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laundry_queen

(8,646 posts)

62. I was married to a narcissist

Thu May 10, 2012, 02:07 PM

May 2012

I'm well aware of the red flags. It's possible THAT particular mother is, I know many narcissistic mothers who enjoy martyring themselves to the "I'm the greatest mother ever" gods. I knew some who did do that, who did all of the 'awesome mothering' things that they couldn't possibly have actually DONE because they seemed to have oodles of time to write on their blogs about it. However, I know some (myself included) who really did it because of the child. Believe me, my oldest was difficult to wean even though I was done done done. I didn't keep on for myself. And I KNOW I'm no narcissist (yes, seen several psychiatrists and therapists thanks to my divorce. I am normal

I disagree that she won't change the narrative. The more people are exposed to toddlers nursing, the less it gets ridiculed, the more accepted it becomes. I think it's a positive change for our society.

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What do you think of the cover of next issue of Time? **Image may offend** [View all] cynatnite May 2012 OP

That's one big three-year old. nt msanthrope May 2012 #1

Or, he's a short 23 year-old. leveymg May 2012 #9

lol. looks to be about 5 Liberal_in_LA May 2012 #108

I thought it was the only good actor still alive on Game of Thrones. Octafish May 2012 #145

"Milk does a body good." Gidney N Cloyd May 2012 #19

... either that or ... surrealAmerican May 2012 #141

He's a bigun... Cave_Johnson May 2012 #176

What do I think? I think that Sachin Tandulkar is a great batsman, but THE cricket god? truebrit71 May 2012 #2

Is that kid winking? NightWatcher May 2012 #3

ya... that would be two eyes wide open. and then people wonder why there is an issue seabeyond May 2012 #6

Chill out (joking). My wife's practicing attachment patenting NightWatcher May 2012 #13

The "overreacting much" comment in 1, 2... Lost-in-FL May 2012 #14

sheeeit, even before you got it posted. its a joke.... lighten up francis. nt seabeyond May 2012 #21

I thinkyou are on to something. I have often wondered if some men DO feel as if they have to CTyankee May 2012 #98

i have seen things change. when i was growing up as a kid i would run up on moms breastfeeding and seabeyond May 2012 #100

Don't let those sad creatures get you down. CTyankee May 2012 #106

i have been telling myself this since last night seabeyond May 2012 #110

Aww, it's a variant of the old saying "living well is the best revenge." CTyankee May 2012 #114

sigh... i think seabeyond May 2012 #116

Hey, that's great! CTyankee May 2012 #117

i didnt scroll down. looking at the picture, i didnt know the kid was on a chair.... seabeyond May 2012 #4

At that age, isn't that child abuse? Quantess May 2012 #5

In many hunter-gatherer cultures kids breastfeed till they are 4 or 5. Odin2005 May 2012 #17

Yes, and its a natural form of birth control as well bhikkhu May 2012 #142

natural form of birth control ... "Lasts for up to six months after giving birth" not 3 yrs seabeyond May 2012 #143

Well, there are definitely better ways bhikkhu May 2012 #161

It does. You just can't depend on it after time as an individual vanlassie May 2012 #162

That's a really ignorant view laundry_queen May 2012 #23

Could you please post a reputable study demonstrating cali May 2012 #29

Shit, I knew someone would make me dig up the studies laundry_queen May 2012 #35

so the kid being ridiculed is justifiable? cali May 2012 #37

So what you are saying laundry_queen May 2012 #42

I'm saying that in our particular culture- in which Ms. Gruman happens to dwell- cali May 2012 #48

She's in jeans and a tank top with her hair pulled back. laundry_queen May 2012 #51

yes, dear she's got a ton of make up on. and yes it's a glamor shot. cali May 2012 #55

LOL. Okay. Say that again? laundry_queen May 2012 #66

right. because I said so much about child models cali May 2012 #84

Of course you said nothing about that. laundry_queen May 2012 #97

I see nothing wrong with any family having their picture taken together cali May 2012 #105

