Late this afternoon, outside the window of my office,

[calimary]

101. It was awhile ago. So whatever hurt I'm still dealing with is slowly subsiding, thankfully.

I just like sharing what happened - when DU gathered around me in a time of strife. We bicker and argue and criticize and find fault and punch holes here, but we also have the far more nurturing and comforting side VERY much in evidence, and very powerful and vigorous. That should be known about, too, I think. And celebrated!

And of course a memorial service is as important as a wake or a funeral! How could it not be? And it mattered a lot to me to see who showed up. It's also been most illuminating for me to observe who didn't bother to show up, and who disappeared from my life almost immediately afterward. Extended relatives of my mom's. They were in it for her (and, sadly, what they could get out of her), and had no time for me. Um... like I really cared that much. My life now is good, and definitely healing, and it's since been well-proven to me that I never really needed those individuals in my life anyway. I'm happier without them.

Events like that can turn into a kind of "visit with 'The Sorting Hat'" from that Harry Potter movie. Really sorts people out for you. Separates "the men from the boys," and "the wheat from the chaff." Those who never really cared tend to fall away since you're of no further use to them. The ones who really count are the ones who stick around.