a lot of times people have these lists of things they are looking for (Reply #5)

In the discussion thread: To the other women wondering where the good men are anymore, [View all]

Sun May 20, 2012, 07:16 AM

ejpoeta (8,933 posts)

5. a lot of times people have these lists of things they are looking for

and they miss out on a good person because they won't even give someone a chance. I had a friend who basically dated the same guy. He wasn't the same guy, but he could have been. And it always ended the same. When I first introduced her to my boyfriend, she told me I was settling and should dump him. He didn't fit her criteria I guess. I never really had a list and even though Bob didn't dress nice and didn't drive a nice car, and frankly I found him annoying when we first met, I saw something in him that led me to start dating him.

He's not perfect... neither am I. But we've been together for 15 years and have 3 kids now. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to throw out that list of requirements. It's bogus and it causes you to overlook more important things you should be looking for.

There was a woman who wrote a book about dating any guy who asked or something. She ended up finding someone she clicked with.

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87 replies	Author	Time	Post
To the other women wondering where the good men are anymore, [View all]	mahina	May 2012	OP
I'VE HAD IT WITH MEN	Skittles	May 2012	#1
Scheduling Skittles for an ass-kicking.	MiddleFingerMom	May 2012	#67
I found nice atheists at a Unitarian-Universalist church. YMMV.	Manifestor_of_Light	May 2012	#2
Speaking generally, wo/men who say "where are the good wo/men"	Zalatix	May 2012	#3
I heard this saying once:	Selatius	May 2012	#4
I think sometimes people who say that are looking for somebody who is	raccoon	May 2012	#7
Right, because women get worse with age, and of course a man who chooses	Darth_Kitten	May 2012	#14
I'm pretty confident that isn't what he said...	Cave_Johnson	May 2012	#54
Some things strike me as really funny.	lumberjack_jeff	May 2012	#83
Wrong.	Darth_Kitten	May 2012	#15
no video?	hfojvt	May 2012	#53
a lot of times people have these lists of things they are looking for	ejpoeta	May 2012	#5
Agreed too many people have their ideal/perfect person and don't want to	jp11	May 2012	#12
ya. mine isnt perfect either. and yet, those nonperfections dont bother me at all	seabeyond	May 2012	#21
As far back as Jane Austen's time:	treestar	May 2012	#6
Most of the gay people I've known	Confusious	May 2012	#8
Well OK but at least as long as there is not an odd number	treestar	May 2012	#9
you have got to be kidding me	hfojvt	May 2012	#57
If you are single at that age aren't there some number of women to every man?	treestar	May 2012	#69
at fifty though, it feels like the game is already over	hfojvt	May 2012	#74
I found one.	blueamy66	May 2012	#10
Most likely	TuxedoKat	May 2012	#11
No, have to disagree with you.	Darth_Kitten	May 2012	#16
Well, I have to go by my own personal experience.	blueamy66	May 2012	#71
that is true. when I met bob i didn't realize it	ejpoeta	May 2012	#18
that's cool	blueamy66	May 2012	#72
If that's the case, thank the Universe I never married! nt	raccoon	May 2012	#22
I've wondered if I'll ever meet a woman like me.	unreadierLizard	May 2012	#13
These women weren't as smart or strong as they wanted the world to believe...	Darth_Kitten	May 2012	#17
It's just beginning for you.	dawg	May 2012	#25
Looks get to women too	treestar	May 2012	#50
There are plenty of good men.	mainer	May 2012	#19
So, how can a certified public accountant make himself seem a little dangerous?	dawg	May 2012	#24
forget the sideburns. Shave your head!	mainer	May 2012	#26
Can't do that.	dawg	May 2012	#28
love it.... nt	seabeyond	May 2012	#30
How to be awesome.	Chan790	May 2012	#36
Wow, what a brilliant relpy!	dawg	May 2012	#38
Women who chase men in sports cars get what they deserve	mainer	May 2012	#39
Oh, I'm not looking at the wrong women. It's way worse than that!!!	dawg	May 2012	#41
well for dawg's sake, get OUT THERE then!	mainer	May 2012	#44
Take the ring off	goclark	May 2012	#59
Screw you, I'll wear what I want.	lumberjack_jeff	May 2012	#78
I wish we could rec individual posts	Rob H.	May 2012	#84
Have you considered writing a book on the subject?	Buns_of_Fire	May 2012	#86
How about running with sharpened pencils?	KansDem	May 2012	#27
Yeah, it's pretty hopeless.	dawg	May 2012	#29
No, I just posted how to pull it off.	Chan790	May 2012	#37
Here are some suggestions from Monty Python	Art_from_Ark	May 2012	#87
Some people are drama monarchs and many of them are women	treestar	May 2012	#51
Both men and women can be attracted to "baddies"	Lydia Leftcoast	May 2012	#65
Yep, I follow that idea of not looking and if	treestar	May 2012	#68
I would love to meet someone nice, stable, kind and sensitive.	Marrah_G	May 2012	#63
mahina... that is all i have around me. they arent hard to find. i hear ya. nt	seabeyond	May 2012	#20
I hope that I'm one of the good ones.	dawg	May 2012	#23
all it means to me is a person with good character and principles. i dont think it is a tough	seabeyond	May 2012	#31
sorry about hop?	dawg	May 2012	#32
lol... double sorry	seabeyond	May 2012	#33
It DOES mean different things to different women	Lydia Leftcoast	May 2012	#66
Hey now - nothing wrong with a little 420!	Taverner	May 2012	#34
In my personal life there are more than enough good, fine decent, kind, mature, smart, supportive...	Little Star	May 2012	#35
The same principle holds true for both genders:	GaYellowDawg	May 2012	#40
Maybe they should look beyond trying to meet men at the gym, bars and night clubs	Sen. Walter Sobchak	May 2012	#42
I"M RIGHT HERE!!!!	Motown_Johnny	May 2012	#43
Ms. goclark	goclark	May 2012	#45
Yeah, there ought to be a dating/dating advice board	mainer	May 2012	#46
I agree	goclark	May 2012	#47
If I weren't already happily married, I would specify on any dating website:	mainer	May 2012	#48
That is so cool	goclark	May 2012	#49
Political progressiveness is one of my criteria.	mahina	May 2012	#52
Absolutely agree	goclark	May 2012	#60
HOWEVER, I once perused a dating site for Democrats, and half the men's profiles	Lydia Leftcoast	May 2012	#80
Welllllllllll.......................	DFW	May 2012	#55
"Say, baby, who's awesome?"	Ikonoklast	May 2012	#56
Do very many women really wonder that?	hfojvt	May 2012	#58
My wife sort of likes me. We've been together since '84.	HopeHoops	May 2012	#61
Human beings are an odd bunch	Marrah_G	May 2012	#62
Have you ever watched "Excused"?	WorseBeforeBetter	May 2012	#75
yikes- no i've never seen that	Marrah_G	May 2012	#76
See my post above about "baddies"	Lydia Leftcoast	May 2012	#81
I met a good man at a bar and been married almost 23 years now..	cynatnite	May 2012	#64
It happens; but under unusual circumstances	Lydia Leftcoast	May 2012	#82
Mine's pretty good ...	noamnety	May 2012	#70
The whole pairing-up thing never worked out well for me	bhikkhu	May 2012	#73
Look for Friends not someone to Love	goclark	May 2012	#77
You're looking for the wrong women	Lydia Leftcoast	May 2012	#79
There are a lot of good men and women	Blasphemer	May 2012	#85

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