Trump Prepares for International Trip - A Dialog

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. And:

DJT: If those people are speaking their foreign languages, they'll understand me if I talk louder, right?
AV: ....

DJT: How many copies of my electoral college victory map should we bring? They should each get one for my talk where I tell them about how I won the election.
AV: Uh, we can bring just one and we'll make as many copies of it as we need...

DJT: Do we have enough #MAGA hats to give everybody as souvenirs?
AV: I'm sure someone will look into that.

DJT: I'd like to build a beautiful golf course in Jerusalem, right up there on the hill. Can you set up a meeting with the owner? I can make a wonderful deal and they can have the very best, most fabulous golf course. And a beautiful hotel, lots of gold.
AV: ....

DJT: Oh, and I don't want to stay in any hotels that aren't mine. In fact, I've decided that we'll fly back to D.C. every evening after these boring meetings so I can have my steak well-done the way I like it.
AV: I'm sorry, sir. We can't do that; there isn't time.
DJT: Then I won't go. Those foreign people will have to come here. And stay in my new hotel.
DJT: Hello?
DJT: Where did you go?