Goofus and Gallant

[tularetom]

7. Thing is you knew what you were getting with an asshole like Goofus

You just had to take your periodic pounding and wait until you either grew big enough that he was afraid of you or fed up enough that you fought back and got him to back off. It was pretty straightforward.

Gallant on the other hand was a sneaky little passive aggressive shit. Sure he might give you a dime and teach you about the Constitution but he would also rat you out to the teacher for burping in the cafeteria or tell your parents if he saw you smoking in the woods. He was gonna narc on you for something so you might as well smack the snot out of him on general principles.

"In our world, you were either a bully, a toady, or one of the nameless rabble of victims!"
-A Christmas Story