General Discussion

moriah

(8,312 posts)

145. Because according to the story, the age difference was a reason they were arresting him.

Mon Dec 1, 2014, 01:14 PM

Dec 2014

It may not have been "the" reason, but at the end of the story and at the beginning it looks like they went by the ages of the parties as factors in charges.

If the victim had continued to say it was not consensual, if she *ever* said that (because the guy focused so much on age, I wonder if that was ever said), there would have been a trial.

But I'm sick of people trying to say that a 15-year-old is so much more powerful and in control of their emotions just because they might be the older party, and not by a great deal. If you see, this went up to the comment from LisaL that because the victim was 13 she didn't feel sorry for the alleged perp at all, even though he was only one year and four months older.

The person you responded to said that 15-year-olds aren't much more knowledgable and powerful than 13-year-olds. You disagreed, which is why I posted. I think maybe now you can see my logic in the questions I'm asking?

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"A letter to … the girl who accused me of rape when I was 15" [View all] sibelian Nov 2014 OP

That is heartbreaking... ScreamingMeemie Nov 2014 #1

I have three boys joeglow3 Nov 2014 #3

Having two sons, we have had discussions about this, yet I have never feared seabeyond Nov 2014 #6

Because it happened to my husband, I have an (perhaps) irrational fear it ScreamingMeemie Nov 2014 #44

I hear ya. seabeyond Dec 2014 #45

I have the same fears you do Bettie Dec 2014 #91

this is the thing. to report a rape, a girl is given shame, humiliation, and more. more than any seabeyond Dec 2014 #99

I think some also forget that the vast majority of rape cases Bettie Dec 2014 #102

exactly. and for anyone to be ok, with a 13 yr old sleep over with booze, in this situation. seabeyond Dec 2014 #103

I've raised 3 boys FreakinDJ Dec 2014 #56

really? about three to four percent of rapes actually acquire prison time. across the nation, seabeyond Dec 2014 #100

Those "Stats" only hold true if you reinterpret the definition of "Rape" FreakinDJ Dec 2014 #161

What definition of "rape" do you mean? I am confused by what you mean, if you'd uppityperson Dec 2014 #165

Are we back to "legitimate rape" semantic games? nt geek tragedy Dec 2014 #175

not sure about the definition hfojvt Dec 2014 #181

interesting piece olddots Nov 2014 #2

Not so rare. What do you think the point of the OP is? bluesbassman Nov 2014 #5

It's not at all clear that the OP was an instance of a false rape allegation. Gormy Cuss Dec 2014 #180

Its not that rare Chipala Nov 2014 #21

So you think women are a bunch of liars who geek tragedy Nov 2014 #22

Nice straw man... MadDAsHell Dec 2014 #55

The complaint about child support was a dead giveaway. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #68

I'm not sure I agree with the position you're taking on this issue... MadDAsHell Dec 2014 #104

As I said to someone else, it's like shark attacks. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #107

But you didn't take the approach of just saying it's a minor problem... MadDAsHell Dec 2014 #116

That person had the laundry list of MRA grievances. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #127

Yet another OP on a very rare problem. geek tragedy Nov 2014 #4

You must have missed the posts about death row mistakes... TreasonousBastard Nov 2014 #7

Just a coincidence that those who post this stuff geek tragedy Nov 2014 #9

The poster is someone who wants to ignore a problem Drale Nov 2014 #29

False rape charges are not a serious problem for society. geek tragedy Nov 2014 #32

Wow. What bullshit. False rape charges are a VERY serious problem. closeupready Nov 2014 #39

Just like shark attacks are a serious problem. geek tragedy Nov 2014 #41

False rape per FBI and Scottland yard 2-3%. Scottland yard has it closer to 2%. seabeyond Dec 2014 #46

They're aren't that much of a problem for those who file the false charges. Mojo Electro Dec 2014 #166

In The Goodbye Girl, if you saw that 70's film, Marsha Mason's closeupready Dec 2014 #167

And even easier to get by with actual rape n/t eridani Dec 2014 #170

MRA horseshit. Peddle that garbage at DI. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #176

Occasionally rare issues do come up Shankapotomus Nov 2014 #8

DU doesn't have an arson brigade on either side snooper2 Nov 2014 #14

Does DU have a cross-burning and gay-bashing brigade or is it only geek tragedy Nov 2014 #16

thank you. nt seabeyond Nov 2014 #18

women and white men seem to be the #1 topic dejour, and the 1 PERCENT! snooper2 Dec 2014 #101

