General Discussion

cali

(114,904 posts)

57. 15 and 13. and we are hearing one side.

Reply to sibelian (Original post)

Mon Dec 1, 2014, 04:20 AM

Dec 2014

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

212 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

"A letter to … the girl who accused me of rape when I was 15" [View all] sibelian Nov 2014 OP

That is heartbreaking... ScreamingMeemie Nov 2014 #1

I have three boys joeglow3 Nov 2014 #3

Having two sons, we have had discussions about this, yet I have never feared seabeyond Nov 2014 #6

Because it happened to my husband, I have an (perhaps) irrational fear it ScreamingMeemie Nov 2014 #44

I hear ya. seabeyond Dec 2014 #45

I have the same fears you do Bettie Dec 2014 #91

this is the thing. to report a rape, a girl is given shame, humiliation, and more. more than any seabeyond Dec 2014 #99

I think some also forget that the vast majority of rape cases Bettie Dec 2014 #102

exactly. and for anyone to be ok, with a 13 yr old sleep over with booze, in this situation. seabeyond Dec 2014 #103

I've raised 3 boys FreakinDJ Dec 2014 #56

really? about three to four percent of rapes actually acquire prison time. across the nation, seabeyond Dec 2014 #100

Those "Stats" only hold true if you reinterpret the definition of "Rape" FreakinDJ Dec 2014 #161

What definition of "rape" do you mean? I am confused by what you mean, if you'd uppityperson Dec 2014 #165

Are we back to "legitimate rape" semantic games? nt geek tragedy Dec 2014 #175

not sure about the definition hfojvt Dec 2014 #181

interesting piece olddots Nov 2014 #2

Not so rare. What do you think the point of the OP is? bluesbassman Nov 2014 #5

It's not at all clear that the OP was an instance of a false rape allegation. Gormy Cuss Dec 2014 #180

Its not that rare Chipala Nov 2014 #21

So you think women are a bunch of liars who geek tragedy Nov 2014 #22

Nice straw man... MadDAsHell Dec 2014 #55

The complaint about child support was a dead giveaway. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #68

I'm not sure I agree with the position you're taking on this issue... MadDAsHell Dec 2014 #104

As I said to someone else, it's like shark attacks. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #107

But you didn't take the approach of just saying it's a minor problem... MadDAsHell Dec 2014 #116

That person had the laundry list of MRA grievances. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #127

Yet another OP on a very rare problem. geek tragedy Nov 2014 #4

You must have missed the posts about death row mistakes... TreasonousBastard Nov 2014 #7

Just a coincidence that those who post this stuff geek tragedy Nov 2014 #9

The poster is someone who wants to ignore a problem Drale Nov 2014 #29

False rape charges are not a serious problem for society. geek tragedy Nov 2014 #32

Wow. What bullshit. False rape charges are a VERY serious problem. closeupready Nov 2014 #39

Just like shark attacks are a serious problem. geek tragedy Nov 2014 #41

False rape per FBI and Scottland yard 2-3%. Scottland yard has it closer to 2%. seabeyond Dec 2014 #46

They're aren't that much of a problem for those who file the false charges. Mojo Electro Dec 2014 #166

In The Goodbye Girl, if you saw that 70's film, Marsha Mason's closeupready Dec 2014 #167

And even easier to get by with actual rape n/t eridani Dec 2014 #170

MRA horseshit. Peddle that garbage at DI. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #176

Occasionally rare issues do come up Shankapotomus Nov 2014 #8

DU doesn't have an arson brigade on either side snooper2 Nov 2014 #14

Does DU have a cross-burning and gay-bashing brigade or is it only geek tragedy Nov 2014 #16

thank you. nt seabeyond Nov 2014 #18

women and white men seem to be the #1 topic dejour, and the 1 PERCENT! snooper2 Dec 2014 #101

"Inner city violence" geek tragedy Dec 2014 #108

Look up Cameron Todd Willingham on DU and then delete your post Renew Deal Dec 2014 #93

That's the rapists side of the story mwrguy Nov 2014 #10

And you know this how? Shoulders of Giants Nov 2014 #11

He doesn't. nt AverageJoe90 Dec 2014 #48

because only a real rapist would deny committing rape Douglas Carpenter Dec 2014 #112

