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[Demit]

184. I hope on some level your grandmother sensed that you all cared.

The same thing happened with my elderly aunt, who up until her mid-eighties was living independently in her own small home. Then senile dementia started to take hold. I had to call for an ambulance one day when I found her in bed seriously dehydrated, talking to the "man who lived in the picture." At the hospital they evaluated her and recommended a nursing home (I was her only living relative--well, the only one who cared--but, living alone, I wasn't equipped financially to bring her to live with me).

I would visit every week, and most times she was lucid, but she never forgave me for "putting her in prison." I bought & wrapped up a bagful of Christmas presents, but because I couldn't tell if seeing me really did upset her, I asked the staff deliver them and say they were from her secret santa. She was in the home for about a year when she passed. I sat with her at the end, though she was unconscious. I just hope on some level she knew I was there, and that I did care the whole time, and that I didn't everwant her to be "in prison." It's something you have to believe, you know?