Trump Supporters Can't Wait to Get America Back

[Fritz Walter]

10. I have the solution, thanks to Douglas Adams (RIP)

Between Election Day and Inauguration Day, we have to get these people off this planet -- let's face it: there's no other country that will accept Drumpf supporters, and they're not likely to willingly go to a place where 'Merican is not the official language.

So, let's ask Elon Musk and other aerospace entrepreneurs to build a giant spaceworthy Ark to cart them off to another planet. While the low-information types will gladly follow Drumpf aboard the vessel, there might be some who'd resist. So we have to come up with a plausible story.

Douglas Adams wrote about the Golgafrinchans' fear of some planet-wide catastrophe -- enormous mutant star-goat, twelve-foot piranha bees -- that persuaded an entire useless third of their population to evacuate.

What would persuade ALL Drumpf supporters to board a spaceship and evacuate this planet?

Hillary's presidency -- while abhorrent to them -- won't persuade all of them to give up their SUVs and double-wide trailers.
Zika virus -- unlikely.
Same-sex marriage -- maybe.

What instills the "flight" response in this group? We have 3 months. Let's get cracking on this.

The prospect of sharing oxygen with these people beyond mid-January is too horrible to contemplate.