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H2O Man

(79,202 posts)

57. When I was wee-little,

Thu Jan 14, 2016, 05:21 PM

Jan 2016

the movie "The Wizard of Oz" scared me. One day, after consuming a pickled beet on an immature golf course, I swear that I heard "the call of the wild." Yet, looking back from the high hill of my old age, I realize this was no excuse for shop-lifting. Hence, my goal is to appear on Dr. Phil, to discuss if blaming my parents is an acceptable course of action. I mean, I could read yesterday's newspaper, but I'm not confident that "the answer" could be found -- except possibly in the horror-scopes. To this day, I can't drink a bottle of cough syrup without having the number "purple" flash in my mind, like a flashback from watching the Ed Sullivan show.

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Porn has ruined my relationships with women [View all] chalmers Jan 2016 OP

Hollywood/Madison Avenue as well. Impossible standards for both sexes emulatorloo Jan 2016 #1

cool story I guess snooper2 Jan 2016 #2

I occassionally ran across Playboys and Penthouses and Hustlers in the weirdest places back... ChisolmTrailDem Jan 2016 #9

I'm sure there is some sort of joke between mythology Jan 2016 #118

I spent 35 years in the trades, lots and lots of new construction. Adsos Letter Jan 2016 #26

I spent a few summers in construction. EL34x4 Jan 2016 #37

I worked in an automotive supply store. The employee bathroom was littered with them. Ed Suspicious Jan 2016 #78

It is about as good as the other thousand times I've Rex Jan 2016 #82

You found abandoned porno mags at construction sites?? 403Forbidden Jan 2016 #3

Biggest stash of porn I ever discovered was bvf Jan 2016 #22

I used to get lots of porn at work MurrayDelph Jan 2016 #32

It starts with the parents. ShrimpPoboy Jan 2016 #4

It's fun from the other direction Blue_Adept Jan 2016 #20

I too am a father of two girls Victor_c3 Jan 2016 #75

It's all about the personalities of course Blue_Adept Jan 2016 #120

the women who are in porn have all sorts of body styles. I dare say Schema Thing Jan 2016 #5

If you actually destroyed a relationship with "but all the porn stars do anal!!" jeff47 Jan 2016 #6

i agree. if unrealistic ideas of what women should do to please you, is your concern La Lioness Priyanka Jan 2016 #15

is it? or is it just the excuse youre using for your failed relationships? saturnsring Jan 2016 #7

Judge not, Saturnsring. forest444 Jan 2016 #105

well i dont mean to come across as judgemental im suggesting that perhaps his problem with womyn saturnsring Jan 2016 #121

I use to photograph and create content for adult websites... 403Forbidden Jan 2016 #8

Cool story. Dr Hobbitstein Jan 2016 #10

Actually, porn hurts my left abdomen tymorial Jan 2016 #59

Oh stop it. KentuckyWoman Jan 2016 #11

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jan 2016 #110

I too visited quite a few construction sites in my formative years DefenseLawyer Jan 2016 #12

Superman movies ruined my relationship with gravity. Nuclear Unicorn Jan 2016 #13

THIS made me laugh. Thanks. nt cherokeeprogressive Jan 2016 #40

LOL! hifiguy Jan 2016 #61

Imagine how I felt when I learned not all Martians Codeine Jan 2016 #64

Can't even count the times I've tested my relationship with gravity... hunter Jan 2016 #84

in that respect, wouldn't actors and models also ruin your relationships with women? La Lioness Priyanka Jan 2016 #14

Speak for yourself. Warren DeMontague Jan 2016 #102

lol La Lioness Priyanka Jan 2016 #129

I have read that that is a common problem. Much as they probably didn't want to pnwmom Jan 2016 #16

The problem I hear from virgin male pornviewers is that they think most men have a 9" penis emulatorloo Jan 2016 #28

