General Discussion

Chan790

(20,176 posts)

155. She didn't want them either.

Thu May 26, 2016, 10:22 PM

May 2016

She wanted me to keep them; it is par for the course for her emotional manipulation and controlling behavior. I made it clear that if she didn't want them, they were going in the garbage. I made every effort to get her to keep them because they were important to her. I don't want them. They're not important to me. I don't want to be reminded of my childhood...it was hell on Earth trapped between an emotionally-abusive alcoholic with BPD and a violent white-supremicist alcoholic that tried to murder me in my sleep. Who wants to be reminded of that shit by boxes of other people's garbage?

I also don't want my baby pictures...and she's learned her lesson and stopped trying to foist those on me too because she knows they'll be going in the dumpster too. So will my plaster footprints and any other mementos of a childhood I typically deny having ever happened.

She says "You'll want them someday to show your own kids and put on your own tree."

I'm surgically sterile and child-free. I also don't decorate for Christmas. I'm never getting married, I don't believe in it. The future she wants and alludes to is never going to happen. I'm an adult...it's my life and they're my possessions to do with as I please.

What this is, is her hoarding and me not being willing to be forced to hang onto garbage that I not only don't want, but any emotional attachments I did have to them is negative. I don't have any regrets about any of this.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

166 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Stuff it: Millennials nix their parents� treasures [View all] Jesus Malverde May 2016 OP

How the hell is 1964 still part of the "baby boom" when actual boomers were old enough to have kids? arcane1 May 2016 #1

Nineteen years, pretty typical for a "generation", the Rolling Stones, Jane Fonda, and Audie Murphy braddy May 2016 #5

Yeah, it always seemed odd to me. I'm practically the same generation as my own parents :) arcane1 May 2016 #12

I think it's odd how the 1960s is attributed to the boomers. braddy May 2016 #15

I've thought that too. LisaM May 2016 #30

It depends on what you mean, but for government and institutions, yes. braddy May 2016 #37

And they elected Reagan in a landslide in 1984. former9thward May 2016 #160

Everyone voted for Reagan in 1984. Why pick on boomers? braddy May 2016 #162

How many years to a generation wain May 2016 #135

The boomers for instance are 1946-1964, the silent generation 1925-1945. braddy May 2016 #137

'63-'65 is considered on the edge between BB and Gen X. HuckleB May 2016 #11

I'd always heard it described as "Generation Jones" - 60=65 hatrack May 2016 #38

That's new to me, but interesting! HuckleB May 2016 #40

Yup, as in "Keeping Up With the Jones" n/t TexasBushwhacker May 2016 #77

First Desribed by the person who coined it as 54-65 TuxedoKat May 2016 #142

No way Reter May 2016 #154

Actually, I prefer the baby boom years SheilaT May 2016 #56

Thanks for the recommendation, it sounds like a fascinating book! arcane1 May 2016 #65

Generations is SheilaT May 2016 #75

Thanks again! I'm adding it to my list now :) arcane1 May 2016 #79

Good. SheilaT May 2016 #81

Their 1997 book "The Fourth Turning" is also a good read. Odin2005 May 2016 #125

It is based on birth rates drmeow May 2016 #84

Sociologists William Strauss and Neil Howe start Generation X at 1961. Odin2005 May 2016 #124

probably a consequence of having had to buy everything on their own IF they could MisterP May 2016 #2

Midcentury was big in the mid '0s, but it's fading now. HuckleB May 2016 #10

I don't know if its fading TexasBushwhacker May 2016 #67

this just seems stupid Skittles May 2016 #3

I don't know. Some of those couches were made to last. HuckleB May 2016 #7

We re-upholstered ours. tazkcmo May 2016 #29

Those frames were seriously incredible! HuckleB May 2016 #33

And heavy! tazkcmo May 2016 #35

Oh, indeed. Still, I don't see titanium couches taking over the planet, just yet. HuckleB May 2016 #52

Holy shit, after that much time there must have been another 40 lbs of dandruff and dirt snooper2 May 2016 #165

Bad Move throwing out that couch GulfCoast66 May 2016 #23

And some of them have serious steel keeping them together, to boot. HuckleB May 2016 #34

Or as in the case of some of my parents' furniture - all wood frames csziggy May 2016 #63

Reupholstering can cost as much as a new couch! TexasBushwhacker May 2016 #82

My 60's couch 840high May 2016 #89

My wife and I wouldn't take our boomer parents couch if they parachuted it down into our house GummyBearz May 2016 #158

ZZZZzzz. Classic sloppy journalism filler. HuckleB May 2016 #4

A couch is one thing melman May 2016 #6

Most people would, if you actually did a real survey, I suspect. HuckleB May 2016 #8

