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Backseat Driver

(4,392 posts)

25. My mom had asked me to "never speak to her again."

Mon Sep 20, 2021, 05:33 AM

Sep 2021

I gave her time to consider and she said yes, that's what she wanted - I told her to have a good life; I guess 92 years was sufficient. I can only imagine conversations because none of the rest ever called me just to talk until their last illnesses. Like Dr. Laura, I could not find my "better angel" back then. Folks crucified Dr. Laura, but I'm no psychologist. It was a long time before I could re-frame and heal 90% from the toxic cruelties/double messages she spewed, but I got all kinds of counseling and eventually came to the conclusion about how her childhood traumas must have shaped her fundamentalist black-and-white thinking over being a nurturing mom. I'm not a perfect person either; she was clearly disappointed in her daughter and grandchildren. My siblings, brother and sister, and I took early leave on very different pathways.

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In mourning again, still... [View all] Backseat Driver Sep 2021 OP

My condolences for your many losses BD leftieNanner Sep 2021 #1

I'm so sorry GPV Sep 2021 #2

You've really been through it, my dear Backseat Driver...and it's hard. CaliforniaPeggy Sep 2021 #3

That's very tough. NNadir Sep 2021 #4

Thanks so much... Backseat Driver Sep 2021 #28

Glad you found your way here. calimary Sep 2021 #5

Yes, thanks... Backseat Driver Sep 2021 #29

very sorry, Backseat Driver Skittles Sep 2021 #6

Deepest condolences SheltieLover Sep 2021 #14

thanks Skittles Sep 2021 #16

I'm sure he knew, even if his recognition wasn't evident. SheltieLover Sep 2021 #18

I hear you. Bro had trouble using a cell phone; I'm pretty sure there Backseat Driver Sep 2021 #26

He'd call and let me know that he'd puked that day. We Backseat Driver Sep 2021 #24

Deepest sympathies. But, take care of yourself throughout these bad times. Karadeniz Sep 2021 #7

This message was self-deleted by its author Chin music Sep 2021 #8

I feel for you BD, and I wish you peace as you come to terms with this The Polack MSgt Sep 2021 #9

... alwaysinasnit Sep 2021 #10

Take care, BD. We're here and not going anywhere. ancianita Sep 2021 #11

DU always has a light on, an offer of a cup of coffee duhneece Sep 2021 #12

I hear ya, and I sympathize with you bucolic_frolic Sep 2021 #13

So sorry for your losses SheltieLover Sep 2021 #15

My condolences nt XanaDUer2 Sep 2021 #17

I'm very sorry for your losses, BD. brer cat Sep 2021 #19

Sorry to hear this, my friend FakeNoose Sep 2021 #20

Hugs to you Backseat Driver lunatica Sep 2021 #21

My mom had asked me to "never speak to her again." Backseat Driver Sep 2021 #25

This message was self-deleted by its author Not Heidi Sep 2021 #22

I'm very sorry, BD Not Heidi Sep 2021 #23

Thank you and welcome to DU! Backseat Driver Sep 2021 #27