Good point pipi_k Nov 2014 #12

The entire point of this OP was to call a 13 year old girl geek tragedy Nov 2014 #23

Nobody called anybody "a lying slut," oh overheated one. Except you. Comrade Grumpy Nov 2014 #25

From the link: geek tragedy Nov 2014 #28

he said she lies, and had sex too "casually" ..... different choice of words, same meaning really. bettyellen Nov 2014 #33

Like the person pipi_k Nov 2014 #30

Cool story. geek tragedy Nov 2014 #31

In this situation... pipi_k Dec 2014 #119

So, lying 13 year old virgin seductresses geek tragedy Dec 2014 #128

So telling the police about it will solve that? treestar Dec 2014 #62

Never say, pipi_k Dec 2014 #122

I know someone who was falsely accused as a teen as well. moriah Nov 2014 #36

Society's willingness to believe rape/sexual assault geek tragedy Nov 2014 #42

Yeah. Honestly, why is it such an issue to some to admit that this kinda thing happens? AverageJoe90 Dec 2014 #49

WHO has the issue with teen consentual sex? seabeyond Dec 2014 #196

Talk about missing the point.....nt AverageJoe90 Dec 2014 #209

"why is it such an issue to some to admit that this kinda thing happens?" who? seabeyond Dec 2014 #211

You can't be fucking serious. AverageJoe90 Dec 2014 #212

Wow. Was it really necessary to introduce the word "slut" into this discussion? (nt) Nye Bevan Nov 2014 #43

When all else fails start throwing bombs. LostInAnomie Dec 2014 #52

It'll make it easier when he doubles down and calls the letter writer an asshole and a pig. n/m ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2014 #58

Here is what the totally non-misogynist letter writer wrote: geek tragedy Dec 2014 #65

And note the way he said it Bettie Dec 2014 #105

a year or more ago, we had two posters, admit to rape in their youth. seabeyond Dec 2014 #109

You are right...parents did fail here Bettie Dec 2014 #113

Actually it doesn't use either lying or slut mythology Dec 2014 #131

No, he doesn't use those specific words Bettie Dec 2014 #148

"lying slut." Who said that? Is that allowed? Eleanors38 Dec 2014 #50

The author of the guardian piece: geek tragedy Dec 2014 #63

You keep posting that excerpt, but I don't see the word "slut" (nt) Nye Bevan Dec 2014 #74

go ahead and parse out the author's characterization that a drunk 13 year old girl geek tragedy Dec 2014 #76

Doesn't look like "lying slut" to me. Rather, an Eleanors38 Dec 2014 #86

"accurate summation of her actions." geek tragedy Dec 2014 #87

Ah, guilt-association, the usual end result of this Eleanors38 Dec 2014 #89

This isn't guilt by association. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #90

You are SUCH a hoot. nt Eleanors38 Dec 2014 #95

I didn't get that sense from the letter el_bryanto Dec 2014 #96

The whole thing was full of resentment towards geek tragedy Dec 2014 #106

When you say off - you mean false? You think the author el_bryanto Dec 2014 #111

Doesn't add up or seem credible. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #124

so in your theory - there was no rape accusation/situation el_bryanto Dec 2014 #130

That seems most plausible. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #132

Well the anonymity stands in the way of resolving it to any great extent el_bryanto Dec 2014 #133

Now, see, I thought the purpose was to "blame" her for "turning" him gay.... MADem Dec 2014 #156

From the language you use in your post tritsofme Nov 2014 #13

nevertheless the poster is right that we only have one side treestar Dec 2014 #66

And that is really the only correct response. The Guardian seems to have a bunch of "Letter to" stevenleser Dec 2014 #140

... tammywammy Nov 2014 #15

Do you think it would be fair to describe this as pure, unmitigated trolling? N.T. Donald Ian Rankin Dec 2014 #61

You are part of the problem this victim describes Renew Deal Dec 2014 #94

This is b.s. Ino Nov 2014 #17

There are reasons for statutory rape laws Wella Nov 2014 #19

Its statutory rape if the accused is an adult or the ages are further apart. Chipala Nov 2014 #24

Technically, it's statutory rape if accused is an adult... Ino Nov 2014 #35

that young is not normal treestar Dec 2014 #64

Unless she's been sheltered beyond belief, yes, she knows exactly what she's consenting to. moriah Dec 2014 #152

