Things American Muslim women don't wanna hear from you [View all]

[Syzygy321]

I get the feeling on this site that no one here actually hangs out with Muslims and knows them as people.

Which doesn't surprise me since (a) its a small minority and (b) the serious ones socialize mostly amongst themselves (at least the ones I know) and the liberal few are not especially recognizable when you see them at your book club or your workplace.

So this OP is in the interest of cross-cultural understanding. Muslim women in hijabs are mostly kinda sick of being singled out as if they're weird or special or cute pets or the enemy.

Some things they hear too much:

(1) "Aren't you hot in that?". (said to any woman wearing a hijab, abaya, etc in summer.

Ask this and you'll probably get a polite smile and a "Actually, no. I'm not."

Meanwhile, she's thinking that you're the fiftieth person to ask her that this week, that you're boring and boorish and intruding on her clothing choices and you're probably trying to insult her religion.

And BTW, she probably IS hot in that but she'll never admit it, and it's still NOYB.

(2) "You speak such good English!". Usually said to a woman in traditional Muslim garb who is a lifelong American.

(3) "Hey, I know some Arabic. 'Allahu Akbar!'. How was that?"

This was said to my visiting relative in the local park, by an older guy who was probably just trying to be nice. She smiled painfully and angled her shoulders as she turned back to me, and I know what she was thinking: "Americans are idiots."

. (This is probably the equivalent of making "Indian war-whoop" noises when someone mentions that she's Cherokee.)

(4) "Does your husband treat you well? Don't let him treat you like chattel!".

Ding ding ding! You've just won the "ugly stereotype" award.

The fact that the stereotype is often true (husbands lead; women follow; and if he wants to treat her 'like chattel' there may not be much she can do about it) does not mean she wants an outsider flinging innuendos at her and her husband and the way of life she has chosen (or is stuck in). You're. Not. Helping.

(You know the old saying, "I against my brother; my brother and I against our cousin; my cousin and I against a stranger"? You're the stranger in that lineup, buddy.)

(5) "You don't *really* think God cares whether people eat a slice of bacon, do you? I mean, God's so much bigger than that."

Your Muslim acquinatance is thinking, Shut up and butt out, asshole.

(6) "Whoa - is this a stickup?".

I heard a guy say this to a niqabi (face-veiler) woman outside of a store. She ignored him. Okay, so I laughed after she was gone. But that's because I hate those friggn niqabs.

My daughter got scared of a faceless woman in a mall when she was little, and I made a point of answering loudly, "Yes, hon, it does look scary. Let's move."

(You can hide your damn face (women) or refuse to shake my hand (men), but I'm not obligated to support your bullshit when you inflict it on the public.)

That concludes this PSA.