Diners Deliver Scolding Note to Mom and Screaming Toddler

[Igel]

14. Depends on what you read into the story.

We are missing pieces.

Did the screaming last 2, 3 minutes? 20 or 30? Did the mother do make reasonable efforts to stop the screaming or just assume it would play itself out if she put up with it?

At home, we'd let our kid scream himself until he was exhausted and stopped. No reward, no reason for him to continue.

In public, however, we didn't demand everybody else respect us while we showed them no respect. The kiddo would scream and if it lasted more than a minute or two he'd be outside with one parent while the other parent ate. There he could scream himself silly. If he was still screaming when the first parent was done, the second parent would go in, eat, settle accounts, and we'd leave.

If it was one parent and the kid, we'd prefer having our meal ruined rather than insist on everybody else put up with the fit.

We expect to be in the presence of screaming kids from time to time. However, we also expect that prudent and reasonable measures be taken to keep this to just "from time to time." The reason that few dinners are ruined by screaming kids is that kids are taught early not to scream, kids who scream are not given opportunity to ruin others' dinners, or screamer-kids who must be in public are dealt with fairly quickly and unobtrusively. It's a question of mindfulness, being aware of others' presence, and of conscientiousness. If it's a matter of give and take, fine--but often it's mostly just a matter of take, without the corresponding "give."

Options are rather different on planes and trains so the rules have to meet the constraints. Hard to step outside with your kid to settle him down or remove the irritant.