Why Women Stay Quiet at Work

[Flatulo]

138. An interesting thing I witnessed during a long, long career at the same outfit (different owners

but the same building and staff)...

We had two female engineers come aboard in the early '90s; both smart and qualified; both were WPI graduates. They were both what would be considered very attractive. A lot of the men grumbled that they were there to meet a husband. Mind you, the is was a 98% male environment, as most engineering departments were back in the day.

But funnily enough, both of those women did end up marrying their managers (after torrid affairs that ended the managers' marriages), despite HR policy of no dating between a supervisor and subordinate. It was a stressful work environment, with long hours and nights and weekends the routine, so I think there was a 'foxhole' mentality at work that exploited the emotional vulnerability of men and women that are terribly overworked.

I never thought that there was anything particularly wrong with this outcome - people do meet and fall in love in the workplace, and as long as there is no coercion, what's the problem. But it did trouble me a bit that it was Management that these women became involved with. As managers, these men were in a position of power over the women. Did that give them more of an 'ownership' status? I don't know, but I suspect so.

At least the managers did transfer their (now) wives to different groups so that there would be no chance of impropriety in salary, promotions etc. After a few years, both ladies quit to stay home and raise babies.

I was always taught that workplace romances were a bad, bad idea, but these worked out rather well, except for the first wives who were left to raise the managers' first brood.

Anyway, to the OP - our work environment was very inclusive, and people were always encouraged to share credit where it was due. Women didn't seem (to me at least) to hold back their opinions. But this was DEC in the '80s, which was a great company with a great ethic. We were all trained in diversity and proper office behavior. There were a fair number of women and minority managers.