S#!T Ignorant People Say To Autistics

[proverbialwisdom]

18. Does your curiosity and concern extend to what people say to parents of children with autism, too?

http://www.kulturecity.org/why-autism.html

[center]http://vimeo.com/90931142[/center]

Why Autism?

It is the fastest growing developmental diagnosis in the world today. The CDC estimates that 1 in 68 children have autism, an increase of 30% since 2010. Out of these children, 50% of them are considered non-verbal. However, 80% of them have IQs that are normal or above normal. Autism affects all socioeconomic statuses and races equally. In 2030, it is estimated that 1 in 3 children might have autism. These children learn and experience everything differently. But that does not make them any less.

The Family and Autism

Living with a child who has autism can have effects on every family member. It is a uniquely shared experience for these families and can affect all aspects of family functioning. On the positive side, it can broaden horizons, increase family members' awareness of their inner strength, enhance family cohesion, and encourage connections to community groups or religious institutions.

On the negative side, the time and financial costs, physical and emotional demands, and logistical complexities associated with raising a child with autism can have far-reaching effects. The impact can be significant, and will depend on severity levels of their ASD, as well as the physical, emotional, and financial wherewithal of the family and the resources that are available to them.

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http://thinkingmomsrevolution.com/bless-heart/

Bless Your Heart
Posted on April 29, 2014 by Thinking Moms' Revolution

In Texas, it is not uncommon to hear the phrase “bless her heart” and to feel a pang of sympathy in response. While it may be well-intentioned, the saying is rarely used outside the context of pity or shame.

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In the autism world, parents are often confronted with similar well-meaning axioms. They run the gamut from “God gives special kids to special people” or “God only gives you as much as you can handle” or (my personal favorite) “everything happens for a reason.” Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but NONE of these makes me feel better.

Listen, I get that it can be very difficult for those with unaffected or neurotypical children, or no children at all, to figure out what to say when my daughter begins violently scratching me and smacking herself at a playground. I know that I bring a lot of discomfort and baggage with me wherever I go, and it’s hard to know just how to properly communicate sympathy or concern. The instinct is to try to make me feel better about my circumstances and I both understand and appreciate the gesture. I sound sour and truthfully I am but only because people don’t seem to grasp the power of their words.

Because, in all honesty, these expressions only serve to make me angry and defensive. Admittedly, I live in an almost constant state of agitation and anxiety, but these sayings just set me off. And here’s why...