Glamor shot?!!! Doremus May 2012 #156

I was married to a narcissist laundry_queen May 2012 #62

.... cali May 2012 #88

I grew up with a narcissistic mother laundry_queen May 2012 #99

My mother is also a narcissist underseasurveyor May 2012 #191

Okay laundry_queen May 2012 #39

yes, you should see what else you can find. cali May 2012 #43

Is that so? How? laundry_queen May 2012 #47

hahaha. laundry_queen May 2012 #49

again, my objection is not to breast feeding a 3 year old cali May 2012 #54

That's your opinion laundry_queen May 2012 #56

that depends. Is the kid cali May 2012 #61

Depends on what the protest is about. nt laundry_queen May 2012 #67

Depending on the size of the crowd, the nature of the protest HappyMe May 2012 #124

K Dettwyler is a world renown expert cultural anthropologist vanlassie May 2012 #139

Dettwyler. Biological vs cultural perspectives in clin ob and gyn 2004 vanlassie May 2012 #103

"The WHO recommends AT LEAST 2 years." Not according to the World Health Organization 4th law of robotics May 2012 #83

Well, it's changed since I breastfed my kids. laundry_queen May 2012 #94

i heard two, too. didnt do two. but that is what i was told decade and half ago. though, seabeyond May 2012 #95

Thanks. I'm pretty sure laundry_queen May 2012 #102

yes... and i remember solid at 4-6 mo recomm at around 4. isnt it interesting. seabeyond May 2012 #113

I agree 100% queen. Edim May 2012 #127

Yes, agreed. underseasurveyor May 2012 #187

I think posing that way and using your kid that way is not a good thing. cali May 2012 #7

The pic? A bit weirdbut I guess that's the point - to attract attention dmallind May 2012 #8

I think Time has lost their minds and quinnox May 2012 #10

Holy shit laundry_queen May 2012 #24

Ugh. Incredibly naive. FarLeftFist May 2012 #41

Child porn? Are you for fucking real? TransitJohn May 2012 #50

omg, child porn? Whisp May 2012 #65

Child porn? nadinbrzezinski May 2012 #77

you just jet packed over the shark. and yes i do consider breastfeeding at that age a tad odd... dionysus May 2012 #150

We get that you think that it's odd. vanlassie May 2012 #154

at that age, it's not done a lot... here. i am aware in other cultures this is more common. dionysus May 2012 #181

Not JUST in other cultures vanlassie May 2012 #193

I think it's offensive that Time, like much of the media, keeps trying to make women hate each other Brickbat May 2012 #11

while they airbrush and sexualize for the men, all wrapped in one. nt seabeyond May 2012 #15

I don't see anything wrong with it. Odin2005 May 2012 #12

whatever. none of my business either. breastfeeding use to be simply nature back in my day seabeyond May 2012 #16

I don't see anything wrong with nursing your 3 year old cali May 2012 #18

I knew many many women who did it laundry_queen May 2012 #33

so do I. cali May 2012 #57

Great post. redqueen May 2012 #69

The boy seems a little young to be in porn photo shoots. FSogol May 2012 #20

Let me be blunt: No kid over 3 in our culture needs the tit. cali May 2012 #22

Needs? Who are you to dictate what a persons "needs" are? cleanhippie May 2012 #101

You have many opinions that are radical, Cali vanlassie May 2012 #111

Sorry, but you don't know what you're talking about. Ilsa May 2012 #131

"Let me be blunt" is often a paraphrase for... LanternWaste May 2012 #198

I learn a new thing or two everyday! Lost-in-FL May 2012 #25

One thing's for sure: Ms. Jamie Lynne Grumet simply HATES all of this attention. Romulox May 2012 #26

ding, ding ding. that's my problem with this. cali May 2012 #58

Her blog crashed from the traffic, so mission accomplished Blue_Tires May 2012 #112

Same thing happened to DeGaulle when he too was featured on the cover... LanternWaste May 2012 #199

Why?? rubberducky May 2012 #27

I think that child is going to be mortified when he nears his teens Solly Mack May 2012 #28

exactly. cali May 2012 #30

There are many women who have spent a LOT of money getting pregnant, and who may only ever have SoCalDem May 2012 #31

That is if you get to the pacifier first. If its one of the older HubertHeaver May 2012 #75

