After many years of observation, I believe that both women who go for bad boys and men who go for psycho-shrews (we don't often hear about that phenomenon, but it certainly exists!) are mostly chasing people who fit the media image of glamor. They're going for looks rather than personality.

Furthermore, both the bad boys and the psycho-shrews are good at counterfeiting what the opposite sex wants. Men want a passionate partner, and they mistake the psycho-shrew's moodiness for passion. Women want someone interesting to have around, and they mistake the bad boy's behavior for a sense of adventure.

I don't have any non-negotiable demands for looks or wealth, but I absolutely require a high level of intelligence, a non-childish sense of humor, a wide range of interests, and no ideas about what "real men" don't do. This is depressingly hard to find among the single straight men of my (older) age group. There are way too many anger junkies, alcoholics, and just plain boring guys who can't talk about anything but work or sports. They're the types who are divorced, and after talking to them for 15 minutes, I think, "I'd divorce you, too." After some awful experiences with online and personals dating, I have decided just to live my life and if I find someone, great, and if I don't, that's better than putting up with some of the boring, angry, addicted types I met when I actively tried to date.