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HeiressofBickworth

(2,682 posts)

35. When my daughter was born in 1967

Sun Mar 22, 2015, 07:47 PM

Mar 2015

my husband had to have permission of the Board of Directors of the hospital to be with me when I gave birth -- it was THAT unusual at that time for a father to be present. I barely recall the shower my friends gave me, and I'm not sure whether he was there or not.

Of course there is a down-side of this story: my husband was SOOOOO wanting a boy, he wanted to be at the birth. When the baby came out a girl, he had very little interest in her which continued for many years. I recall one time I asked him to watch her while I went to the grocery store. He put her on a blanket on the floor in front of an easy-chair and sat there and watched her until I got home. She, of course, was crying and very unhappy until Mommy got home to pick her up and comfort her.

It pleases me to see that modern men are taking more interest and a more active role in parenting.

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This message was self-deleted by its author [View all] boston bean Mar 2015 OP

I have attended baby showers as a man and I threw one, too, in the 80's. NYC_SKP Mar 2015 #1

Love you MORE, SKP! elleng Mar 2015 #5

As a guy, that would be the last place I would want to be. Nye Bevan Mar 2015 #2

I won't label it 'internalized sexism,' elleng Mar 2015 #3

Yes, this is internalized sexism philosslayer Mar 2015 #4

Listen, there is not a one of us who is not a product of our environment. boston bean Mar 2015 #6

You're the one who asked for opinions philosslayer Mar 2015 #16

Yep.. boston bean Mar 2015 #18

Seems fine to me. cyberswede Mar 2015 #7

My son-in-law was at my daughter's baby shower Freddie Mar 2015 #8

my wife had a couple of showers that were all-female... ProdigalJunkMail Mar 2015 #9

Why would you want the father excluded? alphafemale Mar 2015 #10

Well, I guess the usual discussions that go on at showers boston bean Mar 2015 #14

Maybe your niece thought it was only fair.. cyberswede Mar 2015 #40

Well, she sat right next to him I believe expecting to open them... LOL boston bean Mar 2015 #41

LOL - sounds like they should have at least taken turns cyberswede Mar 2015 #43

I've burned the ears of plenty of males. alphafemale Mar 2015 #51

I have too, but I would probably not do so at a baby shower. boston bean Mar 2015 #52

Did he put on a show for all the ladies there? snooper2 Mar 2015 #72

I wasn't invited Brother Buzz Mar 2015 #11

LOL. Sounds like you had a good time. :) boston bean Mar 2015 #28

I threw a baby shower Texasgal Mar 2015 #12

This was not that type of co-ed shower where all males in the family attended. boston bean Mar 2015 #15

I think this is the new norm. Texasgal Mar 2015 #19

It really is just me... I'm just working my way through it. boston bean Mar 2015 #20

To recognize it and Texasgal Mar 2015 #36

Thanks TG! boston bean Mar 2015 #53

It's not new to me... one_voice Mar 2015 #13

Well, I can only go by my own experience, but this is the first baby boston bean Mar 2015 #17

I didn't mean anything by my comment... one_voice Mar 2015 #32

No no no I didn't take it that way... that was why I put the smiley face. boston bean Mar 2015 #34

No worries, the internets make it difficult for us sometimes..lol one_voice Mar 2015 #38

that they do! boston bean Mar 2015 #39

I might be going to a baby shower where there well could be no mother attending. Thor_MN Mar 2015 #21

+100 Sissyk Mar 2015 #65

I have known many people who are uncomfortable opening gifts. KMOD Mar 2015 #22

I think that is generally how things are now .... ? etherealtruth Mar 2015 #23

Really... I guess I really am behind the times... boston bean Mar 2015 #25

"A special day for her and a day for women, who have experienced the same thing." WorseBeforeBetter Mar 2015 #67

I've been to a few baby showers where the expectant father attended. Arkansas Granny Mar 2015 #24

My husband didn't attend mine and it wasn't a precursor to him being uninvolved. boston bean Mar 2015 #26

If I were married, I'd leave it up to my wife. I wouldn't mind going if she wanted me there. BlueJazz Mar 2015 #27

Why should baby showers be the exclusive domain of women these days? Gormy Cuss Mar 2015 #29

That I recognize, Gormy and therefore my conflicting thoughts.... boston bean Mar 2015 #44

Bridal showers used to be mostly the domain of women too (hence the name) Gormy Cuss Mar 2015 #69

Let's examine what the role of a Baby Shower is. If it's to give women KittyWampus Mar 2015 #30

Well, my thought was that it was the first in your scenario... but maybe I am just behind the times. boston bean Mar 2015 #46

it's being the only Male that makes it kind of unusual JI7 Mar 2015 #31

Yeah, I think that might be my main issue. boston bean Mar 2015 #33

perhaps she is less comfortable being the center of attention? I would be mortified myself! bettyellen Mar 2015 #73

When my daughter was born in 1967 HeiressofBickworth Mar 2015 #35

Of course, I agree that it is much better to have men more involved. boston bean Mar 2015 #37

IMO, he is a control freak or a doper looking for items to be pawned. CK_John Mar 2015 #45

If the father is there marym625 Mar 2015 #42

I think both parents should be at the baby shower missingthebigdog Mar 2015 #47

if she ordered me to be there i would be there...never argue with a pregnant wife dembotoz Mar 2015 #48

i see where you are coming from. there are guys out there who take the dad thing mopinko Mar 2015 #49

Some folks I know had a baby shower today for their daughter, her husband, enough Mar 2015 #50

Thanks for the comment! boston bean Mar 2015 #54

This whole men at baby showers thing is weird LittleBlue Mar 2015 #55

I spent 90% of the time at my sis-in-laws wedding shower with the guys back in the bar. bettyellen Mar 2015 #75

I don't see the big deal. NaturalHigh Mar 2015 #56

There is that too, I think... boston bean Mar 2015 #57

Hubby was there for mine, but so were his male coworkers. nt Ilsa Mar 2015 #58

So, it was more like a jack n jill wedding shower? nt boston bean Mar 2015 #59

I think mercuryblues Mar 2015 #60

Heh, I bet I can name at least one of the DUers who will do exactly that. Sheldon Cooper Mar 2015 #61

Well, twenty-something years ago madamesilverspurs Mar 2015 #62

Cute story for you. Sissyk Mar 2015 #63

I think baby showers can be really different in their purpose A Little Weird Mar 2015 #64

Loss of tradition? Seems like they're making their own traditions. bigwillq Mar 2015 #66

As a woman that's the last place I'd be! n/t PasadenaTrudy Mar 2015 #68

Me, too. leftyladyfrommo Mar 2015 #71

My baby shower included Bettie Mar 2015 #70

Men don't belong at baby showers... Oktober Mar 2015 #74

My daughter's baby shower 25 years ago this summer Ms. Toad Mar 2015 #76

If the dad is there, then other male attendees should be there, too. Otherwise, it's valerief Mar 2015 #77

I've attended many many baby showers tammywammy Mar 2015 #78

My SIL and his Dad came last year HockeyMom Mar 2015 #79

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