I think it will sell newsstand copies of the magazine. MineralMan May 2012 #32

I don't have a problem with women breastfeeding geardaddy May 2012 #34

Little Britain - Bitty... SidDithers May 2012 #36

lol cali May 2012 #40

cmputer says noooo..... dionysus May 2012 #151

Love Matt Lucas and David Walliams... SidDithers May 2012 #157

I think that is one huge 3 year old or that is one tiny mom. jp11 May 2012 #38

I do agree with that. laundry_queen May 2012 #46

I have more of a problem with the cover than the act. The act is beautiful. Feed your child. FarLeftFist May 2012 #44

Highschool is going to be fun for this kid 4th law of robotics May 2012 #45

I think he is a bit old to be breast feeding Marrah_G May 2012 #52

My problem isn't that mom is breast feeding her 4 year old cali May 2012 #60

Well, they are certainly going to sell a HappyMe May 2012 #53

What will be interesting is if I'll see this in any of the waiting rooms in the near future madokie May 2012 #59

I breast fed my two girls until they were a year marlakay May 2012 #63

Aaaaggghhhh. Arkana May 2012 #64

It is none of my business.. Bandit May 2012 #68

It would be none of anyones business if... brendan120678 May 2012 #194

Looks rather uncomfortable to me spinbaby May 2012 #70

So, is this Time story about dining at the Olive Garden? Bruce Wayne May 2012 #71

Smoking in the other room, HappyMe May 2012 #72

Offensive? GeorgeGist May 2012 #73

The real problem with this picture is RC May 2012 #74

wow. two babies and never had an orgasm while breastfeeding seabeyond May 2012 #82

Never? 4th law of robotics May 2012 #87

i edited due to a predictably creepy reply. nt seabeyond May 2012 #89

Creepy? 4th law of robotics May 2012 #90

Good call and accurate prediction... LanternWaste May 2012 #200

The post I responded to was significantly different than 4th law of robotics May 2012 #212

how we create stories to fit. since i was adressing a poster saying women breastfeeding seabeyond May 2012 #213

I responded to what you said 4th law of robotics May 2012 #214

what a crass and bizarre reply. dionysus May 2012 #189

The post I responded to was edited post-reply 4th law of robotics May 2012 #208

ah, i see wha you mean. makes sense now. dionysus May 2012 #209

Actually, I don't know any nursing moms who experienced sexual pleasure while nursing. gkhouston May 2012 #205

I wish I was that kid... n/t zappaman May 2012 #76

Natural activity, next. nadinbrzezinski May 2012 #78

I'll gladly swap places with the kid. -..__... May 2012 #79

If you like breast milk, I suggest the Human Milk Banking Association. Not sure if you'd qualify as Blaukraut May 2012 #92

meh... sounds like he might be just the right age. nt seabeyond May 2012 #93

I don't see the problem. All three of ours gave up the nip on their own. HopeHoops May 2012 #80

I think it is awful jberryhill May 2012 #81

Why? Rex May 2012 #85

She wants cheap, instant, trainwreck celebrity... Blue_Tires May 2012 #119

Sure does seem that way. Rex May 2012 #207

It's not offensive to me. Does seem a bit AWish 4th law of robotics May 2012 #86

My only comment is that is a little unnerving at first glance. n/t RebelOne May 2012 #91

Is that kid keeping her thin? nt ileus May 2012 #96

Yep, sucking all the nutrition out of her. RC May 2012 #104

I went from 160 to 115 after 6 months of exclsuively breast feeding my son Nikia May 2012 #192

crass, sensationalist, and a shameless use of cheap sexual thrills Blue_Tires May 2012 #107

You put it well- much better than I did cali May 2012 #118

What, might I ask, is a 'regular' looking woman? HappyMe May 2012 #120

The body/face/age ranges Time editors won't put in this pose Blue_Tires May 2012 #123

Which is what, exactly? HappyMe May 2012 #126

What did you have in mind for "deviant fetish of the week"? badtoworse May 2012 #135

+10 Myrina May 2012 #183

Some Twitter responses I found funny Union Scribe May 2012 #109

What else are you supposed to do while you're waiting on line at The Olive Garden? rug May 2012 #115