Nature disagrees with you Trillo Dec 2014 #155

Puberty does indeed occur earlier eridani Dec 2014 #171

Once a girl gets heavy enough she begins to have periods AngryAmish Dec 2014 #178

I was raped myself as a 20-year-old latebloomer Nov 2014 #20

I knew someone this happened to. Mz Pip Nov 2014 #26

What it absolutely is is a warning to young men never to engage in casual sex with young teenagers. hedgehog Nov 2014 #27

this letter no doubt leaves out some key allegations, such as the threat of harm if she screamed. unblock Nov 2014 #34

What a terrible story... NaturalHigh Nov 2014 #37

Same way it was predictable that people such as yourself geek tragedy Dec 2014 #67

Is there some particular reason you don't believe the story? NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #69

Because anonymous tales of malicious, lying 13 year old virgin seductresses are generally bullshit. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #70

I sure wish I had your psychic powers. NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #115

Yes this does happen malaise Nov 2014 #38

The girl in the story was 13. LisaL Nov 2014 #40

He was one year older. Why is it hard to feel sorry for him? Marr Dec 2014 #51

why is it so easy to believe when you only have one side of the story? cali Dec 2014 #73

Do you believe the UVA rape story? AngryAmish Dec 2014 #80

I don't know enough about it to make a judgment cali Dec 2014 #83

I didn't say I believed it. Marr Dec 2014 #120

Two Actually erpowers Dec 2014 #97

One year and two months, according to the story. Marr Dec 2014 #118

One year and FOUR months, according to the story Ino Dec 2014 #157

My mistake-- four months. But the point is unchanged. /nt Marr Dec 2014 #164

Except... Ino Dec 2014 #183

Then why say two years? Marr Dec 2014 #186

I'm not the poster who said two years... Ino Dec 2014 #208

13 year old girl can not consent. LisaL Dec 2014 #98

In many states a 15 year old cannot consent either, correct? nt kelly1mm Dec 2014 #117

I disagree, Lisa. There are reasons for "Romeo and Juliet" laws. moriah Dec 2014 #143

So in your view it's o'key to have sex with a 13 year old girl who apparently also was drunk? LisaL Dec 2014 #185

I'm not a 15-year-old boy, so no, I don't think I should screw 13-year-old girls. moriah Dec 2014 #187

Well, 15 isn't exactly pipi_k Dec 2014 #123

"They can't control their emotions. They can't control their libidos." beg to differ, and not fact seabeyond Dec 2014 #125

So an adult woman screwing a 15-year-old boy is okay to you? moriah Dec 2014 #137

really? i am challenging boys not having control over libido and that means adult women seabeyond Dec 2014 #138

I was hoping you'd acknowledge that at 15 they are not in the adult category for control over that. moriah Dec 2014 #139

Now you want to chat about how I feel a 13 yr old and 15 consensual ly having sex? seabeyond Dec 2014 #142

Because according to the story, the age difference was a reason they were arresting him. moriah Dec 2014 #145

I have not addressed any of this in any of my posts in this thread. Nt seabeyond Dec 2014 #150

You responded to a person saying that 15 wasn't the same as 25 by disagreeing. n/t moriah Dec 2014 #154

no. for like the third time. i copied and pasted her words. boys cant control their libido. seabeyond Dec 2014 #184

Poor guy. Letter is a tad harsh at the end, but..... AverageJoe90 Dec 2014 #47

Uh..... Derek V Dec 2014 #53

False accusations do happen Prophet 451 Dec 2014 #54

I think the answer is clear. We should listen through walls more n/t kcr Dec 2014 #144

15 and 13. and we are hearing one side. cali Dec 2014 #57

We all know (or should know) how often rape victims are disbelieved. nomorenomore08 Dec 2014 #59

why are so many in this thread accepting this as gospel truth? cali Dec 2014 #60

Answer: confirmation bias. nt geek tragedy Dec 2014 #71

that seems to be the most logical answer. cali Dec 2014 #72

note how the author was supposedly drunk off his ass but remembers every single detail geek tragedy Dec 2014 #75

Stating that an experience like this can turn someone gay is unmitigated horseshit eridani Dec 2014 #173

