Porn has ruined my relationships with women

[beevul]

136. Nonsense.

You're focusing on incidentals, and ignoring reality.

Reality is this:

You like what you like, you're attracted to what you're attracted to, the reasons are generally beside the point.

If you're settling for less than what you like or what you're attracted to, you are doing both yourself and the partner you should never have had a dis-service, and that's on you. All of it.

I've seen similar discussions about relationships where one partner has a super high libido, and one an almost nonexistent libido. So the partner with the high sex drive turns to porn, gets caught watching it by the low drive partner, and gets hit with the 'that's why your drive is so high" accusation, which is equally nonsensical. If you know your partner has a low libido and you marry them, you essentially agreed to be a participant to whatever misery it leads to.

If you're into sex and kink and people with bodies like porn stars, and you settle for less in a relationship, remember: YOU have settled for less. Find someone who fits your attractiveness criteria who likes porn too (yes Virginia, there are women who like porn as much as guys, and sometimes even more), and your problem would seem solved.

Forget porn, relationship troubles would be far far more reduced, if people were better matched libido wise, though I'm not sure how exactly that could be accomplished. "Hi, my name is X and I love to get it on three times a day, once before breakfast, how about you" seems not to be something to say on a first date, though it may be among the most important things to be matched on, in a relationship.