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athena

(4,187 posts)
2. You're missing the forest for the trees.
Fri Jun 3, 2016, 01:41 PM
Jun 2016

First of all, you greatly underestimate what misogyny is. Misogyny is not just a matter of people using disparaging terms to refer to women. If you were a woman, you would realize that misogyny goes way beyond words. You would find that you don't get promoted for the same level of work that gets your male colleagues promoted. You would learn that speaking your mind in a meeting, the same way your male colleagues do, results in a bad review or even a reprimand. The tiniest bit of anger or irritability you showed in the workplace would get you labeled as "unprofessional" or "out of control". People would dismiss your comments and ideas, and then applaud them when later made by a male coworker. You would get paid less than your male coworkers doing the same job. And you would find that it takes a lot more money, time, and thought to present what is considered a professional appearance when you're a woman than when you're a man. (It actually goes way beyond all this, but I don't want to take the discussion too far off topic.)

Words hurt. But if words spoken by a handful of people are all you have in your argument that the world is a misandristic place, all you're demonstrating is that you have not actually bothered to listen to feminists.

Feminists have always known that sexism hurts men as well as women. The same system that says women are valued for their appearance and must spend time making themselves beautiful says that men can't dress and present themselves the way they wish. The same system that devalues women for supposedly being emotional and fickle forces men to miss out on what an emotionally fulfilling life could bring them. The same system that says women's real job is to bear and raise children robs men of the close relationships they could have with their children. Sexism hurts women more than men, but it hurts men, too. Just the same way that racism hurts minority races most but also hurts the majority race in subtle ways the majority does not always realize. Instead of declaring that misandry is the problem, try to see that sexism, the way it is practiced by our society, hurts everyone and that it's in your own best interest to fight it.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

I'm genuinely sorry about your experience. Tal Vez Jun 2016 #1
You're missing the forest for the trees. athena Jun 2016 #2
The succinctness and clarity of your post is almost as good as its content. LanternWaste Jun 2016 #3
That was so beautifully explained. blue neen Jun 2016 #4
Thank you, LanternWaste and blue neen, for the kind words. athena Jun 2016 #10
I agree with you, Athena... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #12
Agree yuiyoshida Jun 2016 #43
How do you reconcile holding others to a higher standard than you yourself employ? LanternWaste Jun 2016 #5
I hold myself to the same standard... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #7
the very definition of holding others to a higher standard than you hold yourself to. LanternWaste Jun 2016 #16
Or you could get to know me in real life... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #19
An observation is not a judgement. LanternWaste Jun 2016 #25
Okay. Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #31
But it's all part of the same problem. athena Jun 2016 #21
Is this because your use of "HillaryHoochies" got your post hidden? cwydro Jun 2016 #6
BernieBros... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #8
So upped the ante by getting in the mud with whoever said that to you. cwydro Jun 2016 #9
Okay... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #11
Let's examine the difference... whatthehey Jun 2016 #13
Well..... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #17
Anywhere from neutral to insulting, but that's irrelevant whatthehey Jun 2016 #24
In my very large circle... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #28
Even though your circle is large... Blanks Jun 2016 #60
That's understandable... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #63
I agree, it's not meant as a compliment... Blanks Jun 2016 #65
Hey...if we replaced Hillary Clinton with Elizabeth Warren... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #66
Your wife fucking you over doesn't make her or any sufrommich Jun 2016 #14
I don't doubt he was hurt by his divorce REP Jun 2016 #15
BernieBros.... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #18
It is not a pejorative that implies sexual licentiousness REP Jun 2016 #20
The intent was not to label other women as promiscuous... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #23
I agree Bernie Bro is dumb, but "Hilary Hoochies" is offensively dumb REP Jun 2016 #33
Did you just say that I was cuckolded? Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #35
Weren't you? "Two years ago, my wife embarked on an affair with a wealthy man." REP Jun 2016 #40
I don't know if you're aware... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #45
Oh, irony. REP Jun 2016 #48
I apologized... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #51
Not only... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #53
I'd also like to point out... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #22
The suspicion may stem from the fact that many of your recent posts use the word "bitch" LanternWaste Jun 2016 #26
In real life...I call women that are jerks "assholes"... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #29
The only thing I "suspect" is that only one side of the story has been told here REP Jun 2016 #34
Yes.... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #36
There are always two sides when a relationship fails REP Jun 2016 #42
Already apologized for it...and explained why i used it. Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #47
So stop behaving abhorrently by calling women "Hoochies" REP Jun 2016 #49
I apologized... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #54
If I had fucked her over by cheating on her... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #39
You seem like such a nice guy. /nt yardwork Jun 2016 #27
I am... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #30
This is not a good way to work your anger toward your wife. aikoaiko Jun 2016 #32
No. Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #37
And seriously... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #41
I think you've been wounded, maybe even damaged, by your failed marriage... aikoaiko Jun 2016 #52
I'm racking up a transparency page... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #55
Victim blaming. Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #38
... just not the way you had hoped. REP Jun 2016 #46
No...i didn't hope for anybody to prove my point... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #59
Been there... sendero Jun 2016 #44
And I don't think many of these posters... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #50
We've all been hurt Buddy. cwydro Jun 2016 #57
I loved the hell out of her cwydro... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #58
Yes, I sure do. cwydro Jun 2016 #61
20 months.... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #62
20 months is not very long. cwydro Jun 2016 #64
Thank you very much.... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #67
I've been there. cwydro Jun 2016 #68
This message was self-deleted by its author TM99 Jun 2016 #69
What's stunning to me... Buddyblazon Jun 2016 #56
Locking... one_voice Jun 2016 #70
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