General Discussion

quakerboy

(14,869 posts)

148. Your friends are faulty then

Reply to obamanut2012 (Reply #55)

Fri Jul 6, 2012, 01:37 AM

Jul 2012

Sorry for bagging on your friends, but the kind of people who would understand but pretend they didnt aren't my kind of people.

We have been participating in a website, couchsurfing.org. We have had some really cool visitors from overseas. The first timers are pretty oblivious. The more well traveled understand that tipping is expected, but still have some trouble with it, as there are different levels expected in different countries, and somewhat from state to state. Some states do not depress the wages of servers as much as others. And here in the US the expectation can vary even by individual location. At a quick cart or a fast food joint, your spare change into the tip jar is generally appreciated. Try to leave that at a nicer restaurant, and you are a cheapskate. And then the currency difference is tougher for some than for others as well.

Ive made up some tips after the fact, so as not to embarrass my guests, and most of them ask afterwards if they gave the proper amount. Its been about 50/50, at least by my standards. I generally try to take them places I know the people, so it's not an issue, they know I will make it up the next time if it seems low.

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My co-worker lectured me on rudeness of a large tip [View all] Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 OP

Anyone who has ever worked as a server in a restaurant knows SoutherDem Jul 2012 #1

I leave larger than 20% sometimes. Certainly hope I wasn't "Degrading" anyone Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #2

You weren't. The coworker referenced in the letter made that up to justify her stinginess. yardwork Jul 2012 #47

If I leave a 15% tip it means the service was crappy LynneSin Jul 2012 #84

I was standing outside a London hotel, when my cab drove up, an American couple asked to share Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #102

Agreed. I have never left less than 20% no matter how bad the service was. The main reason Booster Jul 2012 #3

Me, too, for a couple of reasons. JaneQPublic Jul 2012 #5

You have some excellent karma awaiting you and I applaud your spirit! - n/t coalition_unwilling Jul 2012 #21

Thanks! But it's also because the math is easier for 20% ;-) (nt) JaneQPublic Jul 2012 #49

lol That's one of my main reasons also. Booster Jul 2012 #74

Definitely a bit easier than 15% or some other fraction. Because 25% is coalition_unwilling Jul 2012 #88

I always did too. Then I became a server to earn some extra cash a few years back and then stevenleser Jul 2012 #112

I've heard comments... Scootaloo Jul 2012 #11

I always ask the question of those people: if all servers "got real jobs", who would wait on them? NYC Liberal Jul 2012 #23

The mind boggles Scootaloo Jul 2012 #26

I lasted 3 weeks as a waitress Warpy Jul 2012 #12

"Co-irker!!" I love it! nt MADem Jul 2012 #25

Me too. stuntcat Jul 2012 #89

When I eat out I leave one forth to one third of the bill as a tip. They work hard roguevalley Jul 2012 #15

Always leave at least 20%, but often wonder if the server actually gets the full tip. Fla Dem Jul 2012 #41

Usually the wait staff keep their tips -- BUT obamanut2012 Jul 2012 #52

I've never worked in a restaurant where we pooled tips. antigone382 Jul 2012 #98

I did 3 months as a waiter nearly 30 years ago and now that I can afford it, 20% is starting..... Rowdyboy Jul 2012 #4

Minimum wage is $2.13 per hour for restaurant workers, is it not? Manifestor_of_Light Jul 2012 #6

+100 Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #8

Which is why foreigners are such awful tippers... Scootaloo Jul 2012 #9

Foreigners don't understand the American tipping system. MADem Jul 2012 #27

I think most understand it very well obamanut2012 Jul 2012 #55

Your friends are faulty then quakerboy Jul 2012 #148

Then I guess lots of other people's friends are "faulty," too obamanut2012 Jul 2012 #157

This is true quakerboy Jul 2012 #160

I'll have to keep this in mind laundry_queen Jul 2012 #68

It's commonly called a "waitress wage". xmas74 Jul 2012 #90

That's not actually true in CA, they have to pay minimum wage. Sirveri Jul 2012 #133

That's the federal wage. xmas74 Jul 2012 #159

Right, I think CA is 8$/hr. Point is the same though. Sirveri Jul 2012 #162

Problem is quite often xmas74 Jul 2012 #163

20% is standard Scootaloo Jul 2012 #122

But I'll bet... WinstonSmith4740 Jul 2012 #145

Is it standard, or should it be standard? quakerboy Jul 2012 #149

We still have a grocery store here (an IGA) but its just cheaper for us with our limited budget cstanleytech Jul 2012 #10

Catfish isn't a "trash fish" obamanut2012 Jul 2012 #54

I'll second that. I've never heard catfish called "trash fish" before. Arkansas Granny Jul 2012 #58