Exactly. If this article were based on anything more than the author's whimsy Quantess May 2016 #127

What do I need silver service for 12 for when most of my friends can't afford Dixie cups? n/t Chan790 May 2016 #17

Uh melman May 2016 #20

Not to me. Chan790 May 2016 #24

The tragedy here is not that you threw memories away, SheilaT May 2016 #60

You Threw RobinA May 2016 #152

She didn't want them either. Chan790 May 2016 #155

I've got some old sport coats that don't fit anymore, you interested? snooper2 May 2016 #166

When I was younger I did not want it because it had to be jwirr May 2016 #144

I've got two plastic tubs worth of silver AnnieBW May 2016 #146

Sell the items and give your kids the $.Take digital pics of somestuff from their youth and send it Person 2713 May 2016 #9

Most of the stuff... you can't GIVE it away... Bigmack May 2016 #13

It is, the shops here are just full of stuff. IMO the whole notion of what possessions are is RKP5637 May 2016 #73

Picture -scan in the computer yeoman6987 May 2016 #157

That, is a great idea!!! RKP5637 May 2016 #164

They'll wish they changed their minds in ten years malaise May 2016 #14

I agree JustAnotherGen May 2016 #16

That's amazing malaise May 2016 #19

Speaking as a veteran of the Harvest Gold shag carpet generation . . . . hatrack May 2016 #42

ROFL malaise May 2016 #45

Oh, it gets worse . . . hatrack May 2016 #53

Haven't seen it malaise May 2016 #54

That was a fun movie. Blue_In_AK May 2016 #95

Ahhh, and Harvest Gold appliances, and wow, those olivicola kitchens!!! RKP5637 May 2016 #80

To be fair, the house I describe was the first house we owned that I remembered . . . hatrack May 2016 #88

My Grandmother's RobinA May 2016 #153

Some of those appliances were built to last forever. We have an Oster from back then and it RKP5637 May 2016 #156

After planting that image in our minds... brer cat May 2016 #47

Or at least post some photos! hatrack May 2016 #66

Before I moved across country I offered my grown kids my stuff. dixiegrrrrl May 2016 #18

Yep they're worth real money as well malaise May 2016 #21

Art is rough, because sometimes it just don't match your taste. LeftyMom May 2016 #25

I know what you mean but you have it malaise May 2016 #28

Indeed. HuckleB May 2016 #39

Too bad you could not have given such a precious remembrance to one of her best friends dixiegrrrrl May 2016 #139

Let's say something is worth $500 Jesus Malverde May 2016 #113

You're probably right. Now owning "things" is very big right now. LisaM May 2016 #31

Agree. Their parents' stuff will end up in antique stores mainer May 2016 #32

Yep malaise May 2016 #46

Either I'm wrong about my age or I'm in the wrong house. LeftyMom May 2016 #22

Well, I don't fall in the survey (born in '67) LannyDeVaney May 2016 #26

You're right. It's always the same old transition between generations, for the most part. HuckleB May 2016 #36

yes it is DonCoquixote May 2016 #74

This part resonates Jesus Malverde May 2016 #110

so i'm selfish because i don't want any of the china sets my mom keeps pushing on me? fizzgig May 2016 #49

Way to misinterpret a post. HuckleB May 2016 #51

well, how do you interpret this? fizzgig May 2016 #58

Cherry picking is fun! HuckleB May 2016 #59

are you actually going to respond to anything i have to say? fizzgig May 2016 #61

Are you? HuckleB May 2016 #62

i have no idea what you're talking about at this point fizzgig May 2016 #69

Lol. HuckleB May 2016 #107

Yeah, you are selfish. LannyDeVaney May 2016 #78

you going to explain how? fizzgig May 2016 #133

Selfish. Lol. RedCappedBandit May 2016 #76

As someone born in 1980, you sound like one of those "damned kids these days" when you say that MillennialDem May 2016 #93

I guess you missed the 'get off my lawn' reference. I admit as much ... LannyDeVaney May 2016 #96

There's a difference between aging and becoming an old fusspot :p Especially when you're not MillennialDem May 2016 #97

Again, please pay attention to my original reply ... LannyDeVaney May 2016 #98

Oh look, another Hillary supporter bashing us Millennials. Odin2005 May 2016 #126

Given housing costs and "the gig economy" JackInGreen May 2016 #27

Sigh. I remember everything I owned fit in my little station wagon. And I lived in there too. hunter May 2016 #41

