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MindPilot

(12,693 posts)

85. My most blatant experience with this happend about 15 years ago.

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 03:24 PM

Jan 2015

It was so obvious, you couldn't have made it more so with a literal slap in the face.

This was an IT environment. My female co-worker made a statement about a problem we were experiencing and offered a suggestion to solve it. She was completely ignored by the manager...not dismissed, not minimized, just completely ignored as if she had said nothing.

I then repeated literally verbatim what she had just said a few moments earlier, and I immediately had everyone's attention. I said something along the lines of "well that is Dawn's assessment of the problem and I think y'all need to start listening to her."

I don't know if anyone else had the epiphany I did that day, but it was the first time--and thankfully the last--I ever experienced workplace sexism with that level of non-subtly.

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Why Women Stay Quiet at Work [View all] Liberal_in_LA Jan 2015 OP

And, you cannot be smarter chervilant Jan 2015 #1

it's the old story Skittles Jan 2015 #11

C'est moi. IdaBriggs Jan 2015 #23

Ball buster. leftyladyfrommo Jan 2015 #33

I've been called that chervilant Jan 2015 #61

Are you saying that you've never become friends with a man, Flatulo Jan 2015 #126

I really am puzzled by your take on my post. chervilant Jan 2015 #132

Thanks for clarifying that. I'd frankly be surprised if Flatulo Jan 2015 #136

Was told "you have a high opinion of your opinion" spooky3 Jan 2015 #44

We had a perfect example of this right here on DU.... VanillaRhapsody Jan 2015 #2

I was on a short break then but there was a Facebook hubub I was in on. PeaceNikki Jan 2015 #4

Yep....heads were exploding....meanwhile we women were just saying "welcome to our world"! VanillaRhapsody Jan 2015 #5

Yup, and that's how it went on FB, too. PeaceNikki Jan 2015 #7

White males in America just cannot relate....I try to explain it to them like this... VanillaRhapsody Jan 2015 #9

It's like there are two species of humans. Smaller, nicer ones and larger, parasitic violent ones. tclambert Jan 2015 #13

bwhahahahahaha! VanillaRhapsody Jan 2015 #17

So...which one are you? demwing Jan 2015 #71

I'm definitely the larger parasitic form. tclambert Jan 2015 #83

My grandmother always told my grandfather... VanillaRhapsody Jan 2015 #101

BAM. ^ BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2015 #98

We must be dating the same men!!!! VanillaRhapsody Jan 2015 #100

I'm alone now. I hope I change whatever it is that opens me up to them. BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2015 #104

Me too...exactly the same "thing" for me too.... VanillaRhapsody Jan 2015 #105

well, BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2015 #106

how strange...ME TOO! VanillaRhapsody Jan 2015 #107

ohhhh man!! was your mother BPD? BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2015 #108

I think so....she refused treatment her entire life so there is no known diagnosis VanillaRhapsody Jan 2015 #109

Yes, and have you noticed that nutirents enter and are ground up by one gnawing orifice and Vattel Jan 2015 #134

Many of them are utterly confident in their knowledge of... Triana Jan 2015 #15

You said it! I found that condescension in Technology too... VanillaRhapsody Jan 2015 #16

What is worse is that so many think they need to explain to US what our experience tblue37 Jan 2015 #21

Mansplaining... chervilant Jan 2015 #30

Is it just white men that can't relate? demwing Jan 2015 #73

I see this every.single.day. at my workplace. laundry_queen Jan 2015 #3

My old boss chervilant Jan 2015 #31

How did you address it with him? I've found that you can Flatulo Jan 2015 #110

OMG!! Why didn't I think of that?!? chervilant Jan 2015 #111

I asked because I have seen people tangle with their Flatulo Jan 2015 #113

Or you can speak right over them Aerows Jan 2015 #6

... cwydro Jan 2015 #14

It's the truth Aerows Jan 2015 #19

not projection- a sad reality in the workplace. we all hear the back biting comments assertive bettyellen Jan 2015 #77