"Inner city violence" geek tragedy Dec 2014 #108

Look up Cameron Todd Willingham on DU and then delete your post Renew Deal Dec 2014 #93

That's the rapists side of the story mwrguy Nov 2014 #10

And you know this how? Shoulders of Giants Nov 2014 #11

He doesn't. nt AverageJoe90 Dec 2014 #48

because only a real rapist would deny committing rape Douglas Carpenter Dec 2014 #112

Good point pipi_k Nov 2014 #12

The entire point of this OP was to call a 13 year old girl geek tragedy Nov 2014 #23

Nobody called anybody "a lying slut," oh overheated one. Except you. Comrade Grumpy Nov 2014 #25

From the link: geek tragedy Nov 2014 #28

he said she lies, and had sex too "casually" ..... different choice of words, same meaning really. bettyellen Nov 2014 #33

Like the person pipi_k Nov 2014 #30

Cool story. geek tragedy Nov 2014 #31

In this situation... pipi_k Dec 2014 #119

So, lying 13 year old virgin seductresses geek tragedy Dec 2014 #128

So telling the police about it will solve that? treestar Dec 2014 #62

Never say, pipi_k Dec 2014 #122

I know someone who was falsely accused as a teen as well. moriah Nov 2014 #36

Society's willingness to believe rape/sexual assault geek tragedy Nov 2014 #42

Yeah. Honestly, why is it such an issue to some to admit that this kinda thing happens? AverageJoe90 Dec 2014 #49

WHO has the issue with teen consentual sex? seabeyond Dec 2014 #196

Talk about missing the point.....nt AverageJoe90 Dec 2014 #209

"why is it such an issue to some to admit that this kinda thing happens?" who? seabeyond Dec 2014 #211

You can't be fucking serious. AverageJoe90 Dec 2014 #212

Wow. Was it really necessary to introduce the word "slut" into this discussion? (nt) Nye Bevan Nov 2014 #43

When all else fails start throwing bombs. LostInAnomie Dec 2014 #52

It'll make it easier when he doubles down and calls the letter writer an asshole and a pig. n/m ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2014 #58

Here is what the totally non-misogynist letter writer wrote: geek tragedy Dec 2014 #65

And note the way he said it Bettie Dec 2014 #105

a year or more ago, we had two posters, admit to rape in their youth. seabeyond Dec 2014 #109

You are right...parents did fail here Bettie Dec 2014 #113

Actually it doesn't use either lying or slut mythology Dec 2014 #131

No, he doesn't use those specific words Bettie Dec 2014 #148

"lying slut." Who said that? Is that allowed? Eleanors38 Dec 2014 #50

The author of the guardian piece: geek tragedy Dec 2014 #63

You keep posting that excerpt, but I don't see the word "slut" (nt) Nye Bevan Dec 2014 #74

go ahead and parse out the author's characterization that a drunk 13 year old girl geek tragedy Dec 2014 #76

Doesn't look like "lying slut" to me. Rather, an Eleanors38 Dec 2014 #86

"accurate summation of her actions." geek tragedy Dec 2014 #87

Ah, guilt-association, the usual end result of this Eleanors38 Dec 2014 #89

This isn't guilt by association. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #90

You are SUCH a hoot. nt Eleanors38 Dec 2014 #95

I didn't get that sense from the letter el_bryanto Dec 2014 #96

The whole thing was full of resentment towards geek tragedy Dec 2014 #106

When you say off - you mean false? You think the author el_bryanto Dec 2014 #111

Doesn't add up or seem credible. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #124

so in your theory - there was no rape accusation/situation el_bryanto Dec 2014 #130

That seems most plausible. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #132

Well the anonymity stands in the way of resolving it to any great extent el_bryanto Dec 2014 #133

Now, see, I thought the purpose was to "blame" her for "turning" him gay.... MADem Dec 2014 #156

From the language you use in your post tritsofme Nov 2014 #13

nevertheless the poster is right that we only have one side treestar Dec 2014 #66

And that is really the only correct response. The Guardian seems to have a bunch of "Letter to" stevenleser Dec 2014 #140

... tammywammy Nov 2014 #15

Do you think it would be fair to describe this as pure, unmitigated trolling? N.T. Donald Ian Rankin Dec 2014 #61

You are part of the problem this victim describes Renew Deal Dec 2014 #94

This is b.s. Ino Nov 2014 #17

There are reasons for statutory rape laws Wella Nov 2014 #19

Its statutory rape if the accused is an adult or the ages are further apart. Chipala Nov 2014 #24

