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The Velveteen Ocelot

(129,264 posts)

21. Not a walks-into-a-bar joke, but your name made me think of this one:

Mon Feb 5, 2018, 12:38 AM

Feb 2018

Heisenberg, Schrödinger and Ohm are taking a road trip, with Heisenberg at the wheel. A cop pulls them over, and asks Heisenberg, "Did you know you were doing 80 miles an hour?" and Heisenberg says, "Damn, now I'm lost!" The cop thinks these guys are kind of odd, so he tells Heisenberg to pop the trunk. He goes to check it out, and says, "Hey, did you know you've got a dead cat back here?" "We do now, asshole!" Schrödinger yells. The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.

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Know any good "walks into a bar" jokes? [View all] red dog 1 Feb 2018 OP

A termite walks into a bar and asks muntrv Feb 2018 #1

I love that one. nt zanana1 Feb 2018 #25

here you go crazycatlady Feb 2018 #2

A priest, a Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. longship Feb 2018 #3

A skeleton walks into a bar Glorfindel Feb 2018 #4

Pony walks into a bar and takes a seat. LuckyCharms Feb 2018 #5

A horse walks into a bar. Ohiogal Feb 2018 #6

A glum looking horse walks into a bar. LuckyCharms Feb 2018 #7

Pirate walks into a bar LuckyCharms Feb 2018 #8

Another pirate walks into a bar. The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2018 #12

LOL! LuckyCharms Feb 2018 #17

Good one! red dog 1 Feb 2018 #29

Guy walks into a bar... Major Nikon Feb 2018 #9

That's a keeper ornotna Feb 2018 #18

Two lawyers walk into a bar Alpeduez21 Feb 2018 #10

Jesus walks into a bar and sets three nails down on the counter milestogo Feb 2018 #11

Giraffe walks into a bar yankeepants Feb 2018 #13

A thousand lemmings walk into a bar TlalocW Feb 2018 #14

Three logicians walk into a bar TlalocW Feb 2018 #15

A guy walks into a bar TlalocW Feb 2018 #16

Afraid not Brother Buzz Feb 2018 #19

A neutron walks into a bar SchrodingersCatbox Feb 2018 #20

Not a walks-into-a-bar joke, but your name made me think of this one: The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2018 #21

Love it! SchrodingersCatbox Feb 2018 #22

A guy walks into a bar... edbermac Feb 2018 #23

Two chemists walk into a bar Orrex Feb 2018 #24

A woman walks into a bar and says, rzemanfl Feb 2018 #26

A magician walks down the street and turns into a bar... Wounded Bear Feb 2018 #27

Two atoms are walking down the street. Aristus Feb 2018 #28

A dyslexic walks into a bra. Le Gaucher Feb 2018 #30

Warning: This one is disgusting. rusty quoin Feb 2018 #31

A neutron walks into a bar sakabatou Feb 2018 #32