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OneGrassRoot

(23,953 posts)

74. I treasure the pictures of my son...

Mon Apr 18, 2016, 10:23 PM

Apr 2016

I was 40 weeks, full term. Perfect pregnancy. No movement for a day so I went in for an ultrasound to make sure all was well. It wasn't -- there was no heartbeat.

Two days later labor was induced. At some point during those two days I was mortified when it was suggested we take pictures of the baby.

But I am so very, very, very, very grateful that we did. Indeed, it is all we have of Joshua. That and a lock of his hair.

While I am incredibly grateful he didn't suffer, there is no way I can even conceive of standing in judgment of the family in the article as the OP did.

As for Reactionary's consistent insults about making such a "big fuss" and whatever he (are you a he?) said upthread, it's nauseating.

You should be ashamed of your comments judging what is perhaps the worst tragedy a human can experience: the loss of a child.

Fuck you. (Anyone on here who knows me knows I don't say that to people but this poster is deserving of a heartfelt FUCK YOU.)

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IMHO This is sick, sick, sick... [View all] reACTIONary Apr 2016 OP

So the infants greatest sensation will be dying, I don't really know what to say about that. Rex Apr 2016 #1

dying? that is simply part of the life cycle Jeffersons Ghost Apr 2016 #3

Not usually for an infant though, which was my point. Rex Apr 2016 #6

You apparently have a better grasp on this than... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #13

I just would not do it myself, it doesn't sound right to me. Rex Apr 2016 #37

I'd share you judgment if it was me. But families deserve to be able to do this, if they want Bucky Apr 2016 #59

I think it is ultimately a private matter that is none of my business. Rex Apr 2016 #77

Have you lost a child soon after birth? WillowTree Apr 2016 #2

Nope, but.... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #16

You should have no opinion unless moonbabygo Apr 2016 #22

Sorry, I do have an opinion. I think you are right..... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #27

that is not true, hollysmom Apr 2016 #30

how sad moonbabygo Apr 2016 #39

for a lighter answer, live long enough and a lot of stuff happens. hollysmom Apr 2016 #42

LOL moonbabygo Apr 2016 #43

her mother didn't take it well hollysmom Apr 2016 #50

No, she'll see the fur. Needs a heads up. It happens. elehhhhna Apr 2016 #51

Sounds like it was just Lanugo, which is usually unpigmented and falls out shortly Hekate Apr 2016 #86

her fur was very dark, black. and she was born 2 weeks late so they had to induce the mother. hollysmom Apr 2016 #87

Yeah that would surely be memorable! Hekate Apr 2016 #89

Me either. WillowTree Apr 2016 #38

I think we have to consider more than just the grieving parents... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #56

I missed the part of the article that talked about these babies suffering. WillowTree Apr 2016 #84

I object to the mandating of informing people about perinatal hospice as part of abortion Brickbat Apr 2016 #4

How's this? Igel Apr 2016 #11

I got the impression drmeow Apr 2016 #83

Username checks out MowCowWhoHow III Apr 2016 #5

. Brickbat Apr 2016 #8

Check. Now that you've dissed me... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #18

Absolutely gratuitous Apr 2016 #7

Yep easttexaslefty Apr 2016 #29

Me too. elehhhhna Apr 2016 #52

Personally, I don't think that putting another human being... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #55

Yeah, you said that gratuitous Apr 2016 #73

So, you would mandate Bettie Apr 2016 #101

Even seconds spend with your child are precocious ... I know from personal experience. nt hack89 Apr 2016 #9

I'm sorry for your loss. My own choice would be .... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #20

And that should absolutely be your option. WillowTree Apr 2016 #40

I consider this a matter of choice and I would support any parent who chose this route. Arkansas Granny Apr 2016 #10

Yes, it's a matter of choise, and IMHO.... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #12

All I can say is that I hope you are never faced with this tragic circumstance. Arkansas Granny Apr 2016 #15

I hope no one will ever be faced with such an tragedy.. reACTIONary Apr 2016 #19

Way to take a stand there, reACTIONary. Way to take a stand. Brickbat Apr 2016 #17

The decision should be made by the parents and their doctor malaise Apr 2016 #45

This isn't sick-- it is heartbreaking... TreasonousBastard Apr 2016 #14

It certainly is their choice.... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #23

Says the poster with "seek to understand" in the sig line. Brickbat Apr 2016 #25

Having and expressing an opinion ..... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #31

Expressing an opinion doesn't make you an asshole. Brickbat Apr 2016 #33

Where's the sick part? Iggo Apr 2016 #21

It's sick in my opinion because it's . ... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #24