Technically, it's statutory rape if accused is an adult... Ino Nov 2014 #35

that young is not normal treestar Dec 2014 #64

Unless she's been sheltered beyond belief, yes, she knows exactly what she's consenting to. moriah Dec 2014 #152

Nature disagrees with you Trillo Dec 2014 #155

Puberty does indeed occur earlier eridani Dec 2014 #171

Once a girl gets heavy enough she begins to have periods AngryAmish Dec 2014 #178

I was raped myself as a 20-year-old latebloomer Nov 2014 #20

I knew someone this happened to. Mz Pip Nov 2014 #26

What it absolutely is is a warning to young men never to engage in casual sex with young teenagers. hedgehog Nov 2014 #27

this letter no doubt leaves out some key allegations, such as the threat of harm if she screamed. unblock Nov 2014 #34

What a terrible story... NaturalHigh Nov 2014 #37

Same way it was predictable that people such as yourself geek tragedy Dec 2014 #67

Is there some particular reason you don't believe the story? NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #69

Because anonymous tales of malicious, lying 13 year old virgin seductresses are generally bullshit. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #70

I sure wish I had your psychic powers. NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #115

Yes this does happen malaise Nov 2014 #38

The girl in the story was 13. LisaL Nov 2014 #40

He was one year older. Why is it hard to feel sorry for him? Marr Dec 2014 #51

why is it so easy to believe when you only have one side of the story? cali Dec 2014 #73

Do you believe the UVA rape story? AngryAmish Dec 2014 #80

I don't know enough about it to make a judgment cali Dec 2014 #83

I didn't say I believed it. Marr Dec 2014 #120

Two Actually erpowers Dec 2014 #97

One year and two months, according to the story. Marr Dec 2014 #118

One year and FOUR months, according to the story Ino Dec 2014 #157

My mistake-- four months. But the point is unchanged. /nt Marr Dec 2014 #164

Except... Ino Dec 2014 #183

Then why say two years? Marr Dec 2014 #186

I'm not the poster who said two years... Ino Dec 2014 #208

13 year old girl can not consent. LisaL Dec 2014 #98

In many states a 15 year old cannot consent either, correct? nt kelly1mm Dec 2014 #117

I disagree, Lisa. There are reasons for "Romeo and Juliet" laws. moriah Dec 2014 #143

So in your view it's o'key to have sex with a 13 year old girl who apparently also was drunk? LisaL Dec 2014 #185

I'm not a 15-year-old boy, so no, I don't think I should screw 13-year-old girls. moriah Dec 2014 #187

Well, 15 isn't exactly pipi_k Dec 2014 #123

"They can't control their emotions. They can't control their libidos." beg to differ, and not fact seabeyond Dec 2014 #125

So an adult woman screwing a 15-year-old boy is okay to you? moriah Dec 2014 #137

really? i am challenging boys not having control over libido and that means adult women seabeyond Dec 2014 #138

I was hoping you'd acknowledge that at 15 they are not in the adult category for control over that. moriah Dec 2014 #139

Now you want to chat about how I feel a 13 yr old and 15 consensual ly having sex? seabeyond Dec 2014 #142

Because according to the story, the age difference was a reason they were arresting him. moriah Dec 2014 #145

I have not addressed any of this in any of my posts in this thread. Nt seabeyond Dec 2014 #150

You responded to a person saying that 15 wasn't the same as 25 by disagreeing. n/t moriah Dec 2014 #154

no. for like the third time. i copied and pasted her words. boys cant control their libido. seabeyond Dec 2014 #184

Poor guy. Letter is a tad harsh at the end, but..... AverageJoe90 Dec 2014 #47

Uh..... Derek V Dec 2014 #53

False accusations do happen Prophet 451 Dec 2014 #54

I think the answer is clear. We should listen through walls more n/t kcr Dec 2014 #144

15 and 13. and we are hearing one side. cali Dec 2014 #57

We all know (or should know) how often rape victims are disbelieved. nomorenomore08 Dec 2014 #59

why are so many in this thread accepting this as gospel truth? cali Dec 2014 #60

Answer: confirmation bias. nt geek tragedy Dec 2014 #71

that seems to be the most logical answer. cali Dec 2014 #72

note how the author was supposedly drunk off his ass but remembers every single detail geek tragedy Dec 2014 #75

Stating that an experience like this can turn someone gay is unmitigated horseshit eridani Dec 2014 #173

