Listen up SJWs, All Of The Planets Are Men! [View all]

[wildeyed]

(Satire from The Onion, in case you are impaired)

This is every single debate with these morons, ever.

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/might-not-be-politically-correct-enough-you-overly-1411

Like it or not, I’m the kind of guy who says the truth whether or not it’s unpopular. I don’t cater to so-called political correctness or some sort of progressive agenda. So, I don’t care if this offends all you overly sensitive social justice warriors out there who make a living out of getting outraged over basic facts, but all of the planets are men.

When you look up into the night sky, do you see any women? No. You see a bunch of gigantic dudes hanging around in space, orbiting the sun. This is empirically true, and anyone who isn’t an SJW blinded by some toxic progressive agenda can see it clearly.

Sorry, but that’s just the way it is. Mars is a big man. Venus is a man with a booming deep voice. Mercury is a man with a high-pitched voice like a little boy. Jupiter is a grade-A slab of man-beef. Every planet in the solar system is a man and none of them are women. It’s just simple logic.

snip...

If all you SJWs out there don’t like what I have to say, then all I can reply is, come at me. Try to vilify me just for using logic and reason to prove my points about the gender of the planets and how that gender is man. Better yet, prove me wrong. I dare you. Show me the evidence that proves that any of the planets are women.

Oh, that’s right, you can’t. Because all of the planets are big bouncing boys.