Outside of the south, it really is. Chan790 Jul 2012 #64

If that's the case, then I feel sorry for y'all. The catfish we get around here is delicious. Arkansas Granny Jul 2012 #75

A person really has to know how to cook it right xmas74 Jul 2012 #91

Most catfish Go Vols Jul 2012 #96

They are bottom feeders are they not? Manifestor_of_Light Jul 2012 #108

I'm used to someone catching it xmas74 Jul 2012 #127

In some States, yes, in others no. Here in Oregon, they get minimum wage of $8.80 an hour Bluenorthwest Jul 2012 #66

And restaurant prices are no higher in Oregon than in other states Lydia Leftcoast Jul 2012 #71

Just as an FYI catfish is a really great fish LynneSin Jul 2012 #85

I leave what I can afford cstanleytech Jul 2012 #7

If you should question this, I recently found one answer that will dispel all doubts. calimary Jul 2012 #13

good link. Going to check it out. thanks. Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #105

How much (or do you) tip for counter service? woodsprite Jul 2012 #14

When I go to the coffeeshop, Delphinus Jul 2012 #36

I go to Dunkins a couple times a day Marrah_G Jul 2012 #40

I leave a buck in the jar. 2, if my kid has taken her sweet time ordering.... msanthrope Jul 2012 #61

My son worked as a server for a xxqqqzme Jul 2012 #16

I hope the kicker when to jail Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #107

I often tip 10% to 15% on the card customerserviceguy Jul 2012 #152

Tipping in Japan or leaving gratuity is often viewed as being rude. ErikJ Jul 2012 #17

I think before traveling to any country you should understand tipping policies LynneSin Jul 2012 #86

I worked as a server for MANY years. toddwv Jul 2012 #18

"Servers know which regulars tip and which ones don't." KansDem Jul 2012 #70

I know someone who was a waitress and worked bar who liked the job but not the pay Spitfire of ATJ Jul 2012 #19

I do the same. Phlem Jul 2012 #20

10% can John Robinson Jul 2012 #22

How very cheap a tip that is. nt MADem Jul 2012 #24

Why? DiverDave Jul 2012 #30

. Iggo Jul 2012 #72

ty, and notice the DiverDave Jul 2012 #97

Rule of thumb, tight wad... Javaman Jul 2012 #87

I hope your reputation for generosity precedes you wherever you go. kestrel91316 Jul 2012 #92

If you can't afford 5% more, SHOULD you even be eating out? Kinda ir-re$pon$ible don't you think? patrice Jul 2012 #116

I'd really be in trouble then madokie Jul 2012 #28

20% to start... a la izquierda Jul 2012 #29

Agree. patrice Jul 2012 #118

I start with 20% Sherman A1 Jul 2012 #31

I start at 20% etherealtruth Jul 2012 #32

Apparently I've been "degrading" waitpersons for decades JHB Jul 2012 #33

My husband's father used to say, "If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to go out". canoeist52 Jul 2012 #34

Agree with Delphinus Jul 2012 #37

+1 JHB Jul 2012 #59

Agree. I'll stay home if I cannot xxqqqzme Jul 2012 #121

My mom waitressed - and I also start at 20%. nt TBF Jul 2012 #35

"Rude" to leave a large tip? Not in the real world. trixicopper Jul 2012 #38

Welcome to DU! Lisa0825 Jul 2012 #135

I hate the concept of tips. Sirveri Jul 2012 #39

yes. It baffles me that people here don't have a broader bbgrunt Jul 2012 #119

When I heard that someone was claiming the waitress would be denigrated by a large tip, I started to Texas Lawyer Jul 2012 #129

I gotta H2O Man Jul 2012 #42

It's none of her f**king business. nt bemildred Jul 2012 #43

I'm lazy, so it's always at least 20%. Buns_of_Fire Jul 2012 #44

Here's my system. I round up, drop a zero to get 10%, then double it. yardwork Jul 2012 #50

Yep, that works, too! (Even though I notice you introduced some advanced cipherin', there.) Buns_of_Fire Jul 2012 #67

I kinda do that, too... Phentex Jul 2012 #78

It is ok to ask fellow diners what might be an appropriate tip. It is not ok to lecture someone yellowcanine Jul 2012 #45

My theory: The criticism that people issue at others is most fitting for the person criticizing KurtNYC Jul 2012 #46

Reservoir Dogs - Mr. Pink Doesn't Tip (explicit language warning) demwing Jul 2012 #48

15% is the minimum demwing Jul 2012 #51

I always leave at least 20%... vi5 Jul 2012 #53

If you really love the food, tip the kitchen too. greymattermom Jul 2012 #56

One of my favorite chefs when he opened his new restaurant... Chan790 Jul 2012 #62