+1 nt geek tragedy Dec 2014 #174

I can only speak for myself... ScreamingMeemie Dec 2014 #77

You certainly have been thoughtful and rational in your discussion here geek tragedy Dec 2014 #78

Thank you greek... ScreamingMeemie Dec 2014 #79

...vs assuming dishonesty Union Scribe Dec 2014 #149

What "opposing bias" would that be? geek tragedy Dec 2014 #151

You dont seem to require the other side of the story with the Cosby allegations davidn3600 Dec 2014 #153

There aren't two sides to the Cosby scandal. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #158

The reactions are letter C on the following confirmation bias options: chrisa Dec 2014 #163

I'll call it: this letter is a fabrication and a work of fiction. geek tragedy Dec 2014 #81

Has this guy ever considered what he took for consent actually wasn't? RedCappedBandit Dec 2014 #82

This is possible. LWolf Dec 2014 #84

When it comes to rape accusations...you are guilty until proven innocent davidn3600 Dec 2014 #85

so your stance is that men being accused of rape is a bigger problem than men geek tragedy Dec 2014 #88

My stance is that rape is a crime, and like all crimes they must be proven beyond a reasonable doubt davidn3600 Dec 2014 #92

I disagree that it's better to have 100 rapists on the geek tragedy Dec 2014 #126

the poster says this often. i cannot fathom the need to repeatedly state a 100 rapists seabeyond Dec 2014 #129

You are taking the quote too literally... davidn3600 Dec 2014 #141

No. I am not gonna hunt past post, but no. I am not. Your position has benn made clear seabeyond Dec 2014 #146

I feel sorry for the one innocent guy you are willing to sacrifice. NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #182

In the legal system, nearly true. In college, literally true. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2014 #168

The Guardian shouldn't host MRA fanfiction and neither should DU. LeftyMom Dec 2014 #110

Posting "false rape/sexual assault allegation" stories should be against the DU rules. hughee99 Dec 2014 #134

Absolutely! And let's ban some more topics we don't want to see... NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #169

Mine actually was as well... hughee99 Dec 2014 #188

Oops. Sorry about that. NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #189

I understand, that's basically what I was responding to as well hughee99 Dec 2014 #207

So many people jumping to conclusions in this thread. Odin2005 Dec 2014 #114

Apparently, so did the person who wrote the piece. Claiming that a 2-year age difference was.... moriah Dec 2014 #135

I call bullshit on this bullshit. LexVegas Dec 2014 #121

I smell bullshit. Maybe I just have a cold. Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2014 #136

Me too. Doesn't help that the letter-writer got paid for it. seaglass Dec 2014 #160

Perhaps he should be angry at his fellow males Matrosov Dec 2014 #147

And the poster has of course not returned MattBaggins Dec 2014 #159

Bingo !!!! Rhinodawg Dec 2014 #162

One time, at band camp... Starry Messenger Dec 2014 #172

Are you happy now sibelian? seaglass Dec 2014 #177

wow. so the purpose was a flamebait thread and sit with buddies to laugh at duers? seabeyond Dec 2014 #190

well, those posts were about a different topic but the mindset is the same. seaglass Dec 2014 #191

ah. thanks. seabeyond Dec 2014 #192

I doubt very seriously this is a "flamebait thread and sit with buddies to laugh at duers"... NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #193

It's not an op-ed piece it's a paid letter to the editor. Of course it was posted as flamebait. n/t seaglass Dec 2014 #194

You are welcome to your opinion, of course. NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #197

as we tell republicans. there is a difference between fact and opinion. right? seabeyond Dec 2014 #199

Yes there is. NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #202

omg. lol. ok. well. i am done. i made my points. i have no need for a back and forth seabeyond Dec 2014 #203

Fair enough. NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #204

Why wouldn't you be allowed to have an opinion? I'm just pointing out that it was not an op-ed seaglass Dec 2014 #205

1. i did think/discuss evident by my posts. 2. obviously i take this seriously, hence, seabeyond Dec 2014 #195

Oh yes, I "see how some like to redefine posters." NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #198

yet, you did not acknowledge your errors i pointed out. seabeyond Dec 2014 #200

From what little I understood of your reply... NaturalHigh Dec 2014 #201

I wonder if ... 1StrongBlackMan Dec 2014 #179

sometimes I wish we could hear ... Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2014 #210

The fact that a problem is "rare" does not mitigate its seriousness bluestateguy Dec 2014 #206