"A letter to … the girl who accused me of rape when I was 15"

[moriah]

152. Unless she's been sheltered beyond belief, yes, she knows exactly what she's consenting to.

And I mean sheltered as "homeschooled by Fundies who never taught her sex ed and a late bloomer so they hadn't even had the period talk" sheltered. Especially if the "Do you want to" was said right before intercourse, which is what makes more sense to me as a time to ask, not while petting or kissing or before any touching at all.

15 isn't that much older than 13, either. In my state, we have "Romeo and Juliet" laws that give a guideline as to an appropriate age difference -- here it's 3 years, some may have 4 or 5 years age difference acceptable, especially with older teens who haven't reached the age to consent to sex with adults (to make an 18-year-old not guilty of rape if he had sex with his 16-year-old girlfriend who has been his girlfriend for years, etc).

What's sad is some states criminalize conduct between two 13-year-olds. What are they going to do, send the one who's older by a few months to jail? Both?

Now, if she was blacked out drunk, or if she was so intoxicated she couldn't alert the person allegedly sleeping next to them, that's where things get hairy. None of us have heard the girl's side. Perhaps she said to her friend she had sex and the friend said it had to be rape because she'd been drinking, but wasn't passed out yet, and reported it to the police who snagged on the age issue (because the age issue seems to predominate the perp's story). Or perhaps he threatened her and told her to keep her mouth shut. I have no idea.

But there's a reason for Romeo and Juliet laws. Not all states have them, and a situation could very easily arise where consensual sex between two teens that are close in age lands one of them in jail. And I don't think that's right.