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[glowing]

134. Have you ever been around women who call their friends"bitches".

There is way you can do it in a friendly, non-harmful manner. But if your friend says, "you are a bitch", then it's no longer "friendly" and its crossed the line. It's all in the context in which we use or say words within a sentence or in addressing someone.

I hear young people all the time using the "bitches" thing or the "n... with a at end" connotation all the time. The younger gal I work with has a black fiancé and mixed son with him. If she uses the word, no one is even remotely upset about it. Now, if a guest walked in off the street and overheard her talking on the phone to a friend and she used the word, they would probably be offended because they have little context in which to understand her life.

I think as our younger generation becomes more integrated, date across color/ hereditary lines, and take cues from pop culture, their is a difference in using certain words among one another in their social settings. Now, I'm about 10yrs past her age and I'd say my age group is on the cusp of that geneslzation, but not entirely comfortable with the interplay. The whole "bitch" thing was only becoming a fad my last year in college and I wasnt sure I loved the whole, "what's up my bitches" in a casual manner.

The word is also heavily used in rap music. So, do you sing along to the lyrics or do you sing along like the radio and bleep yourself out? So, between our young people being more sociable and actually living mixed lives and popular music and other trends, the word is actually losing the old time meanings. Now, if some 50yr old white person used the word, I think people would automatically say "racist". I think you have to be around 25 or younger to be able to be "cool" enough to actually belong to a diverse group of friends that use "bitches", "hoes", n word with a"... And you probably have to living in a region that actually has diversity. Someone in small town SD isn't as able to use that word with the 1 black kid that lives in town without it sounding like an attack or a perversion, as the kids living in Miami or Orlando.

Since being in FL, Ive seen a lot of interplay with words using Spanish too. Many people use "Papi" and "Mami" to address one another. I work at a hotel, and we had a black couple who came up from Miami all the time to stay, both of them called me Mami. I have mixed in with people all around me so much, that one of my nicknames for my son is "Poppa" or "Pops". And we have NO Hispanic or "Spanish" heritage in the family. My husband and son are actually part Native American, but we both use the Poppa or Pops nick name for him all the time because we work with so many people who do have Hispanic or Latino backgrounds.

And then my boss is Guayana Indian, and I've now eaten a ton of hot peppered foods, gone to Himdu ceremonies, and learned some of those dances they love to put on Bollywood movies.

I'm originally from VT with NO diversity except in the cows and snowflakes... But now, I'm surrounded by so many different cultures and colors and interesting people to know and try out. I love being having that. I love that my child has so many different friends to hang out with. I love that he has no fears or prejudices being thrown on him.

So, I guess if the kids are learning how to live with one another and using language or terms in a manner that they feel more bonded or tight with, I'm a little less judgemental about their actually living the lives Martin Luther King Jr. "dreamed" about. As an example, my son is 10, when President Obama won his first election, he didn't really get that it was such a crazy historical thing.. He was 4 or 5, running around the house with a flag, saying "Brak Bama" and didn't think it was odd seeing a black man standing at a podium as President. That his girls are pretty. That his wife seems like such a "nice lady". Yes, of course he sees different hues of color, but it doesn't make a difference. There are some nasty web comments that are constantly attacking Michelle as some ugly man... And I can't even understand how devoid one has to be or how programmed they were growing up back in the day that someone of a certain color is so physically unattractive to their brains...

As Oprah has said, as the olds die out, some of this overt nastiness and racial biases will also diminish. Hopefully, we can also start fixing the real areas that need addressing to help equalize our children's play habits with what occurs when they deal with the "systems" stuck in 1950... The profiling by police, the judicial system, hiring practices, pay equality, and opportunities for all of our children!

Sorry for the birdwalk...