This holds true unless you propose to your girlfriend tymorial Jan 2016 #60

Oh wow I missed that story, just found it on the Google. emulatorloo Jan 2016 #69

What size screen are they watching it on? Warren DeMontague Jan 2016 #98

Lol, yes! emulatorloo Jan 2016 #123

yep n/t zazen Jan 2016 #100

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jan 2016 #104

Sounds more like your parents ruined you as opposed to porn Blue_Adept Jan 2016 #17

Dafuq? nt Cali_Democrat Jan 2016 #18

It's January. The Porn Wars Awaken. Blue_Adept Jan 2016 #21

LOL n/t trotsky Jan 2016 #24

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jan 2016 #101

Yup Blue_Adept Jan 2016 #119

Nothing will ever top the kerfuffle over the Spider-Woman cover. hifiguy Jan 2016 #135

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jan 2016 #137

Porn at construction sites? tabasco Jan 2016 #19

Wonder what they were erecting jberryhill Jan 2016 #34

Clearly the genesis of the colloquial reference to "wood". MindPilot Jan 2016 #42

maybe pintobean Jan 2016 #49

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jan 2016 #103

I know, right? Pinboy and Aerows, where are you? This thread needs Nay Jan 2016 #130

I am betting there are reasons other than porn Skittles Jan 2016 #23

Yes INDEED. n/t trotsky Jan 2016 #25

Practicing Kendo ruined my relationship with Light Sabers. Katashi_itto Jan 2016 #27

I blame my father. Codeine Jan 2016 #54

Irony alert Goblinmonger Jan 2016 #29

I was just about to post the same thing. Cassiopeia Jan 2016 #30

Agree! Katashi_itto Jan 2016 #31

So, what do you think about circumcision? nt bemildred Jan 2016 #33

Never have sex with anyone who would have sex with you. mhatrw Jan 2016 #35

Pornography has taken quite a toll on children that were never believed, hasn't it, chalmers? bobthedrummer Jan 2016 #36

thank you--I have no energy left to defend against the pro-porn apologists this month zazen Jan 2016 #38

The problem is with you. And how old are you that your access JI7 Jan 2016 #39

"I often turned down the advances of females in high school..." MindPilot Jan 2016 #41

"GO AWAY! BATIN'!" nt Codeine Jan 2016 #52

OW! My balls! DefenseLawyer Jan 2016 #73

"Idiocracy" was not fiction. hifiguy Jan 2016 #76

Sorry... where exactly is this construction site again ?? bdwker Jan 2016 #43

Same thing happened with me and the Terminator series. Dr. Strange Jan 2016 #44

I am even wary of the Dr now. Its a sad thing. Katashi_itto Jan 2016 #45

It's just the difference between "a" doctor and "The" Doctor MindPilot Jan 2016 #47

Dear god!!!! That image... Katashi_itto Jan 2016 #48

He would probably align with the Daleks. MindPilot Jan 2016 #51

I hear the Gallifreyans used Tardises for grain storage. nt Codeine Jan 2016 #56

This. Never. Happened. closeupready Jan 2016 #46

Rrrrrrrrright. Codeine Jan 2016 #50

You're lost deep inside Super Cool Story territory LittleBlue Jan 2016 #53

Dear DU, I never thought I'd be writing to you.... sarisataka Jan 2016 #55

"Dear DU, I never thought I'd be writing to you...." Nuclear Unicorn Jan 2016 #67

When I was wee-little, H2O Man Jan 2016 #57

Easily the most cogent post in DU history. Codeine Jan 2016 #62

I'm not buying this post at all. tymorial Jan 2016 #58

'Chicks with dicks' magazine really messed my young mind up about women Kaleva Jan 2016 #63

Alcohol has ruined my relationships with women, I don't want to make it illegal CommonSenseDemocrat Jan 2016 #65

I'm not too sure what leads you to believe we maintain puritanical standards. LanternWaste Jan 2016 #66

