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[chowder66]

79. Thanks again. And yes, I've been trying to figure that out with them

It isn't easy. And they are very approachable about this but we have gotten down to as close as we can without creating turmoil that topples us all. I have to give my parents credit for being as strong as they are but they aren't as young as they once were.

I don't talk to him if I can help it but if he's been drinking then that is when it gets bad and he calls over and over and then will start calling my parents late at night. This is not good. So if he calls 4 times, I pick up and tell him I can't talk, if he overruns me I sometimes let him babble on and sometimes walk away from the phone while he's still talking.
The key is to get it done with so I can go a year or so without hearing from him. I don't get "triggered" every time. It only happens if he is particularly nasty and he hasn't been that way the last couple of times. Is he a pain to deal with, yes but again, it is limited.

I appreciate the advice but we've made it pretty far together as a family and we will come through this. I really just don't want others to have go through it. I want more done about it.