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sop

(17,838 posts)
Sat Jan 31, 2026, 10:18 AM Yesterday

'Seventy-Five Million Dollars for Absolutely Fucking Nothing' - jojofromjerz [View all]

"Today hit like a brick to the face. Reporters arrested. Epstein files dumped like radioactive waste. Press conferences that felt like hostage videos. And somewhere under all that—like a rancid cherry on a shit sundae—was the premiere of Melania: The Movie, a thing that technically happened in this timeline whether we like it or not."

"While the world is actively shitting itself sideways—while masked goons who couldn’t pass a high-school civics test if it came with emojis, flashcards, a laminated cheat sheet, and a golden retriever pawing the correct answer are disappearing people, dragging children away, and turning sidewalks into crime scenes—these delusional, self-fellating, ass-clown shitmerchants stared into the wreckage and said yes. Yes. Now. Now is the moment for a self-serious movie about Melania Trump."

"A seventy-five-million-dollar movie about Melania Trump."

"Just saying that out loud makes my tongue feel dirty, like I licked a subway pole for a dare I don’t remember agreeing to. Nobody asked for this. Nobody needed it. Nobody lay awake whispering into the void, please God, give me ninety minutes of Melania in soft lighting. This thing exists the way a hemorrhoid exists—uninvited, throbbing, and insisting you deal with it."

"And nobody went. Boston’s biggest theater sold zero tickets. Not 'slow night.' Not 'light turnout.' A pristine, museum-quality zero. An auditorium so empty it felt offended by the idea of an audience."

Continued at link:

https://open.substack.com/pub/jojofromjerz/p/seventy-five-million-dollars-for?r=r38w4&utm_medium=ios

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