When I was VERY young, and first on my own, SheilaT May 2016 #103

It has ever been thus. nolabear May 2016 #43

Antiques arent in fashion right now. Minimalism is in. ErikJ May 2016 #44

Where do you live? HuckleB May 2016 #50

Portland ErikJ May 2016 #55

You went to the wrong places to sell it, then. HuckleB May 2016 #57

Well it was on Craigslist for 2 months and no bites. ErikJ May 2016 #72

There are much better places for items like that. HuckleB May 2016 #109

Oh, dear. Ever since I was in my 20's, SheilaT May 2016 #64

I'm 59 and I used to be fascinated by them TexasBushwhacker May 2016 #85

I have actually seen reproductions of those old, wonderful, SheilaT May 2016 #104

Do you have any nieces? tammywammy May 2016 #159

I do have nieces, two over 30, one over 50. SheilaT May 2016 #161

Aren't "Millennials" rather fond of Vinyl LPs? HuckleB May 2016 #48

Vinyl is making a resurgence but in new releases mostly...nt Jesus Malverde May 2016 #111

Actually, there are tons of rereleases, as well. HuckleB May 2016 #112

My point is the phenomena is not in dads record collection...nt Jesus Malverde May 2016 #115

A lot of it is, however. HuckleB May 2016 #116

In my family the problem is distributing the stuff from earlier generations csziggy May 2016 #68

A lot of those kinds of documents and pictures and such Mariana May 2016 #91

Oh yes - that is what I spend a LOT of my time doing csziggy May 2016 #92

Bless you. Mariana May 2016 #105

I have my everyday forks XemaSab May 2016 #70

just because an item has sentimental value for a parent doesn't mean it will have sentimental liberal_at_heart May 2016 #71

I heard most millennial are either living at home or moving back. They know where the stuff is. LOL Laser102 May 2016 #83

Exactly. This article is a generalization based on an anecdote. HuckleB May 2016 #114

Our girls don't fit that mold liberal N proud May 2016 #86

I don't want it IronLionZion May 2016 #87

I'm becoming more and more of a minimalist ThoughtCriminal May 2016 #90

I'm almost 70 Blue_In_AK May 2016 #94

Just read this again melman May 2016 #99

I'm sure you are right about that! Quantess May 2016 #163

This Thanksgiving, we are having a post dinner "trunk opening" SoCalDem May 2016 #100

tupperware shanti May 2016 #150

This is nothing new. NanceGreggs May 2016 #101

4 generations of shifting stuff all over the country gwheezie May 2016 #102

now, i am not the biggest fan of my MOM's stuff. but my aunt, my paternal grandma, & do NOT get pansypoo53219 May 2016 #106

Estate sales are amazing. I'm always astounded at some of the items that go for RKP5637 May 2016 #131

New Stuff --> Tat/Kitsch --> Antique MowCowWhoHow III May 2016 #108

What about the fuckin' hipsters? I thought they loved retro kitsch? Blue_Tires May 2016 #117

Gen y are millennials Jesus Malverde May 2016 #118

The term "Millennial Generation" was coined in 1991 to describe us 80s babies. Odin2005 May 2016 #129

Yep. nt bemildred May 2016 #119

I have the same attitude as these millenials, and I'm in my 40s. Quantess May 2016 #120

In a culture that values having lots of things, rich people having multiple houses as an example Jesus Malverde May 2016 #121

Back when people didn't move so often and life was more static, AND Quantess May 2016 #122

Yep, that is often what happens, "Do your things own you or do you own your things?" RKP5637 May 2016 #128

It's not easy, but when it's gone, you most likely won't miss it. Quantess May 2016 #134

Yep, especially the last part, not really missing them after they're gone. What always amazes me is RKP5637 May 2016 #140

Well yes and no. It's market value. Quantess May 2016 #148

there are people in this thread calling us selfish fizzgig May 2016 #136

Yeah, I saw. That's silly. They just don't get it. Quantess May 2016 #141

Who wants their parents' hideous 70s/80s furniture? Odin2005 May 2016 #123

and then after you dump it. it appears on antiques roadshow for mega bucks dembotoz May 2016 #130

I'm just going to give all my furniture away to people I know who need it ... polly7 May 2016 #132

probably because most of us live in cities and have no space La Lioness Priyanka May 2016 #138

Exactly. This article really picked a nerve on me, so out-of-touch. Quantess May 2016 #143

Hell, I don't want my parents' crap, either! AnnieBW May 2016 #145

Yeah, because my generation could not WAIT to wear our pop's bell bottoms! Rex May 2016 #147

This doesn't seem like anything unique to Baby Boomers and Millennials. Zing Zing Zingbah May 2016 #149

I'm a Boomer, and when my mother and stepfather (both born 1921) Lydia Leftcoast May 2016 #151