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[TorchTheWitch]

249. Jesus, what my family has put me through is already bad enough

They don't believe a singe word I tell them. They just think I'm nuts, that I'm somehow too crazy to hold a job and this whole situation has been my own fault. They still truly believe that government services are magic that does everything, and the only people on the street are really crazy or on drugs/alcohol.

They already believe I've been thrown on the street weeks ago, and not a one of them has tried to contact me in any way. I've gotten screamed at that how dare I make them worry, and two of them have not ever said a single word. They've been talking about me behind my back since the whole eviction issue first came up and repeatedly have told me that the best thing for me is to lose everything I have and go to the poxy shelter that even giving them website links still didn't convince them that it is continually full with a long waiting list. I can't believe they ever looked at those links. How the hell anyone could imagine that would be best for anyone I can't fathom and have argued with them about that endlessly feeling like I'm talking to someone with no brain cells. Of course, if it was any of them it would be the world's worst disaster.

Fuck them. They've caused me more agony and mental torture than anyone else other than the scumlord yet they also keep telling me that they're biggest concern is my mental health. I've not even seen any of them for seven years. I wasted more time and all to my mental and emotional detriment trying to keep them updated with everything that was going on and that who the hell did they think was taking care of me other than my own self for all these decades. I only wish I'd known a long time ago that I have no idea who the hell these people are and that they haven't ever given one flying fart in the wind about me. I have no doubt they're relieved that they no longer need to remember me.

Even my case worker begged them for just a loan for one single month, and they didn't even believe her. They harped endlessly that only my getting a case worker could possibly do anything at all for me, and once I told them what she wanted to do (this was after the first time I met her and thought she was great) they suddenly decided that she was full of it yet out of the other sides of their mouths insisted that my case worker was all I had and that I had to trust and rely on her. It was like an on going argument with the most obvious dipshit trolls on DU. Ignoring them entirely was the best thing I did for my mental and emotional health, and I kick myself for all the time I wasted on them. Were I dying in the middle of the street they'd either step over me or kick me out the their way. Had I only known years and years ago they thought of me as a thorn in their side, and I've never asked anything from any of them.

I don't have a family, I have several people that are just related to me by blood. Should I somehow survive this I will never acknowledge them ever again. They're dead to me.

I need to get to bed. I have a ton of things to do tomorrow. I just have no idea why I'm still doing them when I already know it won't do a damn thing. The only thing I can possibly think of is making Yoshi a legal and registered ESA and get some kind of reasonable accommodation to keep us from being thrown onto the street.