It sure as hell isn't easy Aerows Jan 2015 #135

It does pay off. But the point is if you have to make extroidinary efforts bettyellen Jan 2015 #139

I have to admit, as a male, I have not noticed that, but I will say that madinmaryland Jan 2015 #8

I'm in a male dominated industry Aerows Jan 2015 #10

Very true. MissB Jan 2015 #24

Speaking as an old, white, male former boss: you are so right. bemildred Jan 2015 #26

Have you ever noticed the change in the way men walk leftyladyfrommo Jan 2015 #35

They strut and swagger PasadenaTrudy Jan 2015 #66

I see a weird sort of sexism in the martial arts. People discourage women from learning karate tclambert Jan 2015 #12

My friend does loans for people being relocated by their company annm4peace Jan 2015 #18

Even if the positions are offered most women would not go. leftyladyfrommo Jan 2015 #37

Actually, that is an old stereotype. Many women spooky3 Jan 2015 #46

are you kidding me? half my managers families relocated because the wife had a better job. bettyellen Jan 2015 #54

I guess my situation is unusual then NewJeffCT Jan 2015 #84

I relocated 6 times with IBM as a single female household. Always sinkingfeeling Jan 2015 #90

And while everyone at the meeting will see this behavior flamingdem Jan 2015 #20

K&R'd! snot Jan 2015 #22

KnR Pooka Fey Jan 2015 #25

I would say that this is approximately 100% true exactly as described. Orrex Jan 2015 #27

K&R Jamastiene Jan 2015 #28

This is accurate for me. LWolf Jan 2015 #29

I proposed a solution to a problem in a meeting with all male colleagues. CrispyQ Jan 2015 #32

why so shocked? This is just like marriage. n/t librechik Jan 2015 #53

there is a certain kind of lazy bottomfeeding dude who listens- just so he can do just that... bettyellen Jan 2015 #56

i have made statements on du, and attacked harshly by men. a man comes behind me and seabeyond Jan 2015 #59

Not just work either. Starry Messenger Jan 2015 #34

we are having to live a delicate balance. society says, "girls", cause of course we seabeyond Jan 2015 #36

The women I worked for who tried to be part of leftyladyfrommo Jan 2015 #39

yes. nt seabeyond Jan 2015 #45

While, as a woman, I know liberalhistorian Jan 2015 #38

I've had some good women bosses. leftyladyfrommo Jan 2015 #41

I've had male bosses who listen to what I have to say; never had a problem. Avalux Jan 2015 #43

and i have no issues with women bosses, lucky me, as i have no issues with my men bosses. seabeyond Jan 2015 #47

Best & toughest boss I ever had was a woman. CrispyQ Jan 2015 #63

Most of the good bosses I have had have been women. kwassa Jan 2015 #133

My personal experience here RockaFowler Jan 2015 #40

Business period is a man's game. leftyladyfrommo Jan 2015 #42

I agree RockaFowler Jan 2015 #48

Business has to be challenged and legal enforcement must improve. spooky3 Jan 2015 #52

i think we can do both, start our own and challenge within. and i think we are doing both. seabeyond Jan 2015 #58

Sadly, these tendencies were documented 20+ years ago. spooky3 Jan 2015 #49

The all-female press conference thing librechik Jan 2015 #50

I didn't realize that's why he did it. CrispyQ Jan 2015 #127

At my last job, I put a sign on the wall pnwest Jan 2015 #51

I have always loved that sign. niyad Jan 2015 #55

Post removed Post removed Jan 2015 #64

Calling women you worked for b****es is disgusting. nt DLevine Jan 2015 #67

Perhaps so... Doc Holliday Jan 2015 #68

Why not just call them assholes? nt DLevine Jan 2015 #69

if you think gender slurs are "accurate", then you are part of the problem. bettyellen Jan 2015 #74

