Trump Depending on High Turnout of Horrible People---Borowitz on Iowa [View all]

[dixiegrrrrl]

Amid the final countdown to the Iowa caucuses, campaign staffers for Donald J. Trump said that their candidate’s chances depend on a strong turnout among horrible people. Speaking to an audience of over three thousand Horrible-Americans in Des Moines, the billionaire entreated his audience to ask their horrible friends and relatives to come to the caucuses. “I need each and every one of you atrocious people,” Trump said.

A spokesman for Sen. Ted Cruz said that, while he, too, was seeking the support of horrible people, he was also building a powerful coalition of angry loners and sociopaths.

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