Looks like she's going to be on "Today" tomorrow morning MadrasT May 2012 #121

And so it begins Blue_Tires May 2012 #122

and even the BBC picked it up this morning Blue_Tires May 2012 #169

That kid seriously needs the Gussie badtoworse May 2012 #125

I know what you mean by that vanlassie May 2012 #146

It seems like you're the only one who does. badtoworse May 2012 #158

We're well read! vanlassie May 2012 #160

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn? smirkymonkey May 2012 #174

You got it! First thing I thought of too. badtoworse May 2012 #186

From Salon - an article about the article MadrasT May 2012 #128

women are really being attacked on all fronts. since men are the controlling factor, seabeyond May 2012 #129

Interesting to see the alternate shots they rejected MadrasT May 2012 #133

yes... it is. interesting. thanks. nt seabeyond May 2012 #136

They picked the most striking "wtf" one indeed. I'd like to see them comfortable together, not uppityperson May 2012 #165

"picked the most striking "wtf" one indeed." exactly, with such a stark background. lack of seabeyond May 2012 #175

That's similar to the point I was trying to make Blue_Tires May 2012 #170

It's good Edim May 2012 #130

Agreed FedUpWithIt All May 2012 #185

I think the more right wing a person is, the more likely they are to find some reason to complain. Prometheus Bound May 2012 #132

So it begins sadbear May 2012 #134

Irrelevant rag DainBramaged May 2012 #137

So when do they start potty training? progressoid May 2012 #138

I don't find it offensive. It is a mother breastfeeding her child. Jennicut May 2012 #140

Thank you. Just to be clear... vanlassie May 2012 #147

I don't think so. it's a glamor shot. It's deliberately provocative cali May 2012 #180

This thread is proof that many "progressives" still have backward attitudes... Odin2005 May 2012 #144

Why would it be offensive? MrSlayer May 2012 #148

Exactly- and this is what provokes the reactivity- women have unduplicatable power to nurture. vanlassie May 2012 #149

Eh. Men can be very nurturing, too. randome May 2012 #152

Of course. But then not all men have a problem with a woman nursing a three or four year old vanlassie May 2012 #153

Correct. Breast feeding reminds some people that we Humans are just another animal species. RC May 2012 #182

We need an Olive Garden story now to make the sacred DU trifecta complete! tjwash May 2012 #155

Actually, she needs to have a cigarette in her hand for it to be truly complete Hippo_Tron May 2012 #163

I'm dying laughing here, all of the indignant reactions to this mag cover... countryjake May 2012 #159

I have a question... AsahinaKimi May 2012 #164

Give it time (hee hee, I made a pun)... countryjake May 2012 #166

i hear this a lot on du, i think they leave an element out of the "nipple slip". seabeyond May 2012 #179

I'll be so glad when this type of thing is not even worthy of shock anymore. FedUpWithIt All May 2012 #167

I'm with you. Duppers May 2012 #168

My mother was a beautiful woman madokie May 2012 #171

No problem w/ breastfeeding, the photo bugs me nadine_mn May 2012 #172

I'd have no problem with it IF Ship of Fools May 2012 #173

I think that poor little bastard is going to spend the rest of his life Arkana May 2012 #177

I'm not offended by the photograph varelse May 2012 #178

i nursed my children until they refused the breast barbtries May 2012 #184

That kid looks closer to five than three cherish44 May 2012 #188

i was listening to NPR talking about this today. very unattached talking about attached seabeyond May 2012 #206

Her kid, her choice bigwillq May 2012 #190

If someone is offended by this, they should get out more Major Nikon May 2012 #195

If the kid is big enough to ask for it..... lastlib May 2012 #196

Why do you care what she does? MineralMan May 2012 #197

I don't really care--I just expressed my opinion that she's... lastlib May 2012 #201

It's not as uncommon a practice as you think. MineralMan May 2012 #203

At worst, I find it merely benign. On the other hand, at best I also find it merely benign. LanternWaste May 2012 #202

rather sensationalistic and in your face shanti May 2012 #204

yeah. Even nursing moms are trashing it. Some question if she's even lactating, saying it Liberal_in_LA May 2012 #211

Camouflage pants on a three-year-old. How gauche. nt Buns_of_Fire May 2012 #210