How to talk to someone with cancer

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8. Thanks for posting ...

"Rule 6: Don’t be hasty with the best-case scenarios.

...Even if things are going well, let it go at its own pace. I can’t count the number of times people have called me a “survivor” or said things like, “So, are you cured?” This happens a lot to those of us in the club. It makes us feel a little rushed here. Like you’re so eager to wrap this thing up and move on already.

...They live with their disease for years on end. Please, be patient with them.


Rule 9: Be useful.

... So use your ingenuity — and don’t wait around for a request. It’s not that the person with cancer is necessarily shy; he or she may just be a little preoccupied lately without having to come up with errands for you run. Bake a potpie. Or knit a cool hat. Or ask, “Do you want to come over on Tuesday and watch a movie?” Specificity is good. The words “sometime” or “tell me what to do” are not..."

And Rule 10 as well.


Some people have a gift to anticipate a need and do so without asking, others seem to wait for a specific request. It makes such a difference in the person's daily life!

As a family member said to me, you find out who is in your lfeboat and who is not. We thank everyone who has been in our lifeboat, some friendships and family relationships have been strengthened and unfortunately a few have become a bit strained. You just never know.