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65. May I see your hetero registration card please?

Wed May 7, 2014, 06:14 PM

May 2014

Ted Cruz has white hoods rammed in his skull instead of brains.
If his Christian vision of Sharia Law were in effect, one of three things must occur. Either all the straight (or pretend straight) people register to receive an ID proving they are heterosexual in order to do business with Angry Closet Boy and his fellow members of the Kloset Klan, the state requires homosexual people to self identify with some sort of visual cue (such as a pink triangle sewn on a shirt (ah the good ol' days for Cruz), or the state allows anyone to mistreat anyone if they just happen to think the other person is gay.
I think men should start aggressively asking Ted to stop looking at their crotches. At every public appearance, a man should say something to the effect of, "Sen. Cruz, I have a question. How is the gover...excuse me Senator, my eyes are up here. I would appreciate it if you would stop looking at my crotch. It is not for you."
Do this often enough, and he will eventually respond with, "I wasn't looking at your crotch."
And then the headlines write themselves.

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Ted Cruz: Christians Shouldn’t Be Required To Do Business With Gay People [View all] big_dog May 2014 OP

Dear Ted, go fuck yourself with a saguaro cactus. Scuba May 2014 #1

What did that cactus ever do to you? AtheistCrusader May 2014 #6

Yes, the cacti customerserviceguy May 2014 #82

obviously, this dick never read Matthew 31-45. roguevalley May 2014 #89

Almost none of the Christians who get into the news these days seem to have read that FiveGoodMen May 2014 #99

And Matthew 25... KatyMan May 2014 #113

"I was hungry and thirst, and you cut food stamps..." Beartracks May 2014 #116

Very Nice! lib87 May 2014 #129

+1 sakabatou May 2014 #13

I love the stately saguaro. Please choose another. kairos12 May 2014 #20

what a terrible thing to suggest... mike_c May 2014 #58

You are correct... the "Teddy Bear Cholla Cactus" (Cylindropuntia bigelovii) waddirum May 2014 #81

My question to him would be "Does the reverse apply as well?" tonybgood May 2014 #114

Ted will change his mind once a Muslim shopkeeper won't sell him bacon. nt alp227 May 2014 #2

I'm sure The Little Sisters of The Poor Mr.Bill May 2014 #3

It also struck me that he chose "Little Sisters of the Poor" to make his point. Voice for Peace May 2014 #106

All they have to do is fill out paperwork atreides1 May 2014 #4

How about black people, Ted? or Jews? nt HomerRamone May 2014 #5

Seriously.... Rebubula May 2014 #9

WE shouldn't be required to hear from Cruz's ignorant clap hole underpants May 2014 #7

You do not have to do business with anyone oldandhappy May 2014 #8

Why doesn't some billionaire step up SamKnause May 2014 #10

The more I travel... Rebubula May 2014 #12

Hey Ted: Keefer May 2014 #11

Triangles and stars and numbers, oh my! blkmusclmachine May 2014 #74

If you're a Christian and you don't want to do business with gay people, that's fine Leontius May 2014 #14

Well said. Louisiana1976 May 2014 #29

Amen and Alleluia LynneSin May 2014 #111

And NOBODY shold be required 2naSalit May 2014 #15

Does that mean he thinks non-Christians should indeed be required to serve gays? JohnnyRingo May 2014 #16

And I say let them discriminate. But that interesting sign in the window would be mandatory! A Simple Game May 2014 #44

Good point. JohnnyRingo May 2014 #72

That's why we have inalienable rights CJCRANE May 2014 #17

Who's Next??? otohara May 2014 #18

Unwed mothers, single women, blah people, anyone that makes less than $250,000/yr., nonChristians, blkmusclmachine May 2014 #75

Love The Sinner, Hate the sin kchamberlin25 May 2014 #19

That's euphemism for: gopiscrap May 2014 #95

"...but you may rest assured that I love you." Voice for Peace May 2014 #107

Good point, and welcome. mac56 May 2014 #110

Not a problem. Go to the embassay, renounce their citizenship, get lost. jtuck004 May 2014 #21

Ted should get campaign donations from the Taliban. kairos12 May 2014 #22

Some people are saying... FiveGoodMen May 2014 #24

And the Pope would say WHAT about this??? elleng May 2014 #23

Well, when his Bishops in Uganda tell their flocks to turn their gay children in Bluenorthwest May 2014 #55

but...all his pretty, vague words! Crash2Parties May 2014 #119

So-called Christians sure can be judgemental and callous. Hoyt May 2014 #25

It's why they're called "The American Taliban." And well deserved, if you ask me! blkmusclmachine May 2014 #77

So why don't the christians all go to another place and form their own country? sinkingfeeling May 2014 #26

With that logic, TED.... yuiyoshida May 2014 #27

+1 million Louisiana1976 May 2014 #32

Let's take it all the way to Mr.Bill May 2014 #40

Good one! classof56 May 2014 #97

Show yourself HockeyMom May 2014 #28

But would a print shop owner, who is gay, have to print stuff for Westboro Baptist? 7962 May 2014 #30

That's what I was thinking. It should work in reverse as well. Erich Bloodaxe BSN May 2014 #31

I've used the same argument with people who push for teacher-led paryer in schools 7962 May 2014 #41

"No,but that's a Scarecrow fallacy on accounta this ain't a Muslim country it's a Christian Country! brett_jv May 2014 #91

"pledge of the legions" Voice for Peace May 2014 #108

Only if you can charge them more money... yuiyoshida May 2014 #33

This is why I see things differently SnakeEyes May 2014 #69

And thats the ticket, right there. 7962 May 2014 #83

Lester Maddox agrees with you. He used the very same argument to keep his restaurant segregated. Ikonoklast May 2014 #88

