Federal judge dismisses Nebraskan's suit against all homosexuals

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

28. Here's the full opinion - short but sweet.

http://abovethelaw.com/2015/05/surprisingly-lawsuit-against-all-homosexuals-summarily-dismissed/2/

And for another good chuckle, have a look at Mayo v. Satan, cited in the Driskell opinion. http://kevinunderhill.typepad.com/Documents/Mayo_v_Satan.pdf

My all-time favorite, though, is Searight v. New Jersey, 412 F. Supp. 413 (D. N.J. 1976): http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=14840990769950902726&q=412+f+supp+413&hl=en&as_sdt=2006 which was the subject of great hilarity when I was in law school. In that case the plaintiff claimed the State of New Jersey "unlawfully injected him in the left eye with a radium electric beam. As a result, he claims that someone now talks to him on the inside of his brain." The court dismissed the case, but offered some helpful suggestions:

The allegations, of course, are of facts which, if they exist, are not yet known to man. Just as Mr. Houdini has so far failed to establish communication from the spirit world (See E. L. Doctorow, "Ragtime", pp. 166-169, Random House, 1974), so the decades of scientific experiments and statistical analysis have failed to establish the existence of "extrasensory perception" (ESP). But, taking the facts as pleaded, and assuming them to be true, they show a case of presumably unlicensed radio communication, a matter which comes within the sole jurisdiction of the Federal Communications Commission, 47 U.S.C. § 151, et seq. And even aside from that, Searight could have blocked the broadcast to the antenna in his brain simply by grounding it. See, for example, Ghirardi, "Modern Radio Servicing", First Edition, p. 572, ff. (Radio & Technical Publishing Co., New York, 1935). Just as delivery trucks for oil and gasoline are "grounded" against the accumulation of charges of static electricity, so on the same principle Searight might have pinned to the back of a trouser leg a short chain of paper clips so that the end would touch the ground and prevent anyone from talking to him inside his brain.