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The Velveteen Ocelot

(129,265 posts)

12. Another pirate walks into a bar.

Sun Feb 4, 2018, 08:51 PM

Feb 2018

The bartender asks him why he has a peg leg. The pirate says, "Arrgh, I lost me leg in a battle at sea." Then the bartender asks him why he has a hook instead of a right hand. The pirate says, "Well, I lost me hand in another battle at sea." And then the bartender asks him why he wears an eye patch. The pirate says, "Arrgh, me boy, I lost me eye when a sea gull shat in it." The bartender is surprised, and asks how in the world sea gull shit could cause him to lose his eye. And the pirate says, "Well, it happened just after I got me hook..."

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Know any good "walks into a bar" jokes? [View all] red dog 1 Feb 2018 OP

A termite walks into a bar and asks muntrv Feb 2018 #1

I love that one. nt zanana1 Feb 2018 #25

here you go crazycatlady Feb 2018 #2

A priest, a Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. longship Feb 2018 #3

A skeleton walks into a bar Glorfindel Feb 2018 #4

Pony walks into a bar and takes a seat. LuckyCharms Feb 2018 #5

A horse walks into a bar. Ohiogal Feb 2018 #6

A glum looking horse walks into a bar. LuckyCharms Feb 2018 #7

Pirate walks into a bar LuckyCharms Feb 2018 #8

Another pirate walks into a bar. The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2018 #12

LOL! LuckyCharms Feb 2018 #17

Good one! red dog 1 Feb 2018 #29

Guy walks into a bar... Major Nikon Feb 2018 #9

That's a keeper ornotna Feb 2018 #18

Two lawyers walk into a bar Alpeduez21 Feb 2018 #10

Jesus walks into a bar and sets three nails down on the counter milestogo Feb 2018 #11

Giraffe walks into a bar yankeepants Feb 2018 #13

A thousand lemmings walk into a bar TlalocW Feb 2018 #14

Three logicians walk into a bar TlalocW Feb 2018 #15

A guy walks into a bar TlalocW Feb 2018 #16

Afraid not Brother Buzz Feb 2018 #19

A neutron walks into a bar SchrodingersCatbox Feb 2018 #20

Not a walks-into-a-bar joke, but your name made me think of this one: The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2018 #21

Love it! SchrodingersCatbox Feb 2018 #22

A guy walks into a bar... edbermac Feb 2018 #23

Two chemists walk into a bar Orrex Feb 2018 #24

A woman walks into a bar and says, rzemanfl Feb 2018 #26

A magician walks down the street and turns into a bar... Wounded Bear Feb 2018 #27

Two atoms are walking down the street. Aristus Feb 2018 #28

A dyslexic walks into a bra. Le Gaucher Feb 2018 #30

Warning: This one is disgusting. rusty quoin Feb 2018 #31

A neutron walks into a bar sakabatou Feb 2018 #32