What the fuck is wrong with you? Brickbat Jan 2015 #75

the movie "9 to 5" has a scene where lily tomlin's character has come up with the idea niyad Jan 2015 #57

Still happening today RockaFowler Jan 2015 #87

so sad is so correct. niyad Jan 2015 #103

where I am now has just as many women in management as it does men, and the difference is striking.. bettyellen Jan 2015 #60

When I worked in a place with that distribution most of the men didn't do that. Gormy Cuss Jan 2015 #62

yeah, previously I'd been the token woman running a deptartment, and had a stellar record bettyellen Jan 2015 #72

Wow, with a full staff of incompetent men about, they must have gone out of business after you left. ant Flatulo Jan 2015 #117

they came close to it, for sure. ironically outsourcing saved their asses....... bettyellen Jan 2015 #118

In My RobinA Jan 2015 #65

I'm only speaking for my personal experiences Blue_Tires Jan 2015 #70

this old white guy just came out of meeting with 18 women. MindPilot Jan 2015 #76

Sounds like you did not actually read the article- or you'd give a breakdown of male/female ratio... bettyellen Jan 2015 #78

18 women and me. MindPilot Jan 2015 #81

Ha ha, I hope you were heard as much as anyone else there. I spent years in that shitty enviorment bettyellen Jan 2015 #86

I've actually found when there were a lot of women NewJeffCT Jan 2015 #88

it seems sometimes there are micro cultures that take hold due to one or two people.... bettyellen Jan 2015 #92

Sounds like a terrible situation NewJeffCT Jan 2015 #114

Mr. Silly was acually angry he had to tone it down, he was used to winding people around his finger bettyellen Jan 2015 #115

I have worked with two men who found out the hard way that CrispyQ Jan 2015 #128

Good article YoungDemCA Jan 2015 #79

I have had so many suggestions I made to male superiors over the years Cleita Jan 2015 #80

This is so true. Before puberty, I was always the first one to talk. McCamy Taylor Jan 2015 #82

My most blatant experience with this happend about 15 years ago. MindPilot Jan 2015 #85

A salute to you, sir! CrispyQ Jan 2015 #129

They never told Irene BubbaFett Jan 2015 #89

Wow, sounds like Irene deserves a raise and change of title, huh? So common to bettyellen Jan 2015 #93

Where did you come up with that? BubbaFett Jan 2015 #94

recpetionists are generally lowest paid in the office, and entry level jobs. bettyellen Jan 2015 #95

so without knowing any detail BubbaFett Jan 2015 #96

YOU made it sound like SHE is running the place. So SHE sounds undervalued if she is a receptionist bettyellen Jan 2015 #97

No BubbaFett Jan 2015 #116

the obvious. the position of receptionist is lowest rung. we all know this. seabeyond Jan 2015 #119

It sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder BubbaFett Jan 2015 #120

this is the waste of time, type of argument i do not waste my time on. seabeyond Jan 2015 #121

Just curious, so I just checked it out up here .... polly7 Jan 2015 #130

Someone with over 99,000 posts has no time to waste. Flatulo Jan 2015 #141

Just FYI... NaturalHigh Jan 2015 #123

no. A LOT of receptionists do not make A LOT more than minimum wage. seabeyond Jan 2015 #124

Where do you get your "facts"? NaturalHigh Jan 2015 #125

Your information on receptionist salary is wrong. A simple visit to the BLS shows that Flatulo Jan 2015 #131

No, not everyone in business knows that at all. tammywammy Jan 2015 #137

Don't you just love it when people are so damn sure of something, that they get all condescending, Flatulo Jan 2015 #140

Absolutely true. kimmylavin Jan 2015 #91

Great Post.. yuiyoshida Jan 2015 #99

Something Along RobinA Jan 2015 #122

All of my employees are women Android3.14 Jan 2015 #102

Some managers are just abusive in subtle ways. Flatulo Jan 2015 #112

An interesting thing I witnessed during a long, long career at the same outfit (different owners Flatulo Jan 2015 #138