+1 nt geek tragedy Dec 2014 #174

I can only speak for myself... ScreamingMeemie Dec 2014 #77

You certainly have been thoughtful and rational in your discussion here geek tragedy Dec 2014 #78

Thank you greek... ScreamingMeemie Dec 2014 #79

...vs assuming dishonesty Union Scribe Dec 2014 #149

What "opposing bias" would that be? geek tragedy Dec 2014 #151

You dont seem to require the other side of the story with the Cosby allegations davidn3600 Dec 2014 #153

There aren't two sides to the Cosby scandal. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #158

The reactions are letter C on the following confirmation bias options: chrisa Dec 2014 #163

I'll call it: this letter is a fabrication and a work of fiction. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #81

Has this guy ever considered what he took for consent actually wasn't? RedCappedBandit Dec 2014 #82

This is possible. LWolf Dec 2014 #84

When it comes to rape accusations...you are guilty until proven innocent davidn3600 Dec 2014 #85

so your stance is that men being accused of rape is a bigger problem than men geek tragedy Dec 2014 #88

My stance is that rape is a crime, and like all crimes they must be proven beyond a reasonable doubt davidn3600 Dec 2014 #92

I disagree that it's better to have 100 rapists on the geek tragedy Dec 2014 #126

the poster says this often. i cannot fathom the need to repeatedly state a 100 rapists seabeyond Dec 2014 #129

You are taking the quote too literally... davidn3600 Dec 2014 #141

No. I am not gonna hunt past post, but no. I am not. Your position has benn made clear seabeyond Dec 2014 #146

I feel sorry for the one innocent guy you are willing to sacrifice. NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #182

In the legal system, nearly true. In college, literally true. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2014 #168

The Guardian shouldn't host MRA fanfiction and neither should DU. LeftyMom Dec 2014 #110

Posting "false rape/sexual assault allegation" stories should be against the DU rules. hughee99 Dec 2014 #134

Absolutely! And let's ban some more topics we don't want to see... NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #169

Mine actually was as well... hughee99 Dec 2014 #188

Oops. Sorry about that. NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #189

I understand, that's basically what I was responding to as well hughee99 Dec 2014 #207

So many people jumping to conclusions in this thread. Odin2005 Dec 2014 #114

Apparently, so did the person who wrote the piece. Claiming that a 2-year age difference was.... moriah Dec 2014 #135

I call bullshit on this bullshit. LexVegas Dec 2014 #121

I smell bullshit. Maybe I just have a cold. Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2014 #136

Me too. Doesn't help that the letter-writer got paid for it. seaglass Dec 2014 #160

Perhaps he should be angry at his fellow males Matrosov Dec 2014 #147

And the poster has of course not returned MattBaggins Dec 2014 #159

Bingo !!!! Rhinodawg Dec 2014 #162

One time, at band camp... Starry Messenger Dec 2014 #172

Are you happy now sibelian? seaglass Dec 2014 #177

wow. so the purpose was a flamebait thread and sit with buddies to laugh at duers? seabeyond Dec 2014 #190

well, those posts were about a different topic but the mindset is the same. seaglass Dec 2014 #191

ah. thanks. seabeyond Dec 2014 #192

I doubt very seriously this is a "flamebait thread and sit with buddies to laugh at duers"... NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #193

It's not an op-ed piece it's a paid letter to the editor. Of course it was posted as flamebait. n/t seaglass Dec 2014 #194

You are welcome to your opinion, of course. NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #197

as we tell republicans. there is a difference between fact and opinion. right? seabeyond Dec 2014 #199

Yes there is. NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #202

omg. lol. ok. well. i am done. i made my points. i have no need for a back and forth seabeyond Dec 2014 #203

Fair enough. NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #204

Why wouldn't you be allowed to have an opinion? I'm just pointing out that it was not an op-ed seaglass Dec 2014 #205

1. i did think/discuss evident by my posts. 2. obviously i take this seriously, hence, seabeyond Dec 2014 #195

Oh yes, I "see how some like to redefine posters." NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #198

yet, you did not acknowledge your errors i pointed out. seabeyond Dec 2014 #200

From what little I understood of your reply... NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #201

I wonder if ... 1StrongBlackMan Dec 2014 #179

sometimes I wish we could hear ... Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2014 #210

The fact that a problem is "rare" does not mitigate its seriousness bluestateguy Dec 2014 #206