The Harrison Ford poster 11 year old Dorkzilla had on her wall dorkzilla Jan 2016 #68

Yes, you did. Hissyspit Jan 2016 #79

Thanks, Hissy! nt dorkzilla Jan 2016 #83

I doubt it's porns fault you were an immature and superficial teen. nt killbotfactory Jan 2016 #70

Youth Culture Killed My Dog Chiyo-chichi Jan 2016 #71

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jan 2016 #99

Olive Garden has ruined my relationship with NYC Italian restaurants JHB Jan 2016 #72

Never go to confession on the Internet JonathanRackham Jan 2016 #74

Jeez, at least half my writing on DU and the internet is confession. hunter Jan 2016 #85

I've gotten some great leads. JonathanRackham Jan 2016 #111

Leads to what? hunter Jan 2016 #112

Shhhhh JonathanRackham Jan 2016 #114

Oh, please... Hissyspit Jan 2016 #77

That is strange that you would blame porn for lack of relationships. Rex Jan 2016 #80

Always affected my relationships in a good way. RiffRandell Jan 2016 #81

...said no teenage boy ever Left2Tackle Jan 2016 #86

Women ruined my relationship with porn. :) nt pinboy3niner Jan 2016 #87

Y'all are posting in a thread! RandiFan1290 Jan 2016 #88

Yes melman Jan 2016 #116

Good news friend, modern internet porn depicts every variation of human anatomy getting it on. aikoaiko Jan 2016 #89

Cool story, bro. TheManInTheMac Jan 2016 #90

Porn made me a better gay man Prism Jan 2016 #91

Same here. LuvNewcastle Jan 2016 #106

Let's just hope none of your future girlfriends have seen Boogie Nights... grossproffit Jan 2016 #92

turn down female advances in high school ? um yea RIGHT..... steve2470 Jan 2016 #93

Yeah, that part kinda gave it away, no? grossproffit Jan 2016 #95

it sure did! nt steve2470 Jan 2016 #96

I had a good laugh over that one. Katashi_itto Jan 2016 #126

I don't think thats entirely accurate. beevul Jan 2016 #138

give me a break steve2470 Jan 2016 #140

Here, have a break. beevul Jan 2016 #141

Reddit is leaking into DU! Odin2005 Jan 2016 #94

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jan 2016 #97

I had a copy of July 1976! jberryhill Jan 2016 #127

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jan 2016 #145

This isn't true is it? Depaysement Jan 2016 #107

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jan 2016 #109

Myabe Chocolate Ice Cream. Hmmm...no, it's close but yeah your right. Katashi_itto Jan 2016 #122

This message was self-deleted by its author ecstatic Jan 2016 #108

Sounds like your personality flaws are what destroyed relationships. PersonNumber503602 Jan 2016 #113

OMG, me too! None of those pick up lines ever worked. ohnoyoudidnt Jan 2016 #115

Cool story bro former9thward Jan 2016 #117

Ah, the old Evangelical 'conversion' sales pitch, adapted for a new issue. Marr Jan 2016 #124

He got at least two fellow members of the amen chorus to support him, so give him that... friendly_iconoclast Jan 2016 #134

It kinda freaks me out thinking that our skyscrapers were built by guys while they looked at porn Bucky Jan 2016 #125

So sorry. Authoritarian religious hypocrites have brought unnatural disaster Zorra Jan 2016 #128

"Alas, poor chalmers, I knew him well", signed, Skinner uppityperson Jan 2016 #131

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jan 2016 #132

yep, pretty lame steve2470 Jan 2016 #143

I knew that guy was a troll, with his OBAMA FAILED thread nt steve2470 Jan 2016 #142

I thought thread was titled: "Pork has ruined my relationships with women" Coventina Jan 2016 #133

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jan 2016 #144

Nonsense. beevul Jan 2016 #136

Honesty RandiFan1290 Jan 2016 #139