Why these radicals drink, watch porn etc. Some background

[agnostic102]

3. Thank you!

Skinner for allowing this forum and its great being here. Wanted to further expand upon religious guilt. (i wasnt raised christian or come from a christian family so maybe a christian can speak from there experience)

But in religion there is a lot of guilt. And having this over your heard is a heavy burden to carry. let me give you an example.

I left islam in my teens and become very "anti religion" in my twenties. Now married and grown up i still have lot of muslim family and friends.

A muslim family im very close to have a restaurant where i love eating. there food is amazing. Except during ramadan when we couldn't eat till about 8 or so i would avoid going into that restaurant. I know it sounds silly but this family just assumes im Muslim so any other time i went into there restaurant they would bring me plates of food and a drink etc. not during ramadan. they assumed i was fasting like they were. Now in the middle east breaken fast is serouse offense so that reason alone is enough not to do it. At least not in front of poeple. But here in western countries the family wouldnt have hated me or anything if had eaten. They might have looked twice or ask me why im not fasting but wouldn't love me any less.

This is where that guilt comes in. Even though i dont believe in ramadan anymore. because of society pressure and to keep this family in good faith with me since i care about them a lot. I would pretend i was fasting. Id come in for dinners and break fast with them and i would act like how tired and hungry i was.. but the truth was i had eaten like 4 hours before.

Now the question is why i havent told them im not muslim is a much more serouse topic. My wife told me just tell them you arent muslim (shes white raised catholic) and i told her " hun, this is not a joke, this isnt political statement, this isnt i left islam and i dont care who knows about it bravodo, my life is in danger. if word spreads in the community about me, maybe this family wouldnt do anything but a friend of theres a cousin an uncle might." leaving islam is no joke and when i tried to explain that to my western friends some are baffled others role there eyes. but we are talking about something very very serous and very very deadly. its not a " oh look at me thing" my life is on the line and yes is it much much lower risk then when i was in the middle east? yes but those fears still linger with you. Especially when you watch executions of poeple who are accused of being an apostate. its not a pleasant site.