Trump Mobilizes ICE - Sends to Texas to Deport Aliens [View all]

[MineralMan]

Donald J. Trump, PINOOTUS, has mobilized the entire manpower of ICE and is sending them all to Texas. In an exclusive interview with our satirical news team, Trump said, "What better time to catch criminal illegals than when they're trying to escape flood waters. We will probably deport at least 1 million illegals who came here from Mexico and who knows where else in this operation. Harvey is a good thing for America and even Texas. It will free up American jobs for Americans."

When asked how ICE will identify illegals in this disaster, he responded: "We'll sort that out later. But, if they have, you know, an accent, they're outa here. If some can prove their citizenship later, we'll consider letting them return after extreme vetting."