13 year old boy faces assault charges for kiss made on a dare at Md. middle school

[Jim Beard]

33. This is the original kindergarten kissing bandit

[link:http://articles.baltimoresun.com/1996-09-27/features/1996271018_1_johnathan-prevette-kissing]

http://articles.baltimoresun.com/1996-09-27/features/1996271018_1_johnathan-prevette-kissing

1996.........

In the small town of Lexington, N.C., Johnathan Prevette, a first-grader at Southwestern Elementary, "stole" a kiss from a classmate. (We used to speak, in innocence, of "stolen" kisses. Now, we speak of "bringing charges," which, if you think about it, is hard to rhyme in a love song.)

Little Johnathan got her right on the cheek. From all reports, it was one time. No exchange of saliva. I think the official term for such a kiss is a peck.

He got her good, though.

He got her so good that the name of the "victim" is being withheld.

A teacher spotted the violation, or who knows what might have happened next. Little Johnathan and his tow-head were marched off to the principal, who did not suspend him, as reported.

What he did was send little Johnathan to the school's high-management classroom (which is where they send bad kids), made him miss an ice cream party (which, to a 6-year-old, is far worse than a 20-year stretch at San Quentin) and turned him into a national celebrity (which is way cool, dude).

Why all the fuss?

Because his crime was ... sexual harassment.

No, I'm serious.

Allow me to quote school spokeswoman Jane Martin: "A 6-year-old kissing another 6-year-old is inappropriate behavior. Unwelcome is unwelcome at any age."

A day later, they were backing off the sexual harassment charge because it sounded, well, stupid. They said little Johnathan broke a rule about "unwelcome touching," which is quite different, somehow. Or maybe not.

If you have just the slightest bit of common sense, or if you don't want to make the Rush Limbaugh show, you allow little Johnathan to plea bargain to a lesser offense, something along the lines of "snotty-nosed brat" or "acting like a 6-year-old."

You give him a time-out and tell him that kissing little girls is something that not even Bill "Sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g" Clinton did in the first grade.

No, the ever-zealous school officials had to go for the big one. If only Freud were alive today.

Katie Couric: Dr. Freud, can a 6-year-old actually sexually harass somebody?

Freud: No, but he can date his mother.

Did you get a look at this kid?

He doesn't look like a serial kisser. He looks like a cereal eater. He looks like he could play little Mikey in the Life commercial.