Santorum brought their dead baby back home for the kids to meet

[Ms. Toad]

75. I have been present with a number of families grieving the perinatal loss of a child

and many of those families included children that young. I volunteer as a photographer and digital retouch artist for the organization which took the photos of the Duggar's stillborn child. I have experienced directly how healing both that time with a lost child and photos like the ones the Duggars (and presumably the Santorum's) had taken are. If it was my child, I would not choose to publish the photos on the internet - but I also would not invite the world into my home for a reality TV show.

But back to this particular issue. I have yet to see any of those children expressing anything other than sadness or curiosity, or parents doing more than asking if a child wants to touch or hold their sibling - and I have seen many examine tiny hands, feet, or facial features without prompting. At six, a child knows that another baby was joining the family and having the child just vanish (especially with the rest of the family being so sad) is very scary. Spending some time with the child provides the same transition for children it does for adults. Having pictures of the child with his or her sibling can also be very comforting later on, once the memories fade of how excited that child was to welcome a sibling into the family - how much love that child felt for his or her sibling. Some siblings feel guilty at the loss, and having photos which document the affection can help put things back into perspective.

Certainly, if being around the sibling's body was forced I would agree with you. No one, regardless of age, should be forced to engage in physical affection with a relative (living or dead) - but just because the child is 6 doesn't make the contact forced.

I am no fan of Santorum, but this is not an area in which I take issue with his actions. Each family needs to be able to grieve in ways that are meaningful to it - and actually grieving is a lot more healthy that the "pretend it never happened" attitude that used to prevail when there was a perinatal loss.