What Not To Say When Someone Is Sick

[LeftishBrit]

25. This is great with some people, but I'd be cautious about it with others

Some people who are ill (or bereaved, etc.) can be upset at others seeming to take over and deprive them of an independence which already seems threatened. Obviously, I am not talking about situations where the person is already 'in extremis' and would be lying on the floor and starving if someone else did not come in and assist them. Also, some ill people are easily exhausted by visitors, or feel humiliated by having others see them at their worst.

I do agree with being direct about what sort of thing you could do for the person. Nice as it is to say 'If you need anything, ask me', most people, however willing, are not able to do literally ANYTHING that the other person may need. I cannot drive, and so cannot give people lifts. Someone else may have a very demanding commute and work schedule, and so rarely be available on weekdays. So rather than leaving the person to guess what is possible to ask - and maybe thereby avoiding asking at all for fear of asking 'too much' and being refused - it's IMO a good idea to be more specific: 'Please let me know whenever you need shopping done'; 'Please let me know whenever you need a lift at the weekend'; and yes, 'I'm going shopping tomorrow; what could I pick up for you?'