Rand Paul agrees with you, Progressive dog May 2014 #109

Ted Cruz should push through a new law They_Live May 2014 #34

Don't worry Ted. "Christians" who won't buy or sell from gays aren't really Christian at all. Zen Democrat May 2014 #35

Depends on whether 'Christian' means sincere followers of Jesus' teachings FiveGoodMen May 2014 #37

Just because you're sincere doesn't mean you're on the right path. Zen Democrat May 2014 #42

I think it's arguable that Christianity is whatever a majority of Christians practice FiveGoodMen May 2014 #43

Here's the thing: under a theocracy Ted Cruz could be labeled a heretic CJCRANE May 2014 #52

No argument, but this little sub-thread was about who defines what's REALLY Christian FiveGoodMen May 2014 #53

No problem. Le Taz Hot May 2014 #36

Those type businesses already have an emblem: the fish sign. blkmusclmachine May 2014 #78

So when are these faux-Christians going to ask that others wear something PumpkinAle May 2014 #38

Ted Cruz speaking for Christians is like tavernier May 2014 #39

With Right-Wing Christianity: Zen Democrat May 2014 #45

I agree. tavernier May 2014 #68

Hey Ted! My tax dollars should not have to pay for your muntrv May 2014 #46

Hey Ted STFU! sheshe2 May 2014 #47

I'm not bashing Christians, but Christianity is a choice. HuckleB May 2014 #48

Ah religion amuse bouche May 2014 #49

Religion's real purpose is to keep people from demanding their fair share of the wealth. blkmusclmachine May 2014 #79

That too. Accept your lot in life amuse bouche May 2014 #84

Ted Cruz: Christians Shouldn’t Be Required To Do Business With Black People Hosnon May 2014 #50

Ted Cruz: Christians should only do business with card carrying (white) Christians. L0oniX May 2014 #96

Wait till the rightwingers joins the "World Church of the Creator", NutmegYankee May 2014 #51

Ted can stop watching TV dickthegrouch May 2014 #54

"We need 100 Jesse Helms' in the Senate" czarjak May 2014 #56

Real Christians have no problem doing business with 'gay people.' pangaia May 2014 #57

Would you estimate that there are more real or more fake Christians in the world? FiveGoodMen May 2014 #59

You ask a very good question. pangaia May 2014 #61

I'd estimate more fake than real. olddad56 May 2014 #67

How did Carnival Cruz pass Constitutional Law? Gothmog May 2014 #60

Can a Muslim cab driver refuse to pick up a woman travelling alone? McCamy Taylor May 2014 #62

So, if Ted Cruz comes into my ER, should I let him die, because my religion calls him a murderer? McCamy Taylor May 2014 #63

My wife is outrage and sicken by Cruz's comment BUT then she also said WHY SHOULD CHRISTIANS ALONE diabeticman May 2014 #64

May I see your hetero registration card please? Android3.14 May 2014 #65

If Cruz was living in the 50's sakabatou May 2014 #66

They discriminated against Hispanics in the 1950s jmowreader May 2014 #93

He thrives on hate, without it, what would he have to say? n/t Jefferson23 May 2014 #70

Remember, Ted's daddy told him he's the next Jesus. blkmusclmachine May 2014 #80

Well, Rafael, people shouldn't have to listen to your homophobic ravings either. Beacool May 2014 #71

Christian Sharia (or should I say "Christian"); This dude is a Christian Dominionist, yes? blkmusclmachine May 2014 #73

and intelligent, thoughtful, caring, HUMANS should not have to do business, or, worse yet, niyad May 2014 #76

Says the fucking anti-Christian, ted babbling cruz Cha May 2014 #85

"A babbling fool will come to ruin." nyquil_man May 2014 #86

Haven't we seen this shit before? Like in the 1960's? nt BootinUp May 2014 #87

"I don't reject Christ. I love Christ." toddwv May 2014 #90

I'd love it if Teddy-boy could point me to the passage in teh Bible referring to Health Insurance? brett_jv May 2014 #92

........... trusty elf May 2014 #94

What a sad, little man. nt City Lights May 2014 #98

OK so what about... RoccoR5955 May 2014 #100

Again JustAnotherGen May 2014 #101

Gay People shouldn't have to do business with bigots liberal N proud May 2014 #102

He's a raving idiot Faux pas May 2014 #103

" Religious groups may opt out of the contraception mandate by filling out a form.." dionysus May 2014 #104

What has to be reconciled.............. mrmpa May 2014 #105

Unfair! We sometimes have to do business with stupid people tclambert May 2014 #112

I prefer we prosecute them for hate speech: Leviticus says: grahamhgreen May 2014 #115

I will never do business with Ted Cruz Martin Eden May 2014 #117

Ted Cruz Is The New Sarah Palin DallasNE May 2014 #118

Atheists shouldn't be required to do business with truthisfreedom May 2014 #120

Look, Its' simple Sentath May 2014 #121

and I shouldn't have to demigoddess May 2014 #122

Hmmmm...my faith says that members of the Tea Party are not Christian. Stonepounder May 2014 #123

*sigh* you can't fix stupid. Anyone Zorra May 2014 #124

Message auto-removed Name removed May 2014 #125

I am all in favor of that Pakid May 2014 #126

Ted Cruz must not be a Christian or an American. He doesn't believe in BASIC equal rights for all. Sunlei May 2014 #127

Christians shouldn't be granted business licenses if they want to pick their customers. It is the rainy May 2014 #128

Cruz is a walking disaster Rosa Luxemburg May 2014 #130

Freedom of religion as I see it Cresent City Kid May 2014 #131

Damn I hate that guy. Rhinodawg May 2014 #132

If they only knew.......nt. kelliekat44 May 2014 #133