In many restaurants the servers are required to pass on a percentage of the tips to the kitchen. yellowcanine Jul 2012 #115

Your co-worker is a jerk Bettie Jul 2012 #57

I have never worked in a tip bearing job, Not Me Jul 2012 #60

awesome story. Tip for people staying in hotels - try to find your housekeeper and tip her Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #100

I remember my mom telling my grandmother to tip the hotel maid. Manifestor_of_Light Jul 2012 #111

When it comes to tipping time I always round up. 1-Old-Man Jul 2012 #63

Wow. They'll come up with anything to justify their stinginess. CrispyQ Jul 2012 #65

Your coworker's a cheap-ass bastard. Iggo Jul 2012 #69

Yep. That's really all there is to this one. (nt) Posteritatis Jul 2012 #95

I waited tables through high school and college reflection Jul 2012 #73

I've heard that men tip more when with a date Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #103

Geez, "Generous" needed to ask Dear Abby? Gormy Cuss Jul 2012 #76

I like your style reflection Jul 2012 #77

I need to memorize this!... Phentex Jul 2012 #82

Isn't it weird when some one scolds you for being generous? Gormy Cuss Jul 2012 #132

Honey you hold your head high and don't be afraid to leave a good tip if you can afford to. southernyankeebelle Jul 2012 #79

I usually drink water at restaurants, and thus leave 25% or so Doctor_J Jul 2012 #80

Most recently I took my parents out for dinner for my dad's birthday Woody Woodpecker Jul 2012 #81

You can leave a large tip any time you damn well please. aquart Jul 2012 #83

As a former Server and Bar-tender, I'm so glad ... 1StrongBlackMan Jul 2012 #93

I didn't know that ... I will tip in cash from now on ... littlewolf Jul 2012 #104

And when you do ... 1StrongBlackMan Jul 2012 #110

ok here is a question ... littlewolf Jul 2012 #124

Maybe ... 1StrongBlackMan Jul 2012 #126

I believe that the IRS has clamped down on that quakerboy Jul 2012 #151

This is true ... 1StrongBlackMan Jul 2012 #155

thanks for this..... dhill926 Jul 2012 #138

I would be curious quakerboy Jul 2012 #150

Actually ... 1StrongBlackMan Jul 2012 #156

Who cares what the other person says. jonthebru Jul 2012 #94

Even 40 years ago I ohheckyeah Jul 2012 #99

Newsflash, your coworker is a stingy asshole. n/t Egalitarian Thug Jul 2012 #101

I normal service is 15 pct. littlewolf Jul 2012 #106

Ask the co-worker what minimum wage is & when was the last time they worked for it. nt patrice Jul 2012 #109

Ask the co-worker how many hours s/he has to work to make rent/mortgage or car payment. patrice Jul 2012 #113

and what effect that amount of time might have upon quality of family life. nt patrice Jul 2012 #114

If you can't afford to eat out (and tip) bring a lunch 4th law of robotics Jul 2012 #117

I tip large in bars TrogL Jul 2012 #120

Dayum, the coworker had the nerve to go threre. DCKit Jul 2012 #123

$5 minimum Rabid_Rabbit Jul 2012 #125

I hate waitresses and try to degrade them at every opportunity hughee99 Jul 2012 #128

Ha! Brits are like that too. My cousin, a Londoner, was EMBARASSED by my tipping in a pub. PassingFair Jul 2012 #137

Indiana has 7% sales tax left is right Jul 2012 #130

I don't go out to eat unless I can leave a LARGE tip Th1onein Jul 2012 #131

Just call her Mr. Pink. tclambert Jul 2012 #134

As a 61 year old waiter I can't say that I have never had a tip large enough to insult me. marble falls Jul 2012 #136

As a server, and someone who depends on tips... WillParkinson Jul 2012 #139

I recently spent several days with girlfriends I've known for >50 years. We were in DC. mnhtnbb Jul 2012 #140

My wife and I are big tippers. My uncle, brother, and two good friends - all quite wealthy - NRaleighLiberal Jul 2012 #141

With republicans it is all about selfishness. n/t Hotler Jul 2012 #142

"What is it about being served that makes people forget their manners?" tpsbmam Jul 2012 #143

good find. going to read the whole thing Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #161

I rarely tip below 20% and usually more - and I always try to leave the tip in cash dflprincess Jul 2012 #144

I put myself through college waiting tables.... Walk away Jul 2012 #146

20% for waiter/waitress. Almost like a robot. I don't want to think about it at all. limpyhobbler Jul 2012 #147

Searvers rely on tips to survive. liberal N proud Jul 2012 #153

"She even said it "degrades" the server. " This is the old degrades the recipient argument used retread Jul 2012 #154

During the time of my life that my 2nd job was waiting on tables, LWolf Jul 2012 #158