Bye Bye Sarkozy - Live Coverage of Hollande's speech here

[sofa king]

7. One American's advice to France

When one of your guys compares an upcoming election to the election of the worst goddamned leader the free world has seen in 80 years, you had better be getting ready right now to go in and kick that miscreant out.

Because he's telling you this election is close enough to steal.

You know how a couple of times each century France and the United States come together to bail each other out, and then we spend the rest of the time making fun of each other? We're too fucked up to bail you out now, thanks to George Bush.

So please, for the sake of your awesome cooking and your fine appreciation of art, both of which make America and France better places, get rid of your own George Bush before it is too late!