle of September. giftedgirl77 Oct 2014 #1

Just being there is doing something! Peace to you and your family. logosoco Oct 2014 #2

I am so sorry, my dear RandySF... CaliforniaPeggy Oct 2014 #3

I totally understand. My mother died a year ago August, we were with her for the final 3 months. peacebird Oct 2014 #4

Mercy shenmue Oct 2014 #5

Totally understand, it is part of human nature, and happens to all I believe,,, benld74 Oct 2014 #6

I'm sorry, Randy. brer cat Oct 2014 #7

I was in the same position 2 and a half years ago; I learned humility. snappyturtle Oct 2014 #8

I can completely understand since I've been there, too. Rhiannon12866 Oct 2014 #9

Yes, it does. If you're grieving and trying to be there for her and others all at once, you're being ancianita Oct 2014 #10

Sorry to hear this...yes, it's weird knowing you have no control at all.. joeybee12 Oct 2014 #11

Randy...... TinkerTot55 Oct 2014 #12

Dear Randy.. re-read response #2 above. annabanana Oct 2014 #13

So sorry, RandySF! pnwmom Oct 2014 #14

((Randy)) irisblue Oct 2014 #15

There are some things you can control. ZombieHorde Oct 2014 #16

i'm so sorry. I wish you & your family peace. Triana Oct 2014 #17

I am sorry. Be patient with yourself. Letting someone go knowing you won't see them again is liberal_at_heart Oct 2014 #18

sometimes i think that all smile are paid for in tears. mopinko Oct 2014 #19

Understand. Hugs to you. 840high Oct 2014 #20

I rec'd shortly after you posted this, did not know what to say. I still don't, but have been uppityperson Oct 2014 #21

Randy Iwillnevergiveup Oct 2014 #22

Sweet son, you have many kindred souls here..... nc4bo Oct 2014 #23

The thing you can do is give love, kindness, patience, hold her hand, if she wants, Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #24

My sincere empathy goes out to you Mira Oct 2014 #25

:grouphug: WillyT Oct 2014 #26

Death will come for us all, eventually Mister Nightowl Oct 2014 #27

my brother is slipping away as we speak. spanone Oct 2014 #28

She knows you are there for her, and remember, you are her legacy TheNutcracker Oct 2014 #29

... Mnemosyne Oct 2014 #30

Kicking because one of us is in pain.... nc4bo Oct 2014 #31