On my Brother-in-Law's Passing ... [View all]

[NanceGreggs]

As some of you know, DUer Desert Flower is my sister.

We had a long conversation this evening, and she has been overwhelmed, and is truly grateful, for the incredible outpouring of love and condolences from her fellow posters on this board.

My brother-in-law, John, was one of those once-in-a-lifetime people some of us are lucky enough to get to know. When our grandmother was in her last months, embarrassed by being bedridden and unable to do for herself, John spent his nights watching her favourite TV shows with her. “Don’t be silly, Grandma,” he would say when she expressed her humiliation at being so helpless. “I’m happy to do for you.” And he was.

When my mother realized she was slipping slowly into dementia, unable to remember people, places, things – John did her shopping for her, and spent hours with her when he dropped off her groceries. “I know he’s heard my same-old stories a million times,” Mom said. “But he always pretends he’s hearing them for the first time, and laughs with me when I tell them.”

John was welcomed into our family almost forty-two years ago. He was smart and witty – and brought more laughter into our lives than any family truly deserves. His one-liners at family events quickly became legendary.

John was a successful businessman, having earned the respect of every co-worker he’d ever known. He was also a painter and a stained-glass artisan; his creative spirit amply demonstrated in his many works.

My sister has always been my role model. She is the strongest woman I have ever known. Her life has not been as easy as some might imagine – she has met challenges, and dealt with them; challenges that most of us (gratefully) have never had to face. And she has done so with grace and style.

I don’t know when Desert Flower will be posting here again. I can only tell you that your condolences, good wishes, sympathies and prayers have been taken to heart, and she thanks each and every one of you for your kindness in her time of loss. She expressed her gratitude over and over tonight for all of you who held her, and John, in their thoughts and prayers throughout.

It is said that when you make someone laugh, you add years to their life. If that is so, John added so many years to my own life, I will probably live forever.

Thanks to all of you who have been so kind to my sister. Your thoughtfulness is truly cherished, and will never be forgotten by her, or our family.

--- Nance