mom makes daughter post embarrassing photo as punishment

[indie_voter]

147. this is a tough one.

I don't know the family or their dynamics. I will admit to cringing when I saw the crying girl with the handwritten note.

I don't know if it's effective or not. Maybe it is for this child? It could be for all I know. Everyone responds differently. For some people this could be very damaging, for others it might be just what they need. I don't know that there is a one size fits all solution.

I have a tween and a teen. My teen is not the type of kid to do anything too off the wall, but my tween is. She just recently got in trouble at school for taunting the classroom bully. This kid hadn't done anything to her or anybody that day but she decided on preemptive measures. She then refused to take responsibility for what she did when held accountable by the Principal and her teacher. She eventually came clean with me. I made her write a letter of apology to her Principal and her teacher. That was tough for her but I wanted her to understand she's accountable for her actions. She had already been made to apologize to the kid at school by the Principal.

As for something like this? If she posts stupid pictures of herself underage drinking and making a public spectacle out of herself? I know I'd take away computer and social media privileges for some time, letting her use her computer for school work only. However I personally wouldn't be comfortable with the punishment under discussion because I fear the consequences of making her look foolish in front of her peers on such a global scale. These pictures go viral on tumblr, twitter, live journal, facebook, etc. All it takes is one so called friend with a case of schadenfreude to copy the image and send it out. You don't have the kind of privacy filters on tumblr or twitter that you do on Facebook. Anybody can reblog anything for example on tumblr. Her friends friends friends could see her humiliation. I don't know if that would teach my daughter a lesson or prey on her at an age when she's so concerned about what others think of her?

Case in point, this picture is everywhere. We're talking about it here.

I'd be worried that my kid would do something more radical to repair her reputation in front of her friends so they don't think she's a wimp with no control over her life.

I just don't know. I'm not judging this mother because I don't know her kid ,her or their circumstances.

The only thing I know is I don't think this type of punishment would work for me or with my kids. Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe something definitely would need to be done. My instinct would be to take away social media indefinitely until my child showed they are better suited to handle it, just as this mother did. However, I personally would do it without making a public announcement because all the friends would know she's been busted anyway when she loses all privileges.

It isn't easy knowing what the right thing to do is. One thing I do believe is this mother is doing this out of love for her child and with the best intentions.