Simmer down. Dying newborns tend to create "big dramatic" productions, no? elehhhhna Apr 2016 #53

It's also not your choice Warpy Apr 2016 #54

IMHO, this is what choice is all about. ScreamingMeemie Apr 2016 #26

Yes, expressing opinions about the choices of others . .. reACTIONary Apr 2016 #34

It says more about the "opinion holder" than it does about the person he/she is judging. ScreamingMeemie Apr 2016 #35

^^ +1. . . .n/t annabanana Apr 2016 #111

What is sick about it easttexaslefty Apr 2016 #28

In my opinion, dealing with grief, "moving on", etc. does not justify ..... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #58

You're assuming easttexaslefty Apr 2016 #95

All I care about is that the baby narnian60 Apr 2016 #32

This, I think, is the salient point. eom. reACTIONary Apr 2016 #69

I used to call forms and formats of grieving I'm wholly unfamiliar with "sick," too. LanternWaste Apr 2016 #36

YUo HAve No CLue 4Q2u2 Apr 2016 #41

I have no problem with this maxrandb Apr 2016 #44

I'm with you about the right to choose, but ... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #65

This makes me extremely angry. Adrahil Apr 2016 #46

The different between Hurt and Pain 4Q2u2 Apr 2016 #47

I'm am so glad you found that peace. Adrahil Apr 2016 #49

Both of you made the choice that Bettie Apr 2016 #102

So that's what Rick Santorum is up to these days! KamaAina Apr 2016 #48

It's not sick. I'm a L&D nurse. Some parents want this. Butterbean Apr 2016 #57

You certianly have much more experience and knowledge of these situations... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #61

Do you think we DON'T focus on comfort care for the baby at all? Seriously?? Butterbean Apr 2016 #62

I don't believe that "pain management" justifies what, in my opinion, is... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #66

Okee dokee, we are at an impasse here. Butterbean Apr 2016 #68

Thanks for your insights.... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #71

... OneGrassRoot Apr 2016 #108

I have long that, while most times your job must be very rewarding, ScreamingMeemie Apr 2016 #93

Thank you Bettie Apr 2016 #103

By the way, as for the photographer, that's a service a lot of hospitals offer for FREE. Butterbean Apr 2016 #60

I personally don't believe that memorializing... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #63

A lot of people don't at the time. Butterbean Apr 2016 #64

Thanks for your insights on this issue.... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #67

No problem. It saddens me that you find it so repulsive. Butterbean Apr 2016 #70

Well, I thought we were at an impass... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #72

It is not a Death Dance 4Q2u2 Apr 2016 #75

Thank you for this and I'm so sorry you went through that, but glad you had kind nurses. n/t Butterbean Apr 2016 #81

Our first died during labor as well Bettie Apr 2016 #104

I treasure the pictures of my son... OneGrassRoot Apr 2016 #74

+100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 4Q2u2 Apr 2016 #78

Hugs to you and your wife. Butterbean Apr 2016 #80

It is (in my opinion) one of the most painful events a person/couple has to endure... ScreamingMeemie Apr 2016 #91

... OneGrassRoot Apr 2016 #97

I am so sorry for the loss of your son, your baby Joshua. N/t Butterbean Apr 2016 #79

I'm the oldest sibling, and I am the one who remembers my mother's miscarriages and stillbirth... Hekate Apr 2016 #88

As a child, that must have been so hard for you. ScreamingMeemie Apr 2016 #92

Thank you, Hekate... OneGrassRoot Apr 2016 #98

I am so sorry you had to read this kind of stuff, here, of all places. ScreamingMeemie Apr 2016 #90

... OneGrassRoot Apr 2016 #109

I'm a he... reACTIONary Apr 2016 #94

No, read what I wrote again... OneGrassRoot Apr 2016 #96

This message was self-deleted by its author UtahJosh Apr 2016 #105

So sorry for your loss Bettie Apr 2016 #106

... OneGrassRoot Apr 2016 #107

As the mother of 2 preemies who were in the NICU, EllieBC Apr 2016 #76

Yes, one of my friends worked PICU and they go there as well. Butterbean Apr 2016 #82

For 170 years photographers have helped grieving families... Hekate Apr 2016 #85

I agree, it is in poor taste to disparage how others deal with death. Thor_MN Apr 2016 #99

We lost our first child at birth Bettie Apr 2016 #100

My neighbor had a baby born too early to live and was probably one of these babies. CTyankee Apr 2016 #110

Did you really read the article? Raine1967 Apr 2016 #112