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sofa king

(10,857 posts)
47. Jeb!
Thu Dec 10, 2015, 01:17 AM
Dec 2015

I will say this and I mean it:

I have to hand it to Jeb!, for I could never have figured out how to piss away fifty million dollars of rich assholes' money... in a primary race... in an off-election year....

It's true that the reality show narcissist and the belief-driven brain surgeon have been saying the stupider things, but it is Jeb! who is doing the stupidest things. Jeb! Bush is trailing and losing ground in the worst Presidential field I've seen in over three decades of observation. That is a self-evident problem that speaks volumes about Jeb!'s competence.

But that's only the beginning because Jeb! is dealing from the bottom of his own stacked deck and STILL losing, and still losing ground. This was supposed to be a walkover for Jeb!, and these are just some of the advantages he brought with him, and promptly squandered:

Jeb! has the most money (Trump isn't dumb enough to spend his own) and has been spending it like his brother running up a no-bid Halliburton contract;

Jeb! had his pick of the best staff from three close-enough-to-steal-it Presidential campaigns, with a pre-existing ground game in every single state;

Jeb! has a brother who gets the most coveted political information in the world: a copy of the Presidential Daily Briefing. The legality and ethics of sharing that information of course plays no role in the matter, since we're talking about members of a crime family. But for whatever reason they're not making use of it--probably because President Obama took out the bullet points and now the Bush boys can't actually understand what the Briefing says. Jeb! should be the best-informed candidate, and maybe he is, but his target demographic is too dumb to know it;

Jeb! is perfectly positioned to run against all of those candidates. He's a former governor, and the GOP loves governors; he's running against FIVE Senators, four of whom are going to lose the election for themselves by their votes coming up in the next two weeks. Three of the other governors he had to run against have already dropped out. He doesn't even need to kiss Carly Fiorina's ass because he's got his own running mate, Pam Bondi, already picked out.

Jeb! has been planning this run for SIX YEARS, if not twice that, and this is his plan. This! The "lose to the racist circus conductor" plan.

My guess is that Jeb!'s problem is that he probably really is marginally smarter than his father and his brother--but he's still a fucking moron because a person can be smarter than W and still have a double-digit IQ. He's smart enough to know that he's smarter than they, but not smart enough to run his campaign by himself or even with minimal input from himself, because of that Bush reverse-Midas touch that we all know so well.

But don't count Jeb! out just yet. There are over 40 million emails from the Bush administration that were supposed to be turned over to the National Archives, a huge amount of them revolving around anthrax and 9/11 and two trillion dollars in missing American money, for which everyone from the former President on down is felony-liable (not for the crimes but for the missing emails, which is a violation of the NARA Act). It's an obvious criminal cover-up and if things don't start breaking Jeb!'s way, everyone involved except Dick Cheney will could down the tubes for it (Cheney is a dual citizen of an Arab nation now, so he could take all those bribes from Halliburton, and he never has to return to the US, especially not to testify or face trial.)

So with infinite money, multinational power, and the spur of criminal indictment digging into his fat arse, the economy just might crash, gas just might go back over four bucks a gallon, and other candidates' planes just might fall out of the sky. That's about the sort of thing Jeb is going to need to get close.

But he only needs to get close, doesn't he?

Jeb ole boy DonCoquixote Dec 2015 #1
Once again proving he's even dumber than his brother n/t hibbing Dec 2015 #2
oh my fucking god. he's a hyena in a suit. he's dumber than his several dumb brothers. roguevalley Dec 2015 #46
He is hysterical in a suit rpannier Dec 2015 #48
This is the smart one? Proserpina Dec 2015 #3
no damn wonder mama wanted him hidden away. rurallib Dec 2015 #20
WTF does that mean? The white version? GusBob Dec 2015 #4
Exactly what came to my mind... elias49 Dec 2015 #19
Just one of many trial balloons Wellstone ruled Dec 2015 #5
More like a trail of buffoons. nt Xipe Totec Dec 2015 #16
All in the Rethug master game plan. Wellstone ruled Dec 2015 #36
The Fourth Estate is a Fifth Column. Xipe Totec Dec 2015 #37
This garbage started with Nixon and Wellstone ruled Dec 2015 #45
and we all thought george was the dumb one dembotoz Dec 2015 #6
I suspect that Hayduke Bomgarte Dec 2015 #13
I may not be too happy with obama these days Robbins Dec 2015 #7
Jeb should go ellie Dec 2015 #8
Jeb, even pond scum shit has more brains than you. onecaliberal Dec 2015 #9
Desperate times... (as the saying goes.) NurseJackie Dec 2015 #10
I agree n/t ejbr Dec 2015 #22
It just sends a signal to the world that we're not serious Hayduke Bomgarte Dec 2015 #11
I think that is what makes me the most angry. onecaliberal Dec 2015 #12
+1 FailureToCommunicate Dec 2015 #26
Jebbie's sportin' a polysci woodie.... in true Bush* family landshark fashion... Raster Dec 2015 #14
Another classic Jeb! fail. fleur-de-lisa Dec 2015 #15
Just when I thought he was smarter than shrub.... blackspade Dec 2015 #17
trump fits right in with the republican party. rockfordfile Dec 2015 #18
Jeb!? is an idiot Hekate Dec 2015 #21
my reaction, took. MBS Dec 2015 #30
The further along this camapign season goes Jeb Bartlet Dec 2015 #23
George the "Shrub" was charismatic? FailureToCommunicate Dec 2015 #31
Jeb sure has a huge head rickford66 Dec 2015 #38
he does not even make sense. hopemountain Dec 2015 #24
It is somewhat sobering to realize that Shrub was the smart one all along. malthaussen Dec 2015 #25
Unlike Lake Wobegon, IDemo Dec 2015 #28
Jeb? would certainly know about how to cheat at elections in Florida... Hekate Dec 2015 #43
And Jeb Is The Other Hillary billhicks76 Dec 2015 #27
Please tell us how much difference, in dimes, there is between Jeb? and Hillary. I look forward... Hekate Dec 2015 #42
On Foreign Policy, Drug War and Surveillance? billhicks76 Dec 2015 #57
What a nutjeb. Gregorian Dec 2015 #29
Like a sideshow geek. Jack-o-Lantern Dec 2015 #32
Jeb is the other version of bush. truthisfreedom Dec 2015 #33
Jeb Bush is a moron. Why is he even still in the race? SomethingNew Dec 2015 #34
I hope they don't think they can STEAL THIS ELECTION ALSO WITH JEBBY.... onecent Dec 2015 #39
Jeb is increasingly incoherent. seafan Dec 2015 #35
Zip up your pants, Jebbie... tavernier Dec 2015 #40
Gingrich said the same thing elmac Dec 2015 #41
Fake news divided the country almost a decade ago. Has been expanding. oldandhappy Dec 2015 #44
Jeb! sofa king Dec 2015 #47
And Jeb is the other version of stupid. Helen Borg Dec 2015 #49
My god is Jeb! still around? NastyRiffraff Dec 2015 #50
Dude is so lost BeyondGeography Dec 2015 #51
That's right.. Blame trump on President Obama.. he gets blamed for everything else.. why not.. Cha Dec 2015 #52
WTF does that even mean? liberal N proud Dec 2015 #53
Do you folks NOT pay attention? getagrip_already Dec 2015 #54
Jebby's articulation is worse than idiot brother 'W', over and over again. ViseGrip Dec 2015 #55
this incoherent babble from jeb! is almost sad to watch restorefreedom Dec 2015 #56
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