Remembering my mom.

[renate]

3. I do remember that you've written about her before

It was, obviously, memorable. I am reluctant to say this because I don't want to cause you any pain--except that I say it with the utmost, utmost, utmost respect and with profound grief for what she endured--but I can still see the picture you're referring to, in my mind's eye. The only reason I'm telling you that I can still see that picture is that I also want to say that I saw more than that. She was once a girl, then a young woman, then your mother, then someone beloved and mourned. She was and is missed.

I think what Ms. magazine did was wrong. I grew up reading that magazine and I remember it fondly, but the decision to publish that picture without consulting your family was absolutely wrong. Unconscionable. A betrayal.

I know your mother didn't mean to become a poster child for the cause, but the fact that she was so brave in dealing with an impossible situation is staggering. I am so impressed by her courage; I would not have had it. And I am impressed by your courage in talking about it despite the pain it causes you.

What she endured may not have helped Purvi Patel, but she has helped, I would say almost certainly, millions of women. She made a difference that few people ever do.

And, entirely separately from the topic at hand, I am truly sorry for your personal loss. She wasn't just a symbol... she